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They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

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    They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

    Well, hello all, and welcome to the misery, that is the Eurovision Song Contest of the year of our lady 2013. This year in the stunning city, that is MALMO.

    Semi-final 1 tonight on BBC 3 (and on the BBC interwebsite, UK viewers only).

    Apart from the loose few that PPV dropped on the other thread, I haven't heard any, so will be going in tits upfront. The commentary on the Beeb will be provided by the second division (assuming that Graham Norton, is first!) by Scott Mills.

    But the intriguing thing will be his co-presenter, none other than the delightful Ms Ana Matronic from that there Scissor Sisters combo, which might be dull, but I suspect, because she is a wonderfully... forthright, lady, it could be splendiferous.

    If any is brave (or stupid, or pissed, enough) to join in, feel free.

    I am not sure I will last the whole way through, as I went to collect a new suite (of furniture) which the mister bought on eBay, and of course he forgot to look at the size of the fucking thing, and it took 4 fucking hours to get it up the stairs and into situ (with the largest part, still 2 flights down, blocking the hall). I am knackered, and really in quite serious pain, but fortunately, my health is now in such a robust state, that I will be sniffing the barmaid's apron this evening, assuming she has crampons and carabiners to get over the fucking thing.

    I digress.

    Best of luck to everyone, and may the least shite one, win.

    #2
    They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

    If you are a masochist, it is available here. Although, it might require downloading a bit of software. Might just be me.

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      #3
      They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

      I will generally be LISTENING to the songs, as it's quite difficult to fuck about between TV and interweb, and I am trying to do other things all at the same time!

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        #4
        They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

        Shit, my computer is so overloaded, I have had to turn off my porn feeds.

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          #5
          They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

          Oh right! The Donna Summer lookalike was last year's winner.

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            #6
            They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

            Sometimes the winner sounds better the following year when they're a bit less nervous, and a lot more used to performing the song. Alexander Rybak's Fairytale (2009) is a perfect example of this. Hated it when it won, loved it when it opened Eurovision 2010. Hadn't heard it inbetween.

            But last year's was shit. Irredeemably shit. Like a British Airways advert.

            Anyway, I've had a punt at Italy at 20/1 to win the thing, and the Dutch at 4/1 to get knocked out tonight.

            Haven't heard either. Or indeed any of them. That would spoil it.

            And we have a Canadian in the commentary box. Catherine Ryan. Often funny. Next to her, Scott Mills. Still a twat. I guess. Like Euphoria, I've not heard him since last year.

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              #7
              They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

              And Ana is off: I wonder who choose her shade of lipstick?

              Actually, it looks ok, if slightly butt-fucked-purple, but I digress, and apologies.

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                #8
                They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                David: I HATED that Rybak song... and now I youtube it occasionally to make me smile... a cute little dear, with a decent voice, and tune...

                Here comes AUSTRIA:

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                  #9
                  They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                  Silver spray on leggings. Classy.

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                    #10
                    They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                    A prophetic allusion to singer gender confusion in the title (though can only remember Dana International in that regard)?

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                      #11
                      They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                      Good start. Beautiful lady, wonderful make-up. Tune is OK-ish. Jeans are spray-on (metallic Jag-blue). She reminds me a bit of Minnie Driver.

                      Possibly has too symmetrical a face.

                      This is ok.

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                        #12
                        They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                        OOOO pregnancy=winner.

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                          #13
                          They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                          ESTONIA: LOVE it when they sing in foreign.

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                            #14
                            They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                            She is wearing a tupik. Looks lovely. Song a bit meh.

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                              #15
                              They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                              AH, there's the high note that makes the tune. Possibility.

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                                #16
                                They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                I'm not saying this Austria was a bit dull, but it's like they've nicked the French entry.

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                                  #17
                                  They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                  SLOVENIA next:

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                                    #18
                                    They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                    The Slovenian backing dancers don't want to be seen. This is going to be baaaad.

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                                      #19
                                      They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                      THIS is the typical gay-baiting super-dancey shitfest, that will come last or first.

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                                        #20
                                        They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                        Love love love Eurovision.

                                        And you have to have the sardonic comments from the hosts (be they Wogan, Norton or Mills).

                                        The Scissor Sisters would have SO been a Eurovision act if New York were allowed to enter one, and maybe they should be allowed, a bit like New York enters a team into the All-Ireland Football Championships.

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                                          #21
                                          They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                          Unfortunately, she couldn't hold a note in an envelope.

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                                            #22
                                            They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                            I hate this. It will probably qualify.

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                                              #23
                                              They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                              Nice random acrobatics in the background to try and take your mind off the voice which is bordering on SHRILL/CELINE.

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                                                #24
                                                They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                                CROATIA:

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                                                  #25
                                                  They're HE-ER (Eurovision strikes again) 2013

                                                  Evening all.

                                                  Just got in - have I missed much?

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