Australia

[treibeis]

Australia

But to be honest the only times I have seen Redbacks, they haven't moved

Yes, but they're still there. Crocodiles don't move that much either, but if I ran into one while out for a stroll in the park, I'd still shit myself inside-out and never go there again.

[Sits]

Australia

Oh I would too. I'm seriously scared of those bastards. But they are in certain places, in certain parts of the country. You know when there's a croc risk in a certain place. You just don't expose yourself to that risk.

[ad hoc]

Australia

From what people told me when I was up in Cairns (where there are a few hanging around in muddy bits o rivers) they never go for people but they often take people's dogs. So seems to me the way to be sure of avoiding danger vis-a-vis crocodiles is to have a dog.

[treibeis]

Australia

You know when there's a croc risk in a certain place. You just don't expose yourself to that risk.

You know that. As an idiot tourist, I wouldn't have the foggiest.

In my imagination, there are Redbacks lurking under the lavatory seats at the Sydney Opera House, crocodiles resident in Bob Hawke's potting shed and horrible brightly-coloured little bastards with nine legs that can kill you just by looking in your direction in Nicole Kidman's vanity case.

And, as ad hoc just mentioned, if you go out for a walk with your dog in Cairns, you end up taking it home in a bucket. No, definitely not for me.

[gavc23]

Australia

Toby Gymshorts wrote: Erm......Nick Cave, as a remarkably obvious and straightforward one straight off the top of my head.

Men at Work?

The current Tigertailz singer is Australian. Which is about as good of a guarantee of quality as you can get. Their last single was about shoe collecting.

[ad hoc]

Australia

Isn't the girl who sings "I'm so fancy" Australian?

(I presume she has a name and that song may not be called that, but if you've turned on a radio or a music channel in the last 2 months I am quite sure you will all know what I'm talking about)

[Felicity, I guess so]

Australia

No-one's mentioned The Go Betweens or The Triffids or The Saints or The Laughing Clowns (or Ed Kuepper's solo stuff).

All great stuff.

[EIM]

Australia

I know you said not to, but here's a picture of a 6' spider.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Australia

I used to play football with a bloke whose nickname was 'Spider'. Never found out why.

[Felicity, I guess so]

Australia

A whole team of Spiders:



Queen's Park F.C. c1890s, in case ye didnae ken

[Sits]

Australia

treibeis wrote: You know when there's a croc risk in a certain place. You just don't expose yourself to that risk.

You know that. As an idiot tourist, I wouldn't have the foggiest.

These will probably help:

[treibeis]

Australia

Toby Gymshorts wrote: I used to play football with a bloke whose nickname was 'Spider'. Never found out why.

One of my former team-mates was nicknamed "Strap-On". I never found out why, and I'm not sure I really wanted to.

[hobbes]

Australia

Toby Gymshorts wrote: I used to play football with a bloke whose nickname was 'Spider'. Never found out why.

Was his real name Mark?

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

Australia

treibeis wrote:

So, no, like Toby Gymshorts, I won't be going. I'm too scared.

Erm......what? I mean, you're right, but it was TonTon who mentioned it. Or is this from my references to spiders on threads passim?

Ah, apologies to both of you for not being able to read properly.

I'm not surprised

[Toby Gymshorts]

Australia

hobbes wrote:

I used to play football with a bloke whose nickname was 'Spider'. Never found out why.

Was his real name Mark?

I genuinely have no idea. His name was Spider as far as I was concerned. He used to turn up 5 minutes before kick off, play, and then leave again.

[Vicarious Thrillseeker]

Australia

treibeis wrote: Nicole Kidman's vanity case.

Euphemism overload.

[hobbes]

Australia

I wonder if if was my mate (well more mate of a mate) Spider. Tallish, darkish hair, permanent sneer?

[Toby Gymshorts]

Australia

Shortish, dark hair, permanently bemused expression, like he'd just got up.

I'd venture they weren't the same guy.

[meregreen]

Australia

Yes, as others have said, far too far away, far too hot, and i'm tempted to say, full of Australians. I've got nothing against them really but the ones I've met always seem so Californian in their outlook. Relentlessly positive with their healthy outdoorsy way of life. It makes me think they're intellectually incurious, as if a bit of sun is all you need to be happy, Also, why do they always wear flip flops and shorts - even when it's freezing? Give me cold, grey European cynicism any time.

And yes, parts of it look ok, but I can't imagine that they eclipse the great cities of Europe, which have the added virtue of not being monocultural.

Also, whenever you wonder about a forgotten comedian or entertainer who you assume is dead, you frequently read that they're still massive in Australia. It's like culturally they're about 30 years behind. I'd imagine turning on the telly and I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here would be on, only presented by Cannon and Ball, and set in London.

Forget the spiders, what about the snakes and sharks and other venomous things that stalk Australia.

All the above is based on no knowledge whatsoever and stems from a profound ignorance/prejudice.

The only place on that side of the world I have any desire to visit is Japan. Mainly because it has an otherworldly quality and I kind of imagine it would be like living in Bladerunner. I'd suffer the perils of long haul for that, but for a better, hotter version of Britain, nah.

[hobbes]

Australia

Snakes and sharks have the common decency to stay out of cities, generally.

[Calvert]

Australia

And in return we should have the good sense to stay out of the oceans. A lot of sea creatures have made it more than clear that we're not welcome.

Apologies if it's already been mentioned but I can't help equating the phrase Australian culture with a certain Barry Humphries character.

[Gangster Octopus]

Australia

I've been to Australia once; the sensible way. ie. via Vancouver on the way there and Singapore on the way back.

We stayed in Sydney, Uluru, Alice Springs, Cairns and Port Douglas; exploring a bit from Cairns and Port Douglas. The place was fine. The food good. The beer (Cascade) good. The beer (not Cascade) less good.

Dubious fauna spotted: none.

[ursus arctos]

Australia

Croats in Australia seem especially crazy. As if we're not crazy enough overall they add a notch. If I've met looney nationalistic get-real-idiot-it's-not-world war 2-anymore-morons here, they seem nationalistic in a "special" way. Like some inferiority complex because they're so far away from the old country.

PPV, this is also true of a considerable number of working class Croats (and Serbs) of that generation who emigrated to Canada or the US.

I used to know a guy who was a senior agent in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Before 9/11, he had spent his career trying to stop Yugoslavs from Detroit and nearby Ontario from blowing each other up (with less than complete success). He found the Islamists he was tracking after 9/11 to be much more rational and well-balanced.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Australia

Carnivorous Vulgaris wrote:

You know when there's a croc risk in a certain place. You just don't expose yourself to that risk.

I've been reliably informed that one can be acutely aware of the presence of crocodiles from some distance on account of their repulsive, nostril-searing stench.

That's me buggered, then.

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

Australia

hobbes wrote: Snakes and sharks have the common decency to stay out of cities, generally.

All of this talk about animals and long haul flights gave me and idea for a movie script.

Sharks on a plane.

Don't you dare go steal it now.