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    If I had a cap, I'd doff it imp - absolutely love your blog, and your sense of humour, which has to be one of the reasons you can put up with what you do. I love football, and I love a laugh, but being insulted constantly by parents of very well-behaved young boys ("Please Ref, what did you give that for?" "Oh, OK") was more than enough for me (excuse me if I've mentioned that before, it's my age).

    Anyway, fair play to you - one of my favourite 'If only's concerns UEFA, FIFA, FA et al, actually instilling RESPECT into football, rather than it being just another empty slogan on a shirt.

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      Excellent as ever Imp, I too really enjoy your weekly 'rants', and sympathise totally with your situation, as I may have alluded to in my not-too-often ramblings on this board. As for non-qualified assistants, as well as officiating in the main league on the island, I also ref in the apparently 'social' league, for those players either too old to continue playing at the higher level, or those younger ones who can't/won't commit to thrice weekly training sessions as the so called bigger teams. This league of 9 teams is officiated by a hard-core of 5 refs, with only club linesman to assist. Three of these refs are over 60 (not me before you ask), with the other 2 40+. We turn out each week, safe in the knowledge that despite the teams knowing they need to provide a 'linesman', who invariably don't keep up with play and barely help out with balls out of play decisions, the players will still moan constantly about tight offline decisions. I love your pre-match briefing about imaginary assistants, is it OK if I borrow it? Last season, despite doing my best to man-manage the situation and calm the player down, I had to resort to a red card for the centre-half who insisted constantly the linesman was a 'cheating bastard' who didn't know offside if it came and smacked him the mouth. Despite me pointing out the obvious that the linesman he was referring to was one of his own sides' subs, he continued berating him loudly for all to hear. No accounting for stupidity some times.

      With me, it is not always the league officials themselves who don't seem to support match officials (hence the reason I 'agreed' to come onto the BFA executive), but in my experience over here it is the Referee's Association who spectacularly fail to step up to the plate. Their role, as I am used to when officiating in the UK previously, is to act as some sort of union for the referees, supporting their position to the Football Association. Sadly, that is never the case. Three years ago I refused to pay the annual membership to join the RA, much to their bemusement, as I had questioned what the fuck do they actually do and what is my annual fee for? I was subjected to some racist abuse just before this refusal to pay, which was covered in the local media, but not one person from the RA, my supposed supporters, stood up for me and denounced the situation. So bollocks to them, and I still don't pay any annual subscription.

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        Absolutely borrow the speech, BI, I'd be honoured to think it was getting international distribution. (And it's not like I could fly over with a cease-and-desist order if you used it without my permission.)

        I've only delivered it twice, and once was on Wednesday night at a Boys' U19 cup game. I'm now reffing the away team that won that game again - in the next round this coming Wednesday. So I'll have to come up with something new. Will also be interested to see if the mouthy number 10 I yellow-carded for dissent keeps his trap shut.

        Had a club linesman last weekend who flagged for offside - in favour of his team, needless to say. Ignored his flag and then asked him just to stick to line calls, please. He threw down the flag and stormed off in a huff.

        Edit add @Chopper: thanks for the kind feedback. Yeah, Respect. There was actually a 'Frankfurt Declaration' about four years back that was supposed to have been agreed to, adopted and taken on board by all the city's clubs, preaching the need for the R word. Probably gathering dust under the club secretary's porn stash.
        Last edited by imp; 28-08-2017, 13:22.

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          A Referee's Guide to Anger Management. That referee, needless to say, is me.

          Doesn't include the gobby number 3 who pointed out after the game that one of the opposition's goals should have been disallowed for offside (it wasn't), and that the ball had gone out of play before another (it hadn't, despite the insistence of the non-neutral linesman who was also a young member of the home team's entourage). I ignored him, resisting the temptation to say, "Yeah, but then you'd still have lost 3-2, so no sweat, eh?"

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            Excellent guide Imp, and one all refs should adhere to. Regarding Point 2, I have another shit anecdote on how to deal with this. Last season, on the 'less serious' of the 2 leagues I ref on, I had the same team 3 weeks in a row (which is not unusual here). First week, as you describe, big huddle on the pitch while the rest of us are waiting to go. I ask them politely to hurry up so we can start the game, no response. Second week, same scenario, I ask again and one head pops up from the huddle and gives me a 'hard stare' as if to say 'how dare you interrupt us, you poor excuse for a human being'. Third week, same again, but this time I have had enough. Other side have kick off, so as all players from the 'huddling' team are on the field of play, I blow to start the match and the team who are adhering to the spirit of the game kick off. As soon as I blow to start, the look of horror and disbelief on the huddled masses was a picture all of itself, as they scrambled desperately to get into position. Sadly (and I know I shouldn't say this as an impartial official), the other team chose not to shoot directly on the open goal, much respect to them. When the captain asked me what the hell did I think I was doing starting the game while they were holding a mass love-in, I smiled innocently, told him it was perfectly within the laws of the game, and perhaps next time he could arrange the huddle for before the coin toss and we are all waiting to start the game. My tone probably implied I actually meant 'stop whining you twat, next time get on with game, I gave you enough warnings the last 2 weeks', but he was probably too stupid and self-centered to realize that.

