X11 season 45 - de rigueur Mortis

[Antepli Ejderha]

Thanks VA, it's a good feeling. Les S were quite a mess for a few seasons early on so it's nice to see them deliver at last. Acorns a plenty.

Great work that Sits, you can have both a congratulations and a Guzman from me.

Thanks to Hot Orange for saving us as well. From title challenging to relegation favourites in a few short weeks is some achievement. With no plan b, and no plan a by the looks of things, we're going to struggle next season.

[Sits]

Are you not impressed with the Soviet era holiday camp that we've put you up in?

Ooh great, we're your next guests. Do we wake to klaxons?

Thanks Antep.

[Sean of the Shed]

We've lined up an Eduard Khil tribute act for your evening's entertainment.

[Sits]

The players are requesting the Trololo Song.

[Sits]

As VA mentions, buying players is one of the joys of the game (unless you've had twenty Poor evals of course). Lincolnshire Curly Coats have had to move on after the departure of legendary goalie Hugh Callender, so I took advantage of the extra data available in the Official Leagues.

Found a 21/7 keeper, Don Rust who on a click-through turned out to have begun his career as an 18/5 junior, and thus in theory has an extra jump in the tank. He's going to play every game so with any luck he'll be "on the path" again in a season or two. And of course he was dirt cheap, which a 20/7 or 21/8 wouldn't have been.

So far so good, young Don has a DV of 18 after half a season. Mind you, sustaining a DV like that for so long can be harder than getting it there in the first place.

[Sean of the Shed]

The players are requesting the Trololo Song.

It's the only one he knows. It's a three hour set...

[Wouter D]

Five double jumps for the Märkische Mädels, including the 17/4 goalkeeper that joined from the youth academy with six games to go. We cannot complain.

[Etienne]

Brief summary of the Dragon's Nest.

Cardiff Dragons (Ultimate League) - We're doomed. Like VSU we were hit with three retirements in one go last season. Two of them we could have managed with, but the loss of Gennadi Kotlarevksy in midfield means we are too underpowered to compete in Division 1. Squad generally is coming on OK though.

Drakaina (Ladies) - Up as champions in Division 4, ahead of Gretna Girls (who won the Cup, so a great achievement). Two retirements announced - Grace Winter which was inevitable and Alicia Keyshinhas. No surprise and the squad is coming on well. Just taken advantage of the crazy transfer market to get almost 11m in the bank from selling our reserve keeper (a 20/8).

Amwythig Dragons (OTF) 3 wins, 2 defeats. The comprehensive nature of our defeats to the top two was alarming, but we're still in the mix.

Nguékhokh Ninkinànka (Chaos Cartel) relegated from the top flight last season, in a promotion position this season. I just can't fall in love with this team.

Sans Culottes (Xpert Zone) Top division, another title challenge is a possibility after coming third despite 144 injury days last season, but I think Riff City Tigers are going to win it.

Sarkanyok (Heineken) We've been stuck in Division 5 for several seasons as we rebuild. This season we are fighting to avoid relegation, could be very tight. Next season we should be stronger, two seasons much stronger.

Suffragette City (Xpert Ladies) Good solid change report, no doubles but lots of singles, no retirement announcements. We are definitely aiming to recapture the title this season.

Zalec Zmaj (MXL) Lots of good players, but slightly unbalanced - not sure we'll win many games playing 3-4-3 which would suit our squad the best. But should be strong enough to make the playoffs with a decent draw.

[Various Artist]

Well done Wouter. The turnaround begins! I see there's an interesting name-change request in for the two-time Human League champions, to boot...


Middling-to-solid, entirely unremarkable CR for Sandringham Park. Operative word "middling" – it ranks 6th of our 11 CRs for net skill increase, at +8.7, though this somewhat masks a rather unimpressive gross increase due to an unusually (for us) small decrease column. To be fair, the latter would've been even less had I not had an unused reserve keeper losing skill, the indicatively-named Georgina Place-Holder, but there's a slight worry we've plateaued again.

Chief frustration is that I've had another instance of the 'wrong' player announcing their retirement. The most recent was at United Underground, at the start of last season, where the declining Ernest Euston decided to stay on (though after the next CR he has now belatedly announced his decision to go) whilst his midfield colleague Douglas Dollis Hill at one year younger, one skillbar better and still at the peak of his powers decided that he would quit. Similarly, Sandringham forward the Hon. Anne Offa-Gaine has just lost skill for the fourth Change Report in a row, yet at 36/10 still has no intention of hanging up her boots. Key 35/13 defender Lady Penelope Pitt-Stopp on the other hand, despite having lost not a step, has naturally announced that she's going to jack it in at the end of the coming THL season. Grraargh.

