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    Knowing everything about something or ...

    knowing something about everything.

    I know a lot of experts. People who've dedicated their entire lives to being family lawyers, or system architects, or car mechanics, and know more about their specialist subject than seems possible.

    I'm not a specialist in anything, really, apart from having worked alongside a lot of them and picked an awful lot up, over the twenty years or so I've been pretending to be employed. I might not be able to command a specialist's salary, but I'm fucking good at pub quizzes.

    So this is my submission to the FA to be the next manager. Although it might be along the right lines. 4-4-2, isn't it, hmm? And maybe your two men are one big lad and one nippy lad in the hole. Keegan and Toshack. Jumpers for goalposts.

    And for fuck's sake have a lad who can actually get the ball onto the heads of our players in the box from corners and free kicks. Gerrard couldn't fucking do that, and neither can Milner, or Kane (although why Kane was given that in the first bloody place mystifies me now).

    And at the back, for God's sake pick a keeper who knows what he's doing. That would be a start. And then some defenders who can, you know, just hold a fucking line. Like Leicester City did every time they lost the ball.

    None of this seems difficult. I await the letter from Soho Square.

    #2
    Knowing everything about something or ...

    Whenever we get assertions from pundits that the public can't criticise because they never played the game professionally, I think 'Yeah, but we have watched it' and usually from height and distance so we can see a lot more of what's going on compared to the guy in the box trying to unshirt an opponent while a corner is taken.

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