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  1. #23601
    Gerontophile's Avatar
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    I met someone today, who looks exactly like Cleo Laine, but doesn't know.

  2. #23602

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    Oviedo
    I once shared with someone that her new haircut made her look a dead ringer for a certain dumpy actress on “Crossroads”.

    She didn’t seem to hear me so I repeated it.

    Again and again and again.

  3. #23603
    Snake Plissken's Avatar
    Wherever you go, there you are
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    What’s a haircut?

  4. #23604
    WOM's Avatar
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    Oatmeal Chocolate Chip
    A reduction in the stated value of an asset.

  5. #23605
    I've just sent off another form in the comedy divorce saga, asking them to grant a divorce without his response.

    I've also filed a set of accounts today, busy bee. Shame that it's all a bit late so I will get penalties :-( must do my accounts on time next year.

    Other than that, all good. Came in a bit later so I could spend a little time with the cat as I'm going out straight from work. My neighbour is going in to see her about 6, so she won't feel that lonely, I hope.

  6. #23606
    WOM's Avatar
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    Oatmeal Chocolate Chip
    We met with the accountant who's preparing mom's final tax return. While there, my sister asked him for a bit of guidance about what she could 'write off' on her taxes, now that she's a self-employed consultant.

    "So, work clothes then..."

    "No."

    "Oh. Transit pass for commuting to and..."

    "No."

    "Oh. Lunch receipts when I..."

    "No."

    "What about my..."

    "Iffy, but I'm going with 'no'."

    Then he goes "Uh...where are you getting your guidance?"

    "A woman I ride the GO train with."

    "I see..."

  7. #23607
    Kev7's Avatar
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    My fav' bis coctus is the bucellatum
    Quote Originally Posted by Gerontophile View Post
    And, as I was screaming to my better half, ITS FUCKING BULGARIA...

    Fortunately, for him, he is a little deaf, and also doesn't understand my accent, when I speak fast. So, no problems.

    (It's Bulgaria)
    And the main border point in that area (Kapikule, Turkish border crossing point) is very interesting to look at from a Brexiting-Dover-chaos in ports perspective (and that’s with Turkey being in the Customs union!).



    FT article (https://www.ft.com/content/b4458652-...8-6876151821a6) so I'm pasting it as there's a paywall:


    Turkey border gridlock hints at pain to come for Brexit Britain

    Truck drivers bemoan long queues and endless paperwork needed to enter EU


    For a glimpse of what British trade into the EU might look like post-Brexit, take a drive to Turkey’s northern border with Bulgaria, one of the busiest land crossings in Europe.
    On a recent Saturday at the Kapıkule border crossing, about 30 minutes drive from the Turkish city of Edirne, a line of trucks 4km long stretched along the highway, inching along glacially towards the Bulgarian checkpoints. “Today is a good day,” said Ibrahim Kurtukcu, a 42-year trucker who had been waiting 14 hours. “Last week the line was 7km long.” The record is 17km. It can take up to 30 hours to get through to the other side.

    Each driver clutches a sheaf of several dozen documents — an export declaration, a carnet from Turkish customs officers, invoices for the products they are hauling, insurance certificates and, when lucky, a transport permit for each EU nation they will drive through.

    They face mounds of paperwork, hours of waiting, a scrabbling for scarce transport permits and random inspections, all before trucks can enter the borderless trading bloc.
    The customs union means free movement of our goods. It doesn’t mean free movement of our trucks Erman Ereke It is a bureaucratic load that negotiators say will be a “huge” point of contention in Brexit talks. The right of lorries to move freely is rarely granted by the bloc to its neighbours — and so far only on the condition of accepting the free movement of persons, something Britain is determined to avoid.

    Even though Turkey is part of the coveted customs union, which means that these trucks won’t be paying any duties for the goods they haul, the total value of trade lost because of the delays, cost and hassle is estimated to be about €3bn, according to a 2015 study. Such obstacles are a concern for the UK as it contemplates its divorce from the EU, especially if, as Theresa May, the prime minister, has said, it tries to negotiate some sort of associate membership of the customs union.