[Antepli Ejderha]

The transfer of Juliana Sales between Warrior Girls and Zeugma Dostluk Spor have been reported and awaits investigation. Decision on the matter will be taken as soon as possible. This means that a member of support will check out the transfer deal. The check will be performed within 24 hours after the transfer deadline or the seller accepting the bid. If the transfer is approved you will find the deal has gone through as the player has left, or joined your team. If it is rejected you will get a new mail telling you so.

33/11 forward I sold her for just over 2 million econs. I was surprised to get that much.
This is the first time I'm being investigated for a transfer.

[Various Artist]

I wouldn't worry AE, it's hardly as if she's gone for a ridiculous amount. Estimated transfer values in the Xpert Ladies are so warped though due to the nature of the unique market there, especially for slightly older players who become almost worthless once the season is any distance underway (the Xpert Ladies is a lot like Hollywood in its valuation of women over 30), it means that an automatic flag is going to be raised since presumably she was officially rated at around 200k or something.

[Antepli Ejderha]

I wouldn't worry AE, it's hardly as if she's gone for a ridiculous amount. Estimated transfer values in the Xpert Ladies are so warped though due to the nature of the unique market there, especially for slightly older players who become almost worthless once the season is any distance underway (the Xpert Ladies is a lot like Hollywood in its valuation of women over 30), it means that an automatic flag is going to be raised since presumably she was officially rated at around 200k or something.

Spot on with the estimated value. It's the first time I've been investigated but I'm not worried. When I saw the bidding war this morning I thought this would happen.

Congratulations to Smallcaps/Wouter on all those double jumps.

[Antepli Ejderha]

A 19/3 forward arrived from the Xpert Ladies academy yesterday, she did have the tough and free kick qualities but she has to be the worst player I've ever had arrive. My fault for reducing the funding and ending up on two stars.

[jdsx]

Ah, Four Candles' investment in the YA seems finally to be paying off... Had a 17/5 MF arrive this morning (just 7 days after our 17/4 GK....). Worth 4 million. Do I sell, or do I sacrifice our good start to the season for some development. Decisions, decisions.....

[Kevin S]

Oooh, you've got to keep a player like that, surely.

[jdsx]

Oooh, you've got to keep a player like that, surely.

I'd love to, but I don't have a great record in developing players ;-/ Be nice to get him to 19/8 or 20/9 though...

[jdsx]

33/11 forward I sold her for just over 2 million econs. I was surprised to get that much.
This is the first time I'm being investigated for a transfer.

And apparently my sale in the Xpert Ladies is also being investigated.... Leslie Levein is/was a 21/8 MF, valued at 1.8 million. She sold for 3.9 million, but she does have freekick, hardshot, headers and speed, so I thought she'd go for more than the valuation...

[Various Artist]

Blimey, no that's a terrific set of qualities – even allowing for the vagaries of this market that still seems an absurdly low estimation.

I'm glad the Candles' academy is firing on all cylinders now. Told you it would likely come good soon enough with some patience, didn't I?!

We [Viking South Utsira] also have plenty of youths coming up ...

True to form, VSU's currently fecund academy presented me with a 17/4 Horsey Joker striker Ulrikke Klovning a couple of days ago, so we now have six forwards on the books including retiring Manuças Fudida. The tricky thing is deciding what to do with 18/4 Unni Kvalvik (Oscar, Horse, Headers), who came just three games before the end of last season and thus could only be dragged to 11 DV – but she put in some good performances, which makes me think she's worth persevering with. The new arrival though makes things that much more awkward.

... which is a luxury Tiree don't have. They are now down to 15 players in the squad, of which one is a placeholder reserve goalie. Badly need the YA to come up trumps there tonight, and preferably again before the close-season is out.

Well, we received a 17/3 Oscar midfielder, Andrew Lough Foyle, which isn't the end of the world, and five nights later the academy has indeed spat out another product as hoped for. Sadly though he's a 19/5 vanilla midfielder who's barely worth promoting, so I haven't, at least as yet. He does however rejoice in a wonderfully silly name, and looks suitably gormless to boot, which almost makes me want to fork out the 30k fee for him:

[Kevin S]

[Various Artist]

Indeed, first thing I thought of!


Is SdR around, meanwhile? Tiree are still free tomorrow for an Inner Hebrides Challenge friendly if FC Tobermory want to invite us over.

