Favourite board games
Hah! At least I'm consistent. If somewhat calmer than I was...
Gangster Octopus wrote: A couple of weeks ago...
The only thing worse than playing board games is playing cards.
I have bad dreams about smashing people's heads into tables repeatedly while screaming at them it's a fucking boat, it's a fucking boat" when they fail to recognise a beautifully-drawn Pictionary item that they think looks like a hat.
The only board game I've ever enjoyed is the Game of Life. And only then because it only lasted 20 minutes and you got yachts and stuff.
The worst board game in the world though, is Trivial Pursuit. I hate Triv more than I can say. It's not that I'm no good at it (although I am scarred by the memory of my father beating me at it when I was twelve. I mean, twelve? How the hell was I supposed to know who was Prime- Minister of Burundi in 1970 for feck's sake?!)
It's more the total killing rage that washes over me when people call those triangle-things "cheeses." AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
For this reason I have invented altternative rules.
Anyone who suggests playing Triv - administer one good punch in the face
Anyone who agrees - administer good punches in the face
Anyone who sits down to play - Administer the sort of beating you only ever see in the news. Then divide the game-board into the same number of pieces as contestants, insert them into the bodily cavity of your choice and suggest calmly that everyone settles down and watches the snooker.
Did I mention that I really hate board games?
I have bad dreams about smashing people's heads into tables repeatedly while screaming at them it's a fucking boat, it's a fucking boat" when they fail to recognise a beautifully-drawn Pictionary item that they think looks like a hat.
The only board game I've ever enjoyed is the Game of Life. And only then because it only lasted 20 minutes and you got yachts and stuff.
The worst board game in the world though, is Trivial Pursuit. I hate Triv more than I can say. It's not that I'm no good at it (although I am scarred by the memory of my father beating me at it when I was twelve. I mean, twelve? How the hell was I supposed to know who was Prime- Minister of Burundi in 1970 for feck's sake?!)
It's more the total killing rage that washes over me when people call those triangle-things "cheeses." AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
For this reason I have invented altternative rules.
Anyone who suggests playing Triv - administer one good punch in the face
Anyone who agrees - administer good punches in the face
Anyone who sits down to play - Administer the sort of beating you only ever see in the news. Then divide the game-board into the same number of pieces as contestants, insert them into the bodily cavity of your choice and suggest calmly that everyone settles down and watches the snooker.
Did I mention that I really hate board games?
Comment