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    #51
    Mascots observing minutes silences

    Jimmy Bignutz wrote: Nobody fought for this.

    That one properly had me in stitches.

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      #52
      Mascots observing minutes silences

      F*ck racism, I'm a lion!

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        #53
        Mascots observing minutes silences

        Jimmy Bignutz wrote: Nobody fought for this.

        Though some may well die laughing at it.

        Thank you, Jimmy.

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          #54
          Mascots observing minutes silences

          I've been scouring Google on the off-chance that a photographer caught any mascots outside a fundamentalist mosque burning poppies. No luck, so here's Fleetwood's Captain Cod, looking as if he's just sat through all nine and a half hours of Shoah;

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            #55
            Mascots observing minutes silences

            Lofthouse the Lion takes a moment of quiet contemplation

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              #56
              Mascots observing minutes silences

              Lofthouse looks like he's been on the laxatives

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                #57
                Mascots observing minutes silences

                Wendy and Wolfie, secretly thinking of all those tasty, tasty carcasses that littered the streets of Stalingrad;

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                  #58
                  Mascots observing minutes silences

                  Ah, that's where Fellaini's been.

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                    #59
                    Mascots observing minutes silences

                    Oh God. Flanking the player like that. It's so solemn. Maybe they're commemorating that fight they had with the Bristol City mascot.

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                      #60
                      Mascots observing minutes silences

                      Jimmy Bignutz wrote: Nobody fought for this.

                      No, stop, enough, enough. Even on this thread of threads that is unbeatable. It is genuinely painfully funny.

                      It doesn't help that the huge poppies remind me of "So the next week I entered the ground like a Roman centurion" line from The Plywood Bowtie call.

                      Who/what is it?

                      .

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                        #61
                        Mascots observing minutes silences

                        Magnificent. Holy mother of fuck, this thread is one for the ages.

                        There'll be a near-identical piece on the Guardian's website by Wednesday, written by Paul Doyle.

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                          #62
                          Mascots observing minutes silences

                          I think another website has hijacked this thread and is passing it off as it's own but it has a couple of good ones ;



                          That bag of equipment is troubling me no end.



                          He just looks like he is being scolded,

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                            #63
                            Mascots observing minutes silences

                            That chicken above almost, ALMOST but not quite beats the duck on page one with the team in green and yellow stripes.

                            It's bizarre that so many clubs seem to have not considered how ridiculous it is to have your mascots in shot for such a solemn occasion.

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                              #64
                              Mascots observing minutes silences

                              Actually that Scunthorpe Bunny from the previous page looks like some fucked up Donnie Darko inspired hallucination.

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                                #65
                                Mascots observing minutes silences

                                Ddalliance, I am very surprised that you, of all people on here, thought that the ADO Den Haag stork was a duck.

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                                  #66
                                  Mascots observing minutes silences

                                  And we have made it to Deadspin

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                                    #67
                                    Mascots observing minutes silences

                                    That Hammer - he looks like he knows he was responsible for some atrocities. No doubt the nightmares keep him awake at night and now the only job he can hold down is one where he appears once a week, behind a mask and doesn't have to talk to anyone.

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                                      #68
                                      Mascots observing minutes silences

                                      Oh Jesus, confession time: I designed that hammer.

                                      They asked me to do it, I needed the money, I took the money. Not much, about 50 quid I think. The brief: to design a hammer in a West Ham kit. I did them a drawing of said hammer in an action pose, heading a football. In my sketch he was looking up at the ball. The people who made the costume clearly took my design too literally, and fixed the hammer’s pupils to be permanently looking up, as if surprised and delighted to see a heron land on his garage roof.

                                      Despite this disaster, I was offered other mascot design jobs, which I shamefully took. They were mostly for charities or rugby league teams, but the occasional football project came up. Fulham wanted a knight. Wigan wanted a gorilla. Neither ended up being made, thankfully. The final straw came when Bristol City wanted a female cat. As a Swindon fan, I knew this was my opportunity to lumber one of our rivals with a mascot even more ridiculous than a foam hammer that can only look up. However, I got carried away and the drawing I submitted was deemed so offensive that I wasn’t asked to design any more mascots (on reflection, adding the detail of a bottle of scrumpy and a puddle of piss was probably a bit much).

                                      Apologies for derailing the best thread on OTF in years. Please carry on and thank you for listening.

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                                        #69
                                        Mascots observing minutes silences

                                        I will never be able to see that hammer now, without thinking of you inside the costume.

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                                          #70
                                          Mascots observing minutes silences

                                          To get things back on track.

                                          It's not just football that has lost its mind. Not one of mine, thankfully:



                                          The Wombles of Wimbledon, solemn are we:

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                                            #71
                                            Mascots observing minutes silences

                                            BDG, your confession is bad enough, but what truly shocks is your claim that a) these things are designed, and b) designs are rejected.

                                            Never mind 50 quid, "Mascots That Never Made It" is a best-seller in waiting.

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                                              #72
                                              Mascots observing minutes silences

                                              I'm glad that deadspin have picked up on this thread but they've not really got the hang of this yet have they? I mean the only ones that are really good in the ones they use are the ones that come from this thread. It's not about mascots looking at planes, or attending speeches, it's the juxtaposition of stupid costume and solemnity that is funny.

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                                                #73
                                                Mascots observing minutes silences


                                                sammy
                                                The Dunfermline pic is particularly poignant of course, as Sammy the Tammy has seen action

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                                                  #74
                                                  Mascots observing minutes silences

                                                  Best thread ever. I will confess to having shared bits of it (the pictures) elsewhere.

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                                                    #75
                                                    Mascots observing minutes silences



                                                    This one from Ursus looks like he might have been on the other side in the war.

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