    In many ways, that relationship would be a rung lower than the arrangement that Turkey has. Turkey’s customs union agreement involved Ankara giving up its right to set its own external tariffs in trade deals — something Mrs May is loath to do.

    The biggest speed bump for Turkey is something that the UK could run into as well — transport permits for the 60,000 trucks Turkish operators want to send into the EU each year. For each country through which a Turkish truck needs to pass, the driver must hold a permit from that country’s ministry of transport or an equivalent body.

    Those permits are usually limited by quota, and Turkish truckers say there are never enough. This Saturday, the shelf holding Austrian permits was bare — Turkey gets only 18,000 of them a year, and releases them on a bimonthly basis. An official at the border said Austrian permits had run out 18 days into the new year.

    So until March 1 truckers aiming for Germany, a key trade destination, must instead drive to Austria’s border with Slovenia, and pay €1,000 to put their trucks on a train that rumbles through the Austrian countryside before depositing the trucks on the German border. Fines for driving through Austria without a transport permit can reach thousands of euros.
    “The customs union means free movement of our goods,” said Erman Ereke, a member of the executive committee of the Turkish International Transporters’ Association. “It doesn’t mean free movement of our trucks.”

    The EU has agreed open-access road transport deals only with a handful of neighbouring countries. This includes members of the European Economic Area, which Britain has said it will not join, and Switzerland, which has a special bilateral agreement.

    Crucially, all the transport deals are premised on participation in the EU’s free movement of people area, which Britain also hopes to leave. In other words, even if Britain mirrors the EU rules on haulage, it may not be enough to secure free access for trucks to the EU market.

    In a worst-case scenario this means Brexit Britain may be forced, like Turkey, to negotiate lorry quotas with individual EU countries. The flow of British trucks would be set by whatever France, Belgium and the Netherlands allow. British hauliers could face additional checks, discriminatory road tolls, or weight restrictions. The right of cabotage — where a UK lorry can carry goods between France and Spain — would also be lost.

    The problem is not one of infrastructure. Turkey has invested hundreds of millions of dollars trying to speed up things on its end. It built a massive truck terminus an hour from the Bulgarian border, where customs agents carry out inspections and stamp forms that are then fed into a computerised system shared with the EU. The border gates themselves were revamped to create more lanes and parking lots with modern waiting areas.

    The goal, said a Turkish official, was to complete as much paperwork as possible before actually reaching the border. On the other end, Bulgarian border officers examine each truck, going over the paperwork and doing random drug and migrant checks. Refrigerated trucks are x-rayed as are 5 per cent of other trucks, at random, according to Mr Ereke. “For the UK, I wish them good luck,” he said, pointing to the lines behind him. “It is not going to be easy.”

  8. #23608
    Sean of the Shed's Avatar
    Mary Berry's got a job, so why don't you get a job?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerontophile View Post
    And, as I was screaming to my better half, ITS FUCKING BULGARIA...
    And the Wombles used to be such a sweet little show.

  9. #23609
    Gerontophile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sean of the Shed View Post
    And the Wombles used to be such a sweet little show.
    Never liked the Wombles much. Yes, OK, mad Uncle Bul... oh I see.

  10. #23610
    Gerontophile's Avatar
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    Was Unlce Bulgaria mad? I think I am misremembering.

    *Mad enough to call 'Uncle'?

  11. #23611
    wiblflibl's Avatar
    Meh
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    He was Great Uncle Bulgaria. No idea on his state of mind.

    Edit: Came here to say the decorating is going well, with the working up a ladder bits complete. Now for lunch ... at 3:15pm? Madness.

  12. #23612
    Gangster Octopus's Avatar
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    It must be love...

  13. #23613
    Sean of the Shed's Avatar
    Mary Berry's got a job, so why don't you get a job?
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    Shut up. You're an embarrassment.

  14. #23614
    Toby Gymshorts's Avatar
    I'm nervous and my socks are too loose.
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    Been to the Scandi Market in Rotherhithe. I've had meatballs AND fish soup. Oh, and some Finnish lager.

    9/10, would Scandi Market again.

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