Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

[Guy Profumo]

http://www.thestar.co.uk/news/crime/police-hunt-eyam-broom-snapper-1-7377948

[WOM]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

I'm, for mundane reasons, a member of a FB group for the community I grew up in (where my mom still lives, but I no longer do). The group is populated by (mostly) women who post things like "BOLO [be on look-out] for two teenage boys who tipped over some garden furniture on (Street Name)" and "Stolen. Child's plastic baseball bat and ball. WHAT"S HAPPENING WITH CRIME IN THIS PLACE???" Followed by frantic lamentations by past residents saying things like "Glad we got out when we did. MUCH safer up here in (insert rural town name)." I stay a member just to punish myself, I'm convinced.

[Guy Profumo]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

WOM wrote: I'm, for mundane reasons, a member of a FB group for the community I grew up in (where my mom still lives, but I no longer do). The group is populated by (mostly) women who post things like "BOLO [be on look-out] for two teenage boys who tipped over some garden furniture on (Street Name)" and "Stolen. Child's plastic baseball bat and ball. WHAT"S HAPPENING WITH CRIME IN THIS PLACE???" Followed by frantic lamentations by past residents saying things like "Glad we got out when we did. MUCH safer up here in (insert rural town name)." I stay a member just to punish myself, I'm convinced.

And the local police just [strike]sweep[/strike] brush it all under the carpet…

[Kevin S]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

Looks like they made a clean getaway.

[Gangster Octopus]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

Apt reporter, too.

[Kevin S]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

Hang on..... the story is written by Michael Broomhead?

(Ed - GO spotted it first)

[Guy Profumo]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

Kevchenko wrote: Looks like they made a clean getaway.

Unless you think it could be someone local?

[Guy Profumo]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

Mayor endorses new PCC candidate

"Together, we will clean up the area"

[MsD]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

I like the comments. "This story made me bristle."

[Jah Womble]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

Overweight local witch currently helping police with their inquiries.

"Stolen. Child's plastic baseball bat and ball. WHAT"S HAPPENING WITH CRIME IN THIS PLACE???"

This sounds like something that my ex would've come up with. (Generally followed-up two days later with: "Oh, that? It turned up in the garage under some magazines...")

[Janik]

Crime wave sweeps through rural Derbyshire

My parents were sure someone had come into their garden and stolen an ornamental stone frog from off their rockery. When quizzed on why someone would take that, and only that, out of their garden, they shrugged their shoulders and said something along the lines of 'well, someone has'.

A couple of years later the pond next to the rockery was given a full clean out. The frog was suddenly visible, presumably knocked in by a cat or something. Which must have taken a very significant bump, as it's a noticeably heavy item and wasn't sitting on the edge of the pond either.

They didn't report the 'theft' to the police though. Or to Facebook, either. Good job.