Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Bears that don't speak English

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #26
    Bears that don't speak English

    So how would a French person try to dissuade a bear from eating their kayak?

    Comment


      #27
      Bears that don't speak English

      The bit in Bare Necessities where Baloo bumps the tree with his bum is still one of the most erotic moments in cinema.

      Comment


        #28
        Bears that don't speak English

        MsD wrote: So how would a French person try to dissuade a bear from eating their kayak?
        As you can tell by that album cover, bears are revered as proxy parental figures in France. If a bear is seen trying to eat a kayak his wisdom is not supposed to be questioned.

        Comment


          #29
          Bears that don't speak English

          I wasn't for questioning the wisdom of the bear to start with, really. I might ask him once if he was sure, but would leave it.

          Comment


            #30
            Bears that don't speak English

            Why is Little Brown Bear buying the bread in the first place?
            Can't he just take it - HE'S A FUCKING BEAR!

            Comment


              #31
              Bears that don't speak English

              How come Paddington spoke such good English seeing as he was Peruvian and all?

              Comment


                #32
                Bears that don't speak English

                You guys know that France has a wild bear population, right? Everyone in France* thinks that they are so adorable and cool, and they all have cute names and celebrity godparents and stuff. It's pretty weird.

                *except for Pyrenean farmers, who aren't entirely happy with the bears [strike]stealing their honey[/strike] eating their livestock.

                Comment


                  #33
                  Bears that don't speak English

                  san2sboro wrote: How come Paddington spoke such good English seeing as he was Peruvian and all?

                  Comment


                    #34
                    Bears that don't speak English

                    Why is Little Brown Bear buying the bread in the first place?
                    Can't he just take it - HE'S A FUCKING BEAR!
                    And who thought this act worthy of an entire book?

                    Actually, scrub that - a bear entering into any kind of business transaction would likely have something of a story behind it. (Especially with said ursine having put on clothes and all.)

                    So how would a French person try to dissuade a bear from eating their kayak?
                    There'll be a phrasebook out there that has that on page one, I shouldn't wonder.

                    Comment


                      #35
                      Bears that don't speak English

                      Jah Womble wrote:
                      Why is Little Brown Bear buying the bread in the first place?
                      Can't he just take it - HE'S A FUCKING BEAR!
                      And who thought this act worthy of an entire book?
                      It's one of the more action-packed stories in the series. Others include:

                      Petit Ours brun se promène (goes for a walk);
                      Petit Ours brun mange une glace (eats an ice cream);
                      Petit Ours brun joue dans l'escalier (plays on the stairs);
                      and an early glimpse at burlesque:
                      Petit Ours brun se déshabille.

                      Comment


                        #36
                        Bears that don't speak English

                        laverte wrote:
                        Petit Ours brun joue dans l'escalier (plays on the stairs)
                        Careful with that, Petit Ours; you don't want to play on the stairs without Papa Ours' supervision!

                        Comment


                          #37
                          Bears that don't speak English

                          I wrote some adventure stories starring my cat, and they were very well-received, especially the one where he joined the fire service. He overcame the sneery condescension of his work colleagues, to be cheered to fhe rafters when he was presented with his award for bravery.

                          Stories like that inspire us.

                          Comment


                            #38
                            Bears that don't speak English

                            If anyone rubbishes my cat story, be aware you're treading on my dreams, and my cats'.

                            Comment


                              #39
                              Bears that don't speak English

                              MsD wrote: to be cheered to the rafters when he was presented with his award for bravery.
                              Did he rescue firemen who'd got stuck up trees?

                              Comment


                                #40
                                Bears that don't speak English

                                MsD wrote: If anyone rubbishes my cat story, be aware you're treading on my dreams, and my cats'.
                                I was going to say that your post read like a card from Would I lie to you?, and that my guess was TRUE.

                                When I was about 11, I wrote a story about me (as Mum) and the blanket I slept with (as my daughter) having an accident on a waterslide. Blanket saved me from drowning. It was a bit schmaltzy, I'm afraid to say.

                                Comment


                                  #41
                                  Bears that don't speak English

                                  laverte wrote:
                                  Originally posted by MsD
                                  If anyone rubbishes my cat story, be aware you're treading on my dreams, and my cats'.
                                  When I was about 11, I wrote a story about me (as Mum) and the blanket I slept with (as my daughter) having an accident on a waterslide. Blanket saved me from drowning. It was a bit schmaltzy, I'm afraid to say.
                                  Sorry, that's just fucked up.

