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    The WTF? Thread

    A researcher in Helsinki has broken away from traditional economy studies of such things as investment flows, current account balances and manufacturing to look instead at the anatomy. Because you can't make this stuff up, I'll let the study by Tatu Westling, a doctoral student at the Helsinki Center of Economic Research, at the University of Helsinki, speak for itself:

    "The aim of this paper is to fill this scholarly gap with the male organ. Hence in contrast to much of the existing literature, economic development is viewed from a perspective quite novel. The is whether and how strongly the average sizes of male organ are associated with GDPs between 1960 and 1985? It is argued here that the average size - the erect length, to be precise - of male organ in population has a strong predictive power of economic development during the period. The exact causality can only be speculated at this point but the correlations are robust."

    I certainly agree that it's predictive of something, but economic growth?

    (The study was actually released earlier this week, but I saved it for today, when I figured everyone could use a bit of a breather from debt crises and monetary policy. Having said that, it is a real, if not-in-the-mainstream paper.)

    It's a little difficult for a lay person to follow the study's findings, which come with mathematical formulas, references, tables and charts (of GDP).

    The bottom line is that the smaller the penis, the faster the economic growth. Indeed, for every centimetre more, there's a 5-per-cent to 7-per-cent decline in expansion. The strongest economies are those where men have average penises. And if you want an economy that promises you a job, you'd better hope you weren't too blessed: "The GDP-maximizing length can be identified at around 13.5 centimetres. One striking result is the collapse in GDP after male organ exceeds the length of 16 centimetres."

    This is significant, the study notes, using rivals France and Britain as examples: "If France with its average size of 16.1 centimetres had male organs on par with United Kingdom's 13.9 centimetres, French GDP wuld have ceteris paribus expanded by around 15 per cent more between 1960 and 1985."

    (A plea to the British here not to deluge me with hate mail and protestations. I'm only the messenger.)

    The question as to why isn't really answered, though the author does speculate on areas such such as self-esteem, and how much a man may strive for money and success to compensate. And then there's this: "Labour and leisure vary accordingly. Hence the world would be characterized by two kinds of countries. One group would constitute of leisure-poor, high-GDP countries with small male organs; the other of leisure-rich but low-GDP countries with large male organs."

    What's this all mean? The IMF projects that Canada will see the second-fastest growth among the G7 countries this year, and, well, that the Germans should hang their heads in shame.

    Comment


      The WTF? Thread

      Why at Last! wrote:
      In a seat dispute on the Tube, you'd get a passive-aggressive "Tch", and possibly a muttered "Typical."
      I suspect this is not true.

      I saw two girls fighting over a seat (from different groups) and it all kicked off, and they were at it. Every single person in the carriage was doing the Tsk thing, including myself (well, these ladies might be carrying) but the guard, yes, a guard on the Tube, came along, whipped out a bottle of water, and sprayed them with it. And then he spoke to them, after they had stopped... suggested it might be wise, if one picked the other carriage, and then, waited for that to happen, and then had a word in his intercom thingy, and said, 'nah, nothing happening mate, sorted', and then... and then the round of applause was not only palpable, it included the two protagonists, who shook hands.

      No, I couldnt believe it either, and I was there.

      (Victoria line to Kings X, 5th July, this year)

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        The WTF? Thread

        Every single person in the carriage was doing the Tsk thing, including myself (well, these ladies might be carrying) but the guard, yes, a guard on the Tube, came along, whipped out a bottle of water, and sprayed them with it.
        Are you sure you're not remembering the beginning of a porno?

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          The WTF? Thread

          GY: Which porno were YOU thinking that I might remember, which involved persons of a significantly different gender of my choice?

          Or, were you in the room when I was 10, and really DID watch Debbie Does Dallas (and she didnt, just a bit)?

          Without stating the obvious, truth IS stranger than fiction.

          I wasnt feeling well in Paris last week, so I sat in a doorway, took my NYY hat off, and some massive bellend threw 10€ in it, which floated off to the side... I picked it up, and handed it back to him, and the fucker was Russian.

          And, I wasnt even hungover... I was just tired of up and down the Belleville hill-thing. I feel and look fucking gorgeous now, who knew?

