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[Gerontophile]

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Woman. Flute. Flowing dress. Probably lovely. Not watching.

Next:

15:Romania. (sorry about the punctuation, but I am getting tired. AND dont think for one iota, that I will be ignoring the big 6...)

[Gerontophile]

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I should point out, this is the last of the second semi. heh.

[Gerontophile]

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Olly Murs.

(It isnt. Might as well be. With a dose of ... oh fuck off. A million times previously, a million times again. Mis-beats, but bad. Female semi-superflous. Then you realise she has a voice. And think... well about the recipe for dauphinoise potatoes, and how to pronounce it.

No.

I dont care how many mis-beats and a key change..... Actually. She just hit 'Lapponia territory'. Still an average song.

Bite my shorts.

[Gerontophile]

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There will be a short break whilst I adjust my underwear, and pretend that I live on Mars.

x

[Gerontophile]

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Obviously, there is no-one reading this, but I hope anyone who falls on this thread (like a sword) knows that I love Eurovision. I do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI78Bqp6z6g

The above, is in my top 5 songs of all time.

X (Pass me the gin, Maroushka... oh, didnt I mention? Russians can get anywhere, with cash.) BRB

[Gerontophile]

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OK.

That was your starter for 31. A veritable 'Stop The Bus' if you will (card fans.)

Now, are the auto 6. The 6 auto. (I have heard the UK version, as soon as I realised this shit was happening this early (yes, Rogs, sorry. I should be back in my fucking coffin. I dunno, these pushy queens)...

OK. First up Denmark.

[Gerontophile]

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OFFS.

Think of that song where that guy sang his heart out for the girl under the ... something or other.

This is fucking awful.

(Sounds like that song 'Fuck You' without the good bits. Yes, I hear you. No good bits.)

[Gerontophile]

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Next up: Germany. (No preconceptions, remember?)

Carmel: meet Banderas.

Thank you Germany. This is fucking superb. Different, as always.

[Gerontophile]

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Of course, none of them could hold a tune in a bucket, but its a good song.

[Gerontophile]

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Really good.

x

[Gerontophile]

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Nest is the fecking UK, and I cannnnnnnnnnnnnn

OK. UK next.

[Gerontophile]

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19 seconds. That wasnt bad.

Next is France. (Check out Sebastien Tellier's new album, available wherever you can be fucking bothered, and I get bastarding nothing.)

[Gerontophile]

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Wonderful Eurotrash.

I like it. I suspect that more will really not.

The song is called 'Moustache' The video is ... Mike Flowers Pops, cartoon.

Nah.

[Gerontophile]

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Spain next (how the fuck did Spain get a free pass? And Italy after this. What the fuck d...)

Spain:

[Gerontophile]

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No.

Seriously. Lead me on, then stay exactly the same. NO.

Next, and finally:

[Gerontophile]

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Italy:

Rip off, of the Cardigans. yes, that one.

Va Vongole, or whatever. Fuck off.

That concludes the points of the selfish bitch jury.

I now return you to the arts.

(Sorry, I didnt link. Think of the children... x)

[Gerontophile]

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I can see a 3way fight between Russia (who really, REALLY want this), Austria (wait and see), and Georgia (Off the fucking chart. You thought Brainstorm were outre? )

Oh, and Germany.

This will not end well.

There will be blood.

See you next tuesday. x

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

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They're off!

[Diable Rouge]

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And this guy's the odds-on tip to win?

[Diable Rouge]

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2014's Moldovan granny.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

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Latvia's song is called "Bake a Cake".

It might not win but it's so catchy I can see it being a summer hit in the Mediterranean clubs.

[Jupp04]

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Iceland hired ZZ Top as background singers

[Diable Rouge]

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Ah, Kasper, it's not like you needed the money?

[Diable Rouge]

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Evidently Tina Arena's still popular in Albania.

[Jupp04]

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... and suddenly Putin will invade the stage