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American mums having naked baths with their daught

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    #51
    American mums having naked baths with their daught

    I'm totally with WE and others here. As a young child i used to go in the shower with my parents on most summer days at the beach. I think you'd have to be pretty repressed to think that this would be freaky, and downright insane to suggest that something like this would be worthy of an intervention from the social services.

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      #52
      American mums having naked baths with their daught

      .

      Where do we stand on letting your nippers come into your bed when they're frightened? And on hugs and kisses?

      .

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        #53
        American mums having naked baths with their daught

        I think there is a culture of hysterics in this country when it comes to children and sexual abuse. It is probably a consequence of our puritanical past (not to mention the current crop of fundies who seem to be everywhere these days and not just isolated to the Bible Belt). There are the occasional news stories about daycare providers molesting children in their care, along with that whole Catholic priest thing, along with news stories about parents sexually molesting their children, that adults who work with children possibly do overreact at times. I'm sure they think it's more prudent to err on the side of caution.

        I really don't expect you Old Europeans (winky) to understand this because it's not the way it is where you live.

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          #54
          American mums having naked baths with their daught

          People take their kids to the swimming pool at older than five, don't they? Changing rooms there are like Woodstock.

          I have a dim memory of being taken to the swimming pool by my mother when I was very young, and having to use the women's changing rooms with her. I can still remember looking around at all those naked nans... on (grimacing) reflection, I'm slightly surprised I grew up heterosexual.

          I think being naked around your own children, and vice versa, should be OK at any age. It obviously isn't - not with me, not with most people - and I'm vaguely certain that this is a bad thing. Thing is, we do still live in the muddled society which created this situation in the first place, so I'm not certain that bucking the trend would serve any real purpose: the psychological benefits of that Germanic/Nordic unselfconsciousness can't really be used here. Your kid might just grow up with a kind of baffled frustration.

          Anyway, I remember seeing my parents naked when I was a kid - obviously I don't think about this very often, but when I do I get a too-clear picture and a slight queasiness. I think, on balance, I'd rather not have seen that. It's not a terrible thing, but I certainly can't think of any way in which it's a particularly good thing.

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            #55
            American mums having naked baths with their daught

            Not sure if people aren't jumping at shadows here. I am probably wrong but SR's hippy comment seemed clearly tongue in cheek and EvilC posed a genuine question.

            With three boys from 11 upwards we still walk around naked now and again. The kids may well be traumatised, but more because of the state of our bodies than the sight of a whizzer or a willy.

            I am reasonably confident none of them will grow with an overbearing psychosis - but could be wrong.

            We warned our kids at around four or five that there were a very tiny number of people who might try to touch them in the wrong places, what to do it if that happened and that it didn't matter who it was or what was said to them about "secrets".

            I am about as far from a flower child as it is possible to be but I don't think honesty about such things is the sole preserve of hippies.

            As for sharing the bed, we were never big fans. If I rolled over I'd crush them to death. However, the Mrs and the middle were on our bed together last night watching TV together. Should I report this?

            Breast feeding for five years and above is off, for me. Like people over 16 on skate boards it is just looks daft.

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              #56
              American mums having naked baths with their daught

              Wyatt Earp's step-uncle is Neville Chamberlain. Don't send him on any important missions to Munich or challenge to a game of snooker.

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                #57
                American mums having naked baths with their daught

                Harry Carpenter wrote:
                Spearmint Rhino wrote:
                but the bottom line is that there are surely plenty of ways of bonding with your kids which do not involve exposing your flaps/nips/bell-end/arsecrack to them at an age where they're already going to school, holding fluent conversations and forming enduring memories.
                So let me get this straight, we should be hiding our bodies from our children?
                Yeah.

                Boundaries.

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                  #58
                  American mums having naked baths with their daught

                  What boundary do you think is being crossed?

                  At what age (of the child) does that boundary come into effect?

                  What does the boundary impact on?

                  Can the kids see other people naked on TV or in changing rooms?

                  If you are in a changing room can they see others, but not you?

                  Do you discuss sex with them and if so do you describe the human body to them or show pictures, etc?

                  I am not being facetious by the way, I think the debate is an interesting one.