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            The WTF? Thread

            Hahahahaha!

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              The WTF? Thread

              The other day I gave my seat up on the tube to some woman who was loaded down with shopping bags. I was getting off at the next stop anyway, and she looked proper stressed out (we were in rush hour). I couldn't believe how grateful she was, like no-one ever did this anymore.

              'You sir, are a proper gent'

              'It's not problem, I was getting off anyway.'

              'No no, but you really are a wonderful young man; you're a dying breed, you know.'

              'Um... ok. Thanks.'

              The next three minutes were kind of uncomfortable, mostly because I was standing - on a packed train - facing and therefore nearly leaning over her, with her not unattractive middle-aged (which were at the same level as my nethers) features gazing up at me in wonder, like I was some sort of public transport-based superbeing. You know when you just know by how someone is looking at you that they are having inappropriate thoughts about you? There was a bit of that as well. It was very odd.

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                The WTF? Thread

                Well, go on with the second half of your Penthouse letter.

                Did she take you back to her apartment in Mayfair or not?

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                  The WTF? Thread

                  'No no, but you really are a wonderful young man; you're a dying breed, you know.'
                  Do middle aged people - and I'm one - really use those speech patterns?

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                    The WTF? Thread

                    Flynnie wrote:
                    Well, go on with the second half of your Penthouse letter.

                    Did she take you back to her apartment in Mayfair or not?
                    Go on; I'll start it for you

                    "Imagine my surprise when she......."

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                      The WTF? Thread

                      Do middle aged people - and I'm one - really use those speech patterns?
                      This one did, she was a cor blimey cockney stereotype

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                        The WTF? Thread

                        "It's a shame Curb portrayed a "palestinian" woman as a sex object. Obviously the creators haven't dealt with many actual "palestinians"

                        What I liked about the latest Curb:

                        was biased in favor of Jews- rightly portrayed "palestinians" as antisemites wanting to destroy Jews/Israel
                        I don't watch "Curb Your Enthusiasm" butI can't believe it does any of this

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                          The WTF? Thread

                          I'm fascinated how readily folk on this thread see these tube tales as catalysts for full-scale porno-fantasy.

                          I think I'm at my lowest sexual ebb when travelling on the underground - even the Freudian symbolism rife within 'my train entering a tunnel' doesn't do it. Christ, what's happening to me?

                          Comment


                            The WTF? Thread

                            I was threatened with violence the other day.
                            A cycle courier cut across the pavement in front of me so I called him a prick. When he stopped and asked what my "fucking problem" was, I said "pavements are for people, roads are for bikes."
                            He then kept following my up the road seemingly getting himself angrier and angrier, like he was winding himself up, threatening to lay me out when I got to the next corner. And then the next corner. And then... The temptation to chin the dozy cunt was almost unbearable, but I decided to remain calm. Mainly because I suspect he could have battered the shit out of me - I'm not very good at that sort of thing. So I just kept saying "fuck off mate, I'm not getting into a fight with you. You know you were in the wrong, so just leave it. I'm not getting into a fight with you."
                            He finally did leave it when we got to the top of my road and a massive bloke who was standing there glared at him and asked me if I needed any help (he'd obviously seen I wasn't the aggressor) which was nice. Cycle courier, who by this time had wasted 30 times the amount of time he had saved dodging the traffic lights by cycling across the pavement, cycled off with the stunning bon mot "why are you so fat?"
                            "Because I eat too much, you thick cunt" I replied, although he probably didn't end up hearing that.

                            I thought afterwards, was I wrong to try to defuse the situation as I did - should I have just whacked him, but I reckon I did the right thing all round. Even if he was a white bloke with dreadlocks and therefore deserved a right shoeing.

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                              The WTF? Thread

                              "It's a shame Curb portrayed a "palestinian" woman as a sex object. Obviously the creators haven't dealt with many actual "palestinians"

                              What I liked about the latest Curb:

                              was biased in favor of Jews- rightly portrayed "palestinians" as antisemites wanting to destroy Jews/Israel

                              I don't watch "Curb Your Enthusiasm" butI can't believe it does any of this
                              I do watch Curb and I have no recollection of this whatsoever. He did in an earlier season do an interesting skit with a sexy Orthodox Jewish dry cleaner who he meets for sex at a hotel bringing with him a sheet with a hole in it he had been told (wrongly) he needed.