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              Ha ha, only just saw your post, BI. Must try that one out some time.

              This week's column examines how teams (especially youth teams) are mostly clueless when it comes to the Law on when you can take a free-kick. And so I got blamed for whistling when the defending team "wasn't ready" and conceded a goal.

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                Cautioning somebody for "ignorance" would be brilliant.

                If we meet up in Café King in Berlin and I give you a bag of change and a flatscreen telly, would you do it, just the once?

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                  Deal. Plus a month's worth of free mini-golf at your establishment.

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                    This week I heard the most inventive excuse ever for why I shouldn't have called a penalty kick.

                    There's a Dutch ref on twitter who always re-tweets my blog articles, and apparently posts them on Facebook too. He messaged me this week to alert me to a discussion that had evolved on Facebook about last week's piece on building a wall. Several of my former reffing colleagues in the US denounced the piece as BS, garbage etc. (the kind of nuanced debate we've come to expect in the Trump era) because of course you can yellow-card someone who stands in front of a ball to discourage a quick free-kick. Well, I suppose you can, and maybe in the US youth leagues no one will get exorcised about it. Try that in my leagues and you'd be asking for trouble (which I try not to do - trouble is good at coming along all on its own). First you ask them to move, and in the rare event that they don't, then you can show a yellow. In fact our German FA-issued guidelines expressly outline that you should only give a yellow card if the player makes a move to block the ball. If the taker of the free kick just kicks it straight at the opponent, then you order a re-take.

                    I was going to get in to the debate to point all this out, and then i made the wise decision not to bother.
                    Last edited by imp; 18-09-2017, 07:39.

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                      Question for you. If a team is penalised for offside, can the resulting free kick be taken inside their half?

                      Reason I ask is that yesterday Sam Vokes was penalised for offside having been inside the Palace half when a goal kick was taken but ran back into the Burnley half to head the ball. Linesman flags offside at the point Vokes was initially at.

                      But the referee allowed Palace to take the free kick about three yards inside the Burnley half. The crowd were going ballistic at the ref.

                      I understand that players steal yards and officials let them within reason. I would have thought that the correct half of the pitch was the "within reason" bit.

                      It was a bit of a weird performance in that respect from Michael Oliver. He was very lenient on where throw-ins and free kicks were taken for most of the game, before right at the end Burnley put the ball out a yard from the corner flag, the Palace player tried taking the throw in from about the 18 yard line and he told him to retake it from a better position twice. I would have thought after the second throw in from the wrong position, it should have been a foul throw and the ball given to Burnley.

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                        How could he even be penalised at all if it was a goal kick?

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                          Dunno. Pretty sure it was a goal kick. Either way Vokes definitely came in from the Palace half to head it and Palace were playing a high line, so I'm not going to disagree with the initial offside call.

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                            OK, in answer to your question, the IFK should be from where the offside offence takes place, not the offside position. From the FA's website:

                            Q3: The Law now says that the IFK for offside can be taken in the player’s own half but how can this be correct?

                            It is correct because:
                            • a player CAN NOT be in an offside POSITION in their own half
                            • a player CAN commit an offside OFFENCE in their own half if they go back into their own half from an offside position
                            With the exception of offences in the goal area, throughout the Laws every free kick is awarded from the place where the offence occurs so it is logical that this should also apply to offside.

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                              Ah! Right. Where the offence takes place. Makes sense.

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                                So, essentially, when the law changed a number of years ago it did so at a fundamental level and not just as an interpretation of when to give the offence. Basically it used to be it was illegal and a free-kick to be in an offside position, i.e. the flag would go up immediately and the whistle would follow it (assuming the ref promptly noticed his linesman). But now it isn't illegal to be in a offside position per se; it is only an offence to go for the ball if you had been in such a spot. So the foul can happen anywhere. Interesting.

                                A follow up question - where should the assistant be when flagging for the offside? Presumably he ought to be in line with where the offence takes place. But do they do that, or do they still flag in line with where the player was offside and so took herself out of the play?

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                                  Assistant Referees' Duties and Responsibilities

                                  The first action the assistant referee makes after an offside decision is to raise his (sic.) flag. He then uses his flag to indicate the area of the pitch in which the offence occurred.

                                  Comment


                                    Originally posted by Snake Plissken View Post
                                    But the referee allowed Palace to take the free kick about three yards inside the Burnley half. The crowd were going ballistic at the ref.

                                    I understand that players steal yards and officials let them within reason. I would have thought that the correct half of the pitch was the "within reason" bit.

