The Greatest Own Goals Ever

[tee rex]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Here's one I prepared earlier.

The link has changed (for me anyway) from video to still, but that only adds a little intrigue. If that was the starting position, then how the hell does it happen?

[Felicity, I guess so]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

I remember scoring one in a dismal defeat on a mudbath pitch in RAF Germany, playing for the youth club.

The ball sailed over the keeper's head at slow pace, I ran back to hoof it clear, missed completely and it went in off my standing leg.

Clearly not one of the greatest ever, but I still remember the complete bemusement, the 'how the hell did that happen?'.

My post-facto explanation is that, like having too much time with an easy drop-shot at the net in tennis, my tired brain couldn't cope.

[RobM]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Janik wrote: We have obviously done this before, but even so it's worth resurrecting some favourites.

Chris Brass

https://[video=youtube_share;yo8FANX...?v=yo8FANX7o9U[/video]

Genius.

[Kevin S]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Yeah, there's never a bad time to see that one.

[Bored Of Education]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Yeah, that is hilarious.

[Giggler]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

RobM wrote:

We have obviously done this before, but even so it's worth resurrecting some favourites.

Chris Brass

https://[video=youtube_share;yo8FANX...?v=yo8FANX7o9U[/video]

Genius.

I wrote something for the magazine's 'I Was There' feature because... well, I was there in the away end behind the goal to see that. I'm not sure the editorial team are going to run it, so I'll make sure they don't run it by repeating it here below:

- - - - - - - - - -

Reduced to the shorthand of the YouTube comments section, Chris Brass’s own goal scored for Darlington against Bury in April 2006 can be summed up as “LOL he hit the ball in his face FAIL.” But such flippancy masks what could have been an ignominious end to Bury’s Football League career.

After a couple of seasons milling around mid-table of the basement, the Shakers slipped perilously close to the trapdoor into the Conference as the 2005/06 campaign progressed. By the time they arrived at George Reynolds’s white elephant on the outskirts of Darlington, relegation from the league looked a very real possibility and a win was imperative.

Darlo were harbouring play-off ambitions and it came as no surprise that they started the game more brightly than the visitors. Early pressure came to nothing until a high ball, which looked like simplicity itself for Brass to deal with, was pumped into the box. Connecting, in an effort to hook the ball over his shoulder, the experienced defender who would go on to be Bury’s caretaker manager only succeeded in smashing the ball into his face.

The ricochet wasn’t at all forceful but the element of surprise caught Bury’s on-loan goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel off guard and the ball trickled past him. To the left of the away end were the bulk of Darlington’s fans who couldn’t quite believe what they’d seen. To the right was a big screen. All eyes turned to it for confirmation of the events, which came with a grim realisation that this was to be it; one hundred and twelve years of proud history were to be boiled down to a comedy own goal that wouldn’t have been out of place sped up and soundtracked by Yakkety Sax.

Brass’s disconsolate walk back to the centre circle saw him not-unreasonably pinching at what must have been an incredibly sore nose but the travelling fans were roused and took the bull by the horns. Showing a tenacity that had rarely been present across the preceding eight months, Bury set about the task in hand with relish. Captain (and now-manager) David Flitcroft scored a stunning half volley that would be voted goal of the season before Darlington re-took the lead. The much-derided Brian Barry-Murphy drew Bury level with a terrific, curling set piece before a sustained spell of pressure in stoppage time brought a corner at our end. The tension was unbearable.

The ball came over and fell directly at the feet of striker Matthew Tipton, one of those players who had scored goals wherever he’d gone except Bury and who had scored last minute heartbreakers for two other clubs against the Shakers in the past. He had nothing more to do than tap it past a static Sam Russell, who he was standing next to, which he managed with ease.