[Janik]

Season 53 of the Xpert Ladies League dawns with Round 1 of the Cup. Who have the OTF sides (that I know of, if there are any others please shout) been drawn against?


Round 1 draw - first listed teams home in opening leg

AIK Ladies (6:45)		vs	Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC
Condense F.C. Girls (4m)	vs	LNWR Locomotive
Emerald City FC (6:54)		vs	Solent Sirens
F.C. Empoli (6:16)		vs	Erbil
JoBurg Belles (6:59)		vs	Csiki Girls
OFFS (6:31)			vs	Sockford Emollient
Palestina F.C. (6:51)		vs	Drakaina
Paris Vikings (6:32)		vs	Menywod Maeshafn
Riverbankers WFC		vs	Real Wisconsin Girls (4o)
Söders IF (6:17)		vs	Viking South Utsira
Ullapool Northern Star		vs	Meninas do Prior (5:24)
Wave Rider FC (6:16)		vs	Coxy Ladies Wulpen
Wenches of Doom (5:30)		vs	Dublin City WFC
Witches of Chiswick		vs	SLB Powerpuff Girls (4m)
Zeugma Dostluk Spor		vs	FC Cascavéis (4l)

Kanjeng Ratu Kidul WFC will open their campaign on the road in Sweden when they take on Division 6:45 outfit AIK Ladies.
Also travelling first are LNWR Locomotive, though The Steamers face an opponent from their own tier as they take on Condense F.C. Girls of Division 4m.
Two seventh tier sides are in opposition when Solent Sirens meet Division 6:54 side Emerald City FC. The first leg is in Oz.
Two tiers separate Erbil from Division 6:16 dwellers F.C. Empoli this season. The first leg of their Cup encounter will be in Italy.
Csiki Girls are also on the road, as they head South to take on Division 6:59’s JoBurg Belles.
Sockford Emollient will de away from both Framleyshire and this astral plane when they face a team from Division 6:31 so lacking in redeeming features that I’m totally censoring them to OFFS. Nearly every sexist moron box is ticked here, club name, stadium name, fan club name, logo picture. Effing hammer them, Foxy!
Not every political stance on X11 is as unedifying. Some, such as Drakaina’s opponents Palestina F.C. are making important points about representation. And not just doing so for Division 6:51. The first leg runs the visa gauntlet...
Division 5 takes on 6 when Menywod Maeshafn face Paris Vikings. The first leg is on the Seine.
Our first OTFer to play the opening leg at home will be Riverbankers WFC, who take on Division 4o opposition in the form of Real Wisconsin Girls.
An unexpectedly early elimination last season means no Round 1 bye for Viking South Utsira. Well, not technically. However Söders IF of Division 6:17 shouldn’t cause The Blood Eagles to lose any sleep.
You want to get games on the North-West coast of Scotland done as early in the season as possible. Therefore it’s a good thing that Ullapool Northern Star will host their opening leg with Meninas do Prior of Division 5:24.
Division 6:16 foes await Coxy Ladies Wulpen in the form of Wave Rider FC. The first leg is up on a crest.
A tie seeded against Divisional standings sends Dublin City WFC on a first leg journey to visit 5:30 side Wenches of Doom.
A tough test looks to be in store for Witches of Chiswick, who have been paired with SLB Powerpuff Girls of Division 4m. That is two tiers above The Bewitched these days...
Also taking on fifth tier opponents will be Zeugma Dostluk Spor. AE’s side will host FC Cascavéis of Division 4l in the first leg.

Sadly, it looks like Pebblethefish has jacked it in with Invisible Ladies. They are not showing up, at least. Which is appropriate, I suppose...

[Various Artist]

Nice one Janik! That's a pity about the See-Throughs, but you're quite right: they don't even, er, show up on Pebble's managerial profile page, so the club must've been managerless and hence deleted at the season update. Damn shame.

VSU's Round 1 participation is indeed a bit of a disconcertment, if that's a word – but with a somewhat unwieldy squad and terrible form right now, we can use all the cup games we can get to help DVs along, so I'm not complaining at getting two bonus games. I'm just hoping we can improve on last season's poor effort in the competition.

[SouthdownRebel]

Anybody else been able to log in to X11? Seems to have been offline all day.

[Hot Orange]

Anybody else been able to log in to X11? Seems to have been offline all day.

It's fine chez moi.

[SouthdownRebel]

Right, so it's only me that can't set tactics today then...