                                    It was a bit of a weird performance in that respect from Michael Oliver. He was very lenient on where throw-ins and free kicks were taken for most of the game, before right at the end Burnley put the ball out a yard from the corner flag, the Palace player tried taking the throw in from about the 18 yard line and he told him to retake it from a better position twice. I would have thought after the second throw in from the wrong position, it should have been a foul throw and the ball given to Burnley.
                                    What? The crowd didn't know the laws? I'm shocked!

                                    Re. position on throw-ins and free-kicks - the further away from the goal you're attacking, the more liberal referees tend to be, just in the interest of game flow and not appearing like a pedantic twat. I'm surprised about throw-in re-takes, though - that's usually for very young kids when you're teaching them how to take a proper throw-in. The procedure is: warn player before throw-in that they have to move back to the spot where the ball went out. If they ignore you and take the throw-in anyway, foul throw and it goes to the other side.

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                                      I don't mind there being some leniency in the interest of letting the game flow - although with the stripes on the pitch it is pretty easy to see if a player is stealing more than six yards at a time. Oliver was definitely having a lenient day on that score. (Actually, I thought he reffed pretty well in some foul weather conditions. Unusual to see Burnley being more of the gamesmanship side rather than Palace, too. This is the game in which I finally saw the point of Andros Townsend, as he was superb.)

                                      I think the incident at the end was a case of game management where the ref can't win. With the game in the last minute of injury time, the Palace player had stolen the best part of 14 yards for his first throw-in, and about ten for the second. Handing the ball to Burnley in that situation would have seen one of those farcical keeping it in the corner incidents which gets everyones hackles up.

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                                        Every time I've noticed Michael Oliver refereeing a game I've watched, he's struck me as rubbish.

                                        Regarding throw ins, admittedly it's not stealing yards, but I think it's pretty well-established that the rules on foul throws don't apply to professional players. It's very possible I've mentioned this belief before on this thread.

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                                          It's Monday morning, folks, so it must be time for more yarns from Frankfurt's kicking fields. This week, I bump into an old friend I once got hauled in front of a disciplinary hearing. Also, how defenders still don't understand that you can't play the man at the same time as you play the ball, and a nod to Mark E Smith.

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                                            Another weekend, another tale. Yesterday I met a wise old gentleman who'd reffed for 50 years.

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                                              When this thread started Thing One was still an active match official and was getting some decent gigs running the line at County League and occasionally Northern Alliance level. However his interest was waning already, before he then got a job in a bar which involves working every Saturday and most Sundays, so he's pretty much hung up his whistle at the age of 19.

                                              However the 14 going on 15-year-old Thing Two has re-started the circle, by signing up for the refereeing course with the local FA - she's done one session already and has most of it this coming weekend, so here we go again.

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                                                WFD, may I wish her all the best with her upcoming training, let's hope she develops that thick skin that is so clearly needed to be an official these days. And all the best to you as well, as you will no doubt need to offer many shoulders to lean one when some dickhead player or club official blames her for their side losing, when clearly the main reason was they are shit.

                                                Imp - another excellent piece, and I genuinely felt joy for you when the elder statesman of refereeing offered you his congratulations, something never seen these days. At my game yesterday, I too felt the inner happiness of allowing a clear advantage, which in turn led to the away side scoring not one but two goals from such a decision. It is honestly great to know inwardly you have contributed to a good game of football by not being the power hungry, whistle happy idiot who wants to blow up immediately for every bit of contact. On the first advantage I played, the left winger drove into the penalty area whilst having his shirt blatantly pulled by the opposing full-back. I let play develop as the winger was doing his level best to stay on his feet and aim towards goal. As my whistle was winding its merry way to my lips, and I thought 'I have to blow for the penalty now, he's not going any further', the winger duly curled the ball inside the far post. Whilst this split second of play was progressing, I was being harangued by the away team captain. "He's pulling him, pen ref, come on, pen...oh, he's scored, great advantage ref...".

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                                                  Ha ha, yeah, I had something similar too for that opening goal - the player was taken out at the halfway line right in front of the home support. Both he and the few dozen fans were howling at me in outrage for not calling the foul as I waved play on. I think they stopped moaning at around the point their winger reached the end line and was about to pull the ball back for the waiting forward to finish. I don't know, maybe I should just have gone over and stood in front of them all, CR7s style, then started beating my chest and yelling, "Who's da ref here, eh? WHO'S DA FUCKIN' REF?"

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                                                    I saw a really good refereeing display in the Welsh League yesterday. Ref talked to the players, got them to calm down. Very reluctantly carded a couple that had to be carded. Also gave a pen for blatant shirt holding even though the forward didn't make a meal of it. None of the penalised team protested as it was so obvious, but I've seen refs at higher level not give them if a player stays on his feet. He also stopped play when the home number 10 took an eye wateringly well hit ball to the nads.

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