WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

[Gerontophile]

It's back.

This week.

Tuesday, Thursday, and finally, Saturday.

I have about 90 minutes right now, to mention most of the songs, except the UK entry, which is beyond parody.

If all are fine with this, I will empty my bowels, and stomach, and push on, in alphabetical order (with no cut and paste... I didn't know this shit was going DOWN, until I arose from my bed to realise that too many coffees actually make me tired.)

I digress. I will get as far as I can (with links), so YOU don't have to.

(I might not be here for the semis, but will have a large one for the finale. oh, and x)

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Before you kick on with the acts, what's with them moving it forward a week? We were in Copenhagen a few weeks ago and all the posters were up delaring it to be on May 17th, now it's on the 10th?

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Sorry, quick change of plan:

http://www.eurovision.tv/page/history/by-year/contest?event=1883

(they go on in order automatically)

Semi 1:

1 is Latvia. (I do not suspect a Brainstorm.)
Lonely guitarist...oh fuck, same mentalism as Brainstorm singer, this could go far...

Watch this one. I can see this one going far.

Contestant 2: Armenia (there are 16 in this. I will try to cope.)
Muzut Ozil sings a sad song. (Drummer boys) Maybe Jeff Goldblum, not sure, but I am not alone. (Decent song... crescendo coming about... NOW.

Tim Curry does Glenn Medieros.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Sorry, Rog's: the gods of tat only wake me up when it happens.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

3: Estonia.

The sun is set, a lonely female voice is about to saing (sic) about something... but she is wearing 'Kylie' shorts, so I suspect.... (song is called 'Amazing')

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

I should point out, that she has a massive pair of lungs. I haven't heard her sing yet. Estonia: douze points.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

EURODISCO! GAY DANCER YES.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

At some point during this live performance, she will do a horizontal splits.

That is all.

(Remember folks, I can do a horizontal splits, but I dont have beautiful tits or a wonderful ass. Estonia, I love you. Although, drop H from steps.)

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Number 4: Sweden. Now, I have heard nothing about this, which means nothing, as I have been dead for 11 months and 4 weeks.)

Here goes...

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Nice singer... shitty song. (I wish they would sing in their own language occasionally.)

(Not watching the video... it's one of 'those', usually from Malta, or somewhere who dont give a fuck about it. Are Sweden skint? Crap.) Song is about lost love, just for a change. (At least it isnt the UK entry...oh nice key change, not enough.) AND she has a vibrato on the high notes, not cool.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

5 is Iceland.

(Deep breath...)

Think Supergrass.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

But... its a song about prejudice, which smashes you, and then you look at these twats, and then you hear that fucking bassline, and realise, there isnt a god, there is a bassline.

This is shit/magnificent. (Ignore the vocal, and the look, not cool)

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Dont talk about gay prejudice HERE man!

Oh wait, its the anti gay prejudice song.

(FANTASTIC bass riff.)

But rather annoying.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Sorry, back to the arts.

6 is Albania.

oh... there is a very early 70's singer who would be proud of this. I like this. (Not watching the video.) FUCK. She is a fox. (She keeps singing 'think twice' which alwys diverts me)

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

RAWK ENDING!

GOOD STUFF ALBANIE!

NICE.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Quick pause to recap, and adjust my caps lock, which wasn't on.

(Russia is next, and I have to be objective.)

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

No comment, other than this will win.

I will say no more. You MUST see and hear it for yourself.

Encroyable. Funny how the words happen to match... anyway, twins.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

8: Azerbaijan. (Follow that!)

Nigella sings.

(The whole lot seem more professional this year, from dare I say it, Eastern Europe? Is there a Portugal 75 going on? Hope not.)

Dont care for it. (Song is called 'Start a fire'.)

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

9: Ukraine.

Video wise, it is Mel and Kim.

song hasnt started yet...

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Oh my.

Filthbag of the evening.

(Eurodisco, crap words, but like Portugal 75, it is called 'tick tock'. ... it isnt.)

Very strange, I am reading shit into stuff that isnt there, politically... decent song, I can just imagine how this is going to work in Copenhagen.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

10: Belgium.

Ah, away from politics. Lets see...

NOOOOOOOOO

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

Large gentleman with a song called 'mother' in a high pitched voice. Not quite ready for that, will wait for the live version.

Next:

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

11: Ah, lovely (wherethefuckis) Moldova:

WOW, this years mentalism.

SHE CAN (cant get the font big enough, or her range) SING.

Looked at the video: think Bonnie Tyler with opera. Stupid/stupendous.

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

12: (nearly there) San Marino.

Possibilities here...

Sounds like 'Viva La Diva' slowed down.

Next...

[Gerontophile]

WONDERFUL WONDERFUL, COPENHAGEN

13: Portugal:

Kitchen sink alert.

Seriously. Bye bye. Oh and kill that fucking rainbow shirted drummer. (Portugal are sensible, they dont want to win. They cant afford to win.)

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