                                  Comment


                                    #42
                                    Bears that don't speak English

                                    treibeis wrote:
                                    Originally posted by MsD
                                    to be cheered to the rafters when he was presented with his award for bravery.
                                    Did he rescue firemen who'd got stuck up trees?
                                    No, but when fire broke out in Clipton Pet Shop, he rescued all the little mice by carrying them out in his mouth one by one.

                                    He went back, against advice, to rescue Luigi the guinea-pig, who backed himself into the corner of his cage and spat out his words. "Mia mamma died at the paws of a CAT. I swear on her memory I will never let a cat come near me, never ever."

                                    "I'm sorry for your loss, sir" said Billy the Firecat, respectfully. "But I'm here to show you that not all cats are the same."

                                    To cut a long story short ..... when Billy collected his medal, Luigi and his minders were at the front of the hall, the light glinting off their little gold cuff links and Luigi's gold tooth as they clapped and stamped and cheered.

                                    All the Firefighters agreed that letting a cat join the Fire Service was not "political correctness gone mad", but the best decision Clipton had seen. "The first round's on you, mate!" shouted Big Alan, and he lifted Billy onto his shoulder and carried him into The Rose and Crown.

                                    THE END

                                    The adventures of Blanket sound fucking hilarious.

                                    Comment


                                      #43
                                      Bears that don't speak English

                                      Petit Ours brun se déshabille
                                      Yikes - and I was being flippant back there...

                                      No, but when fire broke out in Clipton Pet Shop, he rescued all the little mice by carrying them out in his mouth one by one.
                                      "Hold on a second, where's Ronald?"

                                      "BURRRRRPP!"

                                      Comment


                                        #44
                                        Bears that don't speak English

                                        That's the sort of unhelpful prejudice he had to fight against all the time.

                                        Comment


                                          #45
                                          Bears that don't speak English

                                          Haha. I was going to say that Firecat fanfic would be all about the "to eat or not to eat" tension between Billy and Luigi. Twilight for furries.

                                          Comment


                                            #46
                                            Bears that don't speak English

                                            That's the sort of unhelpful prejudice he had to fight against all the time.
                                            Oh, no prejudice here - I'll always be 'pro-cat'.

                                            Comment


                                              #47
                                              Bears that don't speak English

                                              laverte wrote: Haha. I was going to say that Firecat fanfic would be all about the "to eat or not to eat" tension between Billy and Luigi. Twilight for furries.
                                              I'm liking that up-to-date take on it.

                                              Comment


                                                #48
                                                Bears that don't speak English

                                                MsD wrote:
                                                Originally posted by treibeis
                                                Originally posted by MsD
                                                to be cheered to the rafters when he was presented with his award for bravery.
                                                Did he rescue firemen who'd got stuck up trees?
                                                No, but when fire broke out in Clipton Pet Shop, he rescued all the little mice by carrying them out in his mouth one by one.

                                                He went back, against advice, to rescue Luigi the guinea-pig, who backed himself into the corner of his cage and spat out his words. "Mia mamma died at the paws of a CAT. I swear on her memory I will never let a cat come near me, never ever."

                                                "I'm sorry for your loss, sir" said Billy the Firecat, respectfully. "But I'm here to show you that not all cats are the same."

                                                To cut a long story short ..... when Billy collected his medal, Luigi and his minders were at the front of the hall, the light glinting off their little gold cuff links and Luigi's gold tooth as they clapped and stamped and cheered.

                                                All the Firefighters agreed that letting a cat join the Fire Service was not "political correctness gone mad", but the best decision Clipton had seen. "The first round's on you, mate!" shouted Big Alan, and he lifted Billy onto his shoulder and carried him into The Rose and Crown.

                                                THE END
                                                I don't know about anyone else, but I'm in bits here.

                                                Comment


                                                  #49
                                                  Bears that don't speak English

                                                  in the fourth billy the firecat story, do the arson investigators start to suspect that Billy is setting the fires, on the grounds that a disturbingly large number of fires are set by firemen, and true to his cat nature, Billy gets a perfect score on the Psychopath test?

                                                  Comment


                                                    #50
                                                    Bears that don't speak English

                                                    Cal Alamein wrote: I was living in rural Alaska at the time. Props to the Grizzly Man for his morals and all, but shoulda left the beast the hell alone.
                                                    yes, but as the movie kind of made very clear, he was completely and utterly batshit insane.

                                                    Comment

                                                    Working...
                                                    X