Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

[wingco]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Okay, these could change but . . .

Green Street
Ace Ventura II: When Nature Calls
Mr Magoo
Lost In Translation
The first Bridget Jones movie
Escape From LA (Whatever the fuck the second one was)
Kenneth Branagh's Frankenstein
The Man About The House movie
(I'm really crawling through the sewers of my memory here)

[EIM]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

I forgot Green Street. It'e beyond shit. It's a whole new word that hasn't been penned yet.

Pretty much any Eddie Murphy film of the past decade.

Any film of the past five years about tennis.

Any film with one of the cast members from Friends in it with possibly one exception, though I can't think of it. Scream, maybe.

[evilC]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

wingco wrote:

Okay, these could change but . . .

Green Street
Ace Ventura II: When Nature Calls
Mr Magoo
Lost In Translation
The first Bridget Jones movie
Escape From LA (Whatever the fuck the second one was)
Kenneth Branagh's Frankenstein
The Man About The House movie
(I'm really crawling through the sewers of my memory here)

Arguing against Wingco is like throwing yourself against a threshing machine. However, I have to say that I liked 'Lost In Translation'. It's the same deal as 'Before Sunrise' - the idea of romance out of nothing. We're loathe to let it go, but...

[evilC]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Someone tell me - am I alone in liking 'Paris, Texas'? I've never cried over a film like I cried over the denouement/ending of that one. And that includes 'Ballad of a Soldier'.

[Cal Alamein]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

hobbes wrote:

You are so odd sometimes, Lyra.

Pearl Harbour. A film so bad I had to take it out of the DVD player and throw it out the window after an hour. I wouldn't have even used it as an coaster lest it made my drinks taste of ham.
Then it's the only film I've ever walked out of the cinema for.

Agreed - we got our first DVD player and did not own any DVDs - someone lent us Pearl Harbor which I knew would be shit, but could in no way possible watch it for more than the first 30 minutes. Couldn't chuck it out the window, but it did not further soil the laser.

[Incandenza]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

EIM wrote:

Any film with one of the cast members from Friends in it with possibly one exception, though I can't think of it. Scream, maybe.

Decent Jennifer Aniston movies:
The Iron Giant (voice)
Office Space
The Good Girl

[EIM]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Office Space, that can be the one exception.

I don't count voice roles, and I aint seen The Good Girl.

[matt j]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

The Avengers
Indiana Jones and the incredibly stupid script (#4)
Howard the Duck
The Ladykillers (remake)
Sweet Home Alabama
Matrix: Regurgitations
Armageddon

I feel like I'm forgetting one that I usually remember... maybe I've finally blocked it out?

Nope...

The Unforgiven - Audrey Hepburn, Burt Lancaster, dir. John Huston

complete shit.

[Guest]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Top Gun
1941
Star Wars
Dune
City Heat

[Lucia Lanigan]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

That new Guy Ritchie one's shaping up to take the title, judging by the trailor. His dialogue reminds me of that story by the seven year old that Bored(?) posted here, where Busta Rhymes says "No, you bad man!" to Notorious B.I.G., stabs him and then has a hot chocolate. Except Ritchie'd have Pete Doherty in there too, only a mildly homophobic Pete Doherty with a gun and stuff.

[EIM]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

LL - You may like this then:

www.guardian.co.uk/film/2008/sep/05/thriller

That title of Mr Guy Ritchie's new featcha. Means geeza. Or mobsta. Top bruisa. In his London manna. Sad to say, the film's a shocka. A right depressa. Bit of a dispirita. For this directa, it ain't exactly a departcha. And the title means as well as everything else Mr Ritchie's become a dodgy spella. What a dismaying orthographical decline since his last pictcha. Which we must now think of as Revolva. This was influenced by the belief system known as Kabbala. Rememba? Espoused by his spouse, whose name may originally have been spelt "Madonner".

Howeva. This one does not have Danny Dya. That really would have been a killa. But it has got Tom Wilkinson (what a troopa), Gerard Butla and many an acta who learned to speak cockney at Rada.

It's got Thandie Newton, playing someone name-a Stella. She's just a stunna in designa clobba. And for the filmgoa who recalls her in Flirting, this is a bit of a choka. (I think she deserves betta.) And it's got Toby Kebbell, who once played the managa of that northern pop whingea who just felt sadda and sadda and finally came a fatal and tragically self-inflicted croppa.

All of these thesps pretend to be well harda than anyone else, in scenes that get shorta and shorta, accompanied by a well irritating mockney voiceova. Each playa's got his shoota. Each of them gets a silly monika, like "One Two" or "Mumbles". Sometimes they wear hats or caps - but a titfa is no substitute for a propa characta. There's a violent Russian monsta who appears to be a football club proprieta, which may trigga anga in a certain real life fella from Russia who will holla for his lawya. (I've seen subtla.) Guy Ritchie, who is also the writa, moreova has someone saying that London property prices are going to go up and up for eva and eva, which isn't exactly cleva, given the current financial weatha.

