1. Dancing topless carnival girls? Come on, every other carnival in Rio features them.
2. No dull speeches about how this will be a clean and fair and blah blah blah. This shebang doesn't start until midnight, UK time.
3. Find a way (it is the digital age) of fast-tracking all the athletes in behind their flags, without needing to announce them all individually. With 207 countries, that's going to take two hours.
4. More topless dancing girls (oh, did I already suggest that?) Well, again.
5. No Pélé. Please.
2. No dull speeches about how this will be a clean and fair and blah blah blah. This shebang doesn't start until midnight, UK time.
3. Find a way (it is the digital age) of fast-tracking all the athletes in behind their flags, without needing to announce them all individually. With 207 countries, that's going to take two hours.
4. More topless dancing girls (oh, did I already suggest that?) Well, again.
5. No Pélé. Please.
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