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  1. #26551
    All my male friends on Facebook seem to be having this done as well, is it the season or something?

  2. #26552
    Sits's Avatar
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    I’m a bit worried. I saw a Jaguar F-Pace yesterday, and it looked OK.

  3. #26553
    Femme Folle's Avatar
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    Hi kids, it's colonoscopy season! The shittiest season of them all.

  4. #26554
    hobbes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sits View Post
    I’m a bit worried. I saw a Jaguar F-Pace yesterday, and it looked OK.
    Welcome to the F-Gang.

  5. #26555
    Patrick Thistle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toby Gymshorts View Post
    OK, OK. Back in my youth I had to take a sample of my.....somewhat liquid stools, by means of a small plastic sample jar.

    You can imagine.
    Why didn't you shit into a bucket and then scoop some into the jar? We have a plastic jug to piss in if someone needs to collect a urine sample. A lot easier than lining up a sample jar.

  6. #26556
    WOM's Avatar
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    Yeah, it's lush. And the E Pace looks smart, too. Jag is going to stop making cars any day now.

  7. #26557
    Femme Folle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sits View Post
    I’m a bit worried. I saw a Jaguar F-Pace yesterday, and it looked OK.
    Just googled it. You should be worried.

  8. #26558
    Patrick Thistle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsD View Post
    All my male friends on Facebook seem to be having this done as well, is it the season or something?
    I tried it once in my thirties [shudders]

  9. #26559
    Gerontophile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sits View Post
    Never had a colonoscopy but did the sticks a few times. Now I don’t because I have a Full Blood Count done every two months and my nephrologist says she would see some number changing test to test if something was up. Reckons this covers prostate too. Hope she’s right.
    "One day, when we meet, you will know me from the horror of my tmesis. One day..."

    Fuck it. pile intae my gear and good times, whilst ye will quake from ootside.

    Did I mention about being 51 and homesick, without 'a home" to be sick, of?

  10. #26560
    Gerontophile's Avatar
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    I mentioned upthread, that 'im indoors has a new laptop? Well, it is still going through the motions, and as I type this, I feel devilish...


    I can fuck him up, hehehe

    Do I wish to? hell... maybe.

    <It's a new PC/laptop, and he has gone to bed, so at the moment, the laptop is taking vocal cues from my tapping fingers... Now, do you see?>

    Either going to be the funniest thing ever, but I don't have a cam, or, and I cannot say this more often, I am going to end up being such a cunt.

    You decide

  11. #26561
    Toby Gymshorts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick Thistle View Post
    Why didn't you shit into a bucket and then scoop some into the jar? We have a plastic jug to piss in if someone needs to collect a urine sample. A lot easier than lining up a sample jar.
    I genuinely wish I'd thought of shitting into a bucket first. *eyeroll*

  12. #26562
    WOM's Avatar
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    Well, you've the week off, so...

  13. #26563
    Toby Gymshorts's Avatar
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    I'll ask my dad if he has a bucket he doesn't care for.

    "What do you want a bucket for?"

    "Reasons, dad. Complicated reasons."

  14. #26564
    Buckets are cheap.

  15. #26565
    I looked into my Lehman Brothers pension yesterday and apparently it is quite valuable. Never thought I'd need a pension or live long enough to draw it.

  16. #26566
    ursus arctos's Avatar
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    Speaking from experience, it is a nice problem to have.

  17. #26567
    hobbes's Avatar
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    Why would you use a bucket when you can use a plastic bag?
    That way afterwards you don't need to clean out a bucket.

  18. #26568
    Femme Folle's Avatar
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    Line the bucket with the plastic bag.

  19. #26569
    Gerontophile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WOM View Post
    Well, you've the week off, so...
    Still Scottish?

  20. #26570
    Gerontophile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsD View Post
    Buckets are cheap.
    I missed you.

  21. #26571
    Gerontophile's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ursus arctos View Post
    Speaking from experience, it is a nice problem to have.

    Yeah, no. There are many things that I can deal with, and I am a total arsehole, but thinking about this sentence... Why ? Why... would you invoke the ursus collective's insanity.?


    So, mentalism will do for now. "How do you feel about not getting a medal?"

    "Well, at which point did you ask the victim why she has a hole in her chest?"

    OH MY GOD.

  22. #26572
    Jah Womble's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pebblethefish View Post
    It's not as bad as "We need to talk" but no, it's not a good one. Still, at least you're forewarned. A fiancée once texted me that she had "a surprise" for me, which works the same, only in the other direction. I was most disappointed when, instead of the hoped for steak or stockings, I found out that the surprise was that she was going back to her ex.
    Jesus wept, that's crass.

    Not 'quite' on that scale, perhaps, but I copped for one of these just last month. It cost me a hotel room for two, an expensive French meal and a great deal of my dignity and self-respect. While I suspected that something might be up, you can imagine that, with such a weekend in the offing, I wasn't 'quite' anticipating that...

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