Pandemonium ensued in the form of a ‘limbs everywhere’ tumble down to the perimeter wall to a Tipton who had by now abandoned his shirt. They were to be purple-faced celebrations which lasted well beyond the final whistle that followed seconds later, at which Chris Casper and the entire Bury bench came over to the away end with faces contorted in a similar relief.

Cars crawled off the car park at Reynolds’ folly blaring their horns in a manner more in keeping with the Champs-Elysees after France’s 1998 World Cup win. It was to be a joyous trip home down the A1 (M) but the nervousness hadn’t entirely disintegrated as safety was by no means assured.

Bury went in to the last game of the season at Notts County as one of several teams who could still have gone down, as could the hosts. Both teams settled for a point but, as it was, events at the Kassam Stadium meant that Oxford were relegated in place of either. Once a remarkably good-natured pitch invasion had disintegrated and the County fans’ last rendition of “We’re staying up with the Bury” had ended, I got drunk in a pub next to the Trent and caught the last train back to Manchester.

As relieved fans sang songs dedicated to players from years ago in a pure celebration of what it is to support Bury, I could finally just about see the funny side of the goal that would be a Soccer AM staple and which, when Sue Barker asked as she inevitably would do, I could describe in minute detail exactly what happened next.

[Sam]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

The thing with the Chris Brass one is that even ten years later and with it being perhaps the most famous own goal in English footballing history (ooh, there's a discussion...), even when we all know exactly what's about to happen and (I'm sure) feel sorry for the poor man, it's still physically impossible not to burst out laughing when watching it. I'm sure even Chris Brass finds it hilarious, these days.

Okay, maybe not.

[colinwasp]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Start at 1:10

Not quite sure how Mick Bodley managed to do this. Less said about the final score the better.....

[nmrfox]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

One to make the Shrewsbury contingent on here weep. Steve Biggins FA Cup Quarter Final 06/03/82. Leicester City 5 Shrewsbury Town 2 in probably the best game I've ever been too.

Can someone post a link please as I'm at work and such things are banned (I'm still amazed I can post on here tbh).

[Borracho]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

with it being perhaps the most famous own goal in English footballing history

That's a big claim. I'd never heard of it, or Chris Brass, until a few seconds ago.

Off the top of my head:

* Brian Gayle handing Leeds the title in 1992 with a soaraway header into his own net

* Peter Enckelman in the Birmingham derby

* Ronnie Whelan from 40 yards at Old Trafford

* Djimi Traore at Burnley

* Jamie Pollock v QPR (the one that sent Man City down)

* Lee Dixon v Coventry

[colinwasp]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

My only appearance in a film (by proxy) is in 'Mike Bassett: England Manager" as I attended the Torquay v Barnet game that was used for the archive footage of Bassett's career. It showed an own goal scored by a Bees defender (Newsom or Walker I think) akin to the aforementioned Ullathorne/Gunn combo.

[Bootleg Mark Chapman]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Borracho wrote:

* Ronnie Whelan from 40 yards at Old Trafford

When I saw this thread, That was the one that sprang to my mind. I though he was miles out too. Turns out he wasn't that far outside his own box:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQbyOjIrAIY

[evilC]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Bernard Parker's bullet of a header for - or, rather, against - South Africa when facing Ethiopia.

(edit: Skip past the ensuing melee footage to see it in full slow motion glory from just after 40''.)

[evilC]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Jonathan Silva smashing a volley almost from out of his own goalie's hands into the back of Boca's net.

[Kevin S]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Glenn Keeley in the Tyne–Tees derby.
https://[video=youtube_share;A5Tn_Mv...?v=A5Tn_MvoP2k[/video]

[Kevin S]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Sandy Brown in the Merseyside derby
https://[video=youtube_share;5sy6JLT...?v=5sy6JLTYUgg[/video]

[Kevin S]

The Greatest Own Goals Ever

Two Edinburgh derby own goals for the price of one here, Hibeestyle.
https://[video=youtube_share;El9gWOG...?v=El9gWOGQMjA[/video]