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                    #59
                    American mums having naked baths with their daught

                    Absolutely it's about boundaries, but it's all about where people set these boundaries.
                    My son is five. Do I bathe with him? No. But that's more because he usually bathes with his sister and a load of toys, and on the occasion I do have a bath, I like to relax on my own. We shower together, at home occasionally, and of course at the swimming pool. I have shared a bath with all three kids when they were younger/babies, which before becoming a father was a completely alien concept to me.
                    But now that my son is five and going to school we are trying to teach him about certain 'activities' being private (going to the loo etc.). I'm sure in time he'll want to shower alone at the pool too.
                    It's hard to put an age on these things, as everyone is different though.

                    So I guess I'm in the wishy-washy middle ground on this discussion.

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                      #60
                      American mums having naked baths with their daught

                      Hieronymus Bosch wrote:
                      EIM wrote:
                      Who was the newsreader who got in trouble for having photos of her kid on the bath?
                      Julia Somerville.
                      Is it because they might have slipped off and got hurt?

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                        #61
                        American mums having naked baths with their daught

                        Spearmint Rhino wrote:
                        Harry Carpenter wrote:
                        Spearmint Rhino wrote:
                        but the bottom line is that there are surely plenty of ways of bonding with your kids which do not involve exposing your flaps/nips/bell-end/arsecrack to them at an age where they're already going to school, holding fluent conversations and forming enduring memories.
                        So let me get this straight, we should be hiding our bodies from our children?
                        Yeah.

                        Boundaries.
                        Well yes, but why are these boundaries necessary?

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                          #62
                          American mums having naked baths with their daught

                          In case you start having designs on your own kids.. and we all know what needs to happen then..

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                            #63
                            American mums having naked baths with their daught

                            Gunishment?

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                              #64
                              American mums having naked baths with their daught

                              If only Max had bathed with his father, he might have gotten all of those yearnings out of his system before puberty . . .

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                                #65
                                American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                I'd love to know what exactly is wrong with a mother having a bath with her five year old daughter. I mean, for fucks sake.

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                                  #66
                                  American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                  Boundaries, Hof. BOUNDARIES.

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                                    #67
                                    American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                    It makes you a borderline paedophile. And even opening this thread has ensured I can't take my laptop to PC World until I have done a full system cleanse.

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                                      #68
                                      American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                      Are there other sorts of baths aside from 'naked baths'?

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                                        #69
                                        American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                        EIM wrote:
                                        It makes you a borderline paedophile. And even opening this thread has ensured I can't take my laptop to PC World until I have done a full system cleanse.
                                        You take your laptops to PC World? Pervert!

                                        ;-)

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                                          #70
                                          American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                          The new board's first completely mental thread. Well It's baptised now. Who would have thought it would have been on the film section.

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                                            #71
                                            American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                            I hate baths, so I have no inclination to hop into the tub with my kids, but if I was so disposed, I'd have no moral qualms. You're more likely to be able to enforce boundaries by demonstrating what constitutes acceptable and agreeable behaviour.

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                                              #72
                                              American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                              Are there other sorts of baths aside from 'naked baths'?

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                                                #73
                                                American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                                This thread is, indeed, insane. My kids are 5 and 2 1/2, and I bath with them both. Naked. And usually it's "Dad...you getting in?" Which is great. Being completely at ease with my body will no doubt help them be at ease with theirs, and I can't imagine what could be wrong with that. Both know what their body parts do, and what they're called, and have done so since they were old enough to talk and ask questions. Which, if you have children, you know they do.

                                                A work-mate of mine has twin 7 year-old daughters. Just last month he said "I'm really sweating what to say when they ask what their...you know...'parts' are called." My eyes almost fell out. What a great way to have a free and open dialogue with your kids.

                                                And being naked in close proximity with your own child makes you no more a paedophile than being in close proximity with a pub makes you an alcoholic.

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                                                  #74
                                                  American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                                  OK, bad example maybe...

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                                                    #75
                                                    American mums having naked baths with their daught

                                                    Incidentally, Clive, I'm not getting "shitstorm" here, I'm getting "Huh? What's these people's problem?"

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