As so often in the oeuvra of the film's creata, each cipha sounds like he's a Groucho Club memba, a haunta of that exclusive London booza which contains many a bourgwa meeja wanka who thinks he's a West Ham supporta after a night on the powda. I mean, Mr Ritchie: this genra: it's ova. I mean, doing yet anotha stinka of a drama about the mee-lee-a of the ersatz London gangsta? You're taking the piss - intcha?

[Lucia Lanigan]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

I really anjoyed the first paragraph, and then it just got on my tits.

[EIM]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Substitute 'film' for 'paragraph', and there you have Guy Ritchie's career summed up for me.

[Spearmint Rhino]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

1. Silent Hill
2. Queen Of The Damned
3. Million Dollar Hotel
4. Pearl Harbour
5. Freddie vs Jason
6. Scary Movie 1, Scary Movie 2, Scary Movie 3
7. The Unbearable Lightness Of Being
8. Titanic
9. Rost In Tlansration
10. hmmm, I'm gonna come back to this.

[trimster]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Heaven's Gate
The English Patient
Bridget Jones
King Solomon's Mines (starring Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone)
Anything directed by Rainer Werner Fassbinder

[Gerontophile]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Any film by Kevin Smith, except Dogma (which is ironic given my profile bits).

Friends' Cast Turkeys:

Lisa Kudrow: Analyze That.
Matt Le Blanc: All The Queens Men
David Schwimmer: 6 Days 7 Nights
Jennifer Aniston: ?
Courtney Cox: ?
Matthew Perry: The Whole Ten Yards

and dont get me started on Kevin Costner...

[Jimski]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Actually one that just has to be mentioned...

Bram Stoker's Dracula

Embarrassingly bad, that was. Especially the pretence that this was in some way *Bram Stoker's* Dracula.

[ian.64]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Ooh, hold on. Bram Stoker's Dracula may be so overblown you can see it from the Arctic, but I appreciate the visual quality of the whole enterprise, its music score and that it has a certain charm that doesn't entirely become tainted by potentially damaging elements (eg. The Worst Accent In The World by a Mr. Keanu Reeves).

That said, I can see why some people might - and do - give it the finger.

Bad films? Oh, christ, so many. I'd start off my universe-sized list with any British 1970's celluloid 'spin-offs' from popular comedy shows, where the appeal of said programmes are immediately destroyed when transposed to the screen, looking cold, twice as tacky and cheap-looking, and, more importantly, no laughs. It was even worse when the 'big-screen' treatment was given to shows that were shit in the first place.

[Bored Of Education]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Thank you, SR and wingco, for agreeing with me on Lost in Translation. I thought I was alone.

Love the Benny Hill-style accenting, SR. Like the chicken, I thought it was rubbery.

[Spearmint Rhino]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

I also think Kevin Smith is overrated shite except Dogma.

But I love love love Bram Stoker's Dracula. Wonderful film.

[My Name Is Ian]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

I saw "Chasing Amy" at the cinema when it came out, and bought it on DVD a couple of years ago. I watched it again for the first time recently (I tend to do this - buy DVDs and then save them for a rainy day) and it was fucking awful. Tedious, self-centred guff with a bunch of really annoying characters that it was really difficult to have any sympathy.

So, Ben Affleck's character. You've fallen in love with a lesbian. Well, though shit. Stop being such a cunt about it.

[willie1foot]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Has anyone mentioned Hudson Hawk yet? Shite.

[Jimski]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Jeez, SR, what is it you see in Bram Stoker's Dracula? Personally I think it's a mix of:

Poor acting (Hopkins and Oldman at their over-acting worst, while Reeves, Frost and Ryder are very limited actors anyway);

Awful dialogue (Ryder's speeches of her supposed love for the Count must be some of the most embarrassing ever submitted to screenplay);

Ridiculous plot embarrassments (Ryder in love with Count, why exactly? Ryder and Frost get it on, why exactly?);

and for anyone who knows the source novel, changes aplenty, almost all for the worse (Lucy Westenra becomes simplistically sex-crazed) for no good reason.

It was laughably bad. Laughably bad, I tell you.

[treibeis]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

Anything directed by Rainer Werner Fassbinder

Bit harsh, that. "Martha" was worth watching. And that one where Fassbinder himself plays some high-class bloke's bit of rough and ends up dying in a tube station is quite good, too.

[delicatemoth]

Worst films of all time....ever!!!!

I love the only Fassbinder film I've seen, though I can't remember what it's called. I liked Bridget Jones as well, though I'm the only person I know who did.

Worst films I've seen:-

The Aviator
Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou
Elizabeth
Goodfellas
Shallow Grave
Star Trek
Jurassic Park
Are You Being Served
Confessions Of A Something Or Other
Superman