                              Comment


                                The WTF? Thread

                                hobbes wrote:
                                ... "why are you so fat?"
                                "Because I eat too much, you thick cunt" I replied, although he probably didn't end up hearing that.
                                So he's shows an interest in your health and well-being and you verbally abuse him. Very nice.

                                But no, you handled it the right way. Throwing the first punch would have only turned the tables.

                                Comment


                                  The WTF? Thread

                                  Er Liquidatore wrote:
                                  'It's not problem, I was getting off anyway.'
                                  Some things go without saying.

                                  Comment


                                    The WTF? Thread

                                    hobbes wrote:
                                    Even if he was a white bloke with dreadlocks and therefore deserved a right shoeing.
                                    Are there a lot of them down in that London?

                                    I ask because a couple of years ago I had what might be described as a frank exchange of views with a very similar sounding chap who wanted to ride his bike over the exact square foot of underpass I was occupying beneath Westminster Bridge. He was all for finalising the debate with a spot of ungentlemanly conduct but I told him to fuck off and nipped up a flight of stairs and left him swearing his tits off behind me.

                                    Comment


                                      The WTF? Thread

                                      I've seen a clip of that "Curb". There's a sensational new "Palestinian chicken" place in LA called Al-Abbas, which Larry and his friend go to, for the chicken (which is sensational) and for the illicit thrill.

                                      The clip I saw was hilarious, but certainly pregnant with the possibility of political dodginess of the "Palestinians are all anti-Semites" kind. But I'll forgive a lot for hilariousness.

                                      Comment


                                        The WTF? Thread

                                        Why at Last! wrote:
                                        I've seen a clip of that "Curb". There's a sensational new "Palestinian chicken" place in LA called Al-Abbas, which Larry and his friend go to, for the chicken (which is sensational) and for the illicit thrill.

                                        The clip I saw was hilarious, but certainly pregnant with the possibility of political dodginess of the "Palestinians are all anti-Semites" kind. But I'll forgive a lot for hilariousness.
                                        I saw the episode. It was a bit dodgy, politically, but it should be pointed out that Larry's Jewish friends in the episode were portrayed as bigots, too, objecting to the very idea of a Palestinian chicken restaurant opening next to a Jewish deli. (The episode was, I think, supposed to be a parody of the uproar over the plans for a mosque near the World Trade Center site.)

                                        Comment


                                          The WTF? Thread

                                          Yeah, that's the thing about Larry David, he takes a jaundiced view of everyone.

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                                            The WTF? Thread

                                            Just goes to show that, however balanced you try and make something, someone's going to use you for their own agenda

                                            Comment


                                              The WTF? Thread

                                              Wow, I need to see that episode. I wonder if they made the chicken place seem like Zankou.

                                              edit:
                                              OH. MY. GOD. I just watched the clips. Unbelievable. The restaurant they filmed at is a well-known Lebanese restaurant in Westwood (the lonely Lebanese place in the stretch of Westwood Blvd. that's Tehrangeles/Little Persia). And the shirts that the servers are wearing in the restaurant, bright yellow, are an obvious reference to the shirts that the servers at Zankou Chicken (a famous Armenian chicken chain here in LA) wear.

                                              BTW, I recently found out that a friend-of-a-friend is Bob Einstein's daughter.

                                              Comment


                                                The WTF? Thread

                                                Incandenza wrote:
                                                BTW, I recently found out that a friend-of-a-friend is Bob Einstein's daughter.
                                                I think the high-point of his career was on Curb, telling a reluctant Jerry Seinfeld that hideous joke during the Seinfeld reunion episode. Gold.

                                                Comment


                                                  The WTF? Thread

                                                  Hold on, I raise a serious concern and all you do is name-drop? Tsch!

                                                  Comment


                                                    The WTF? Thread

                                                    Sherlock Holmes banned in Virginia.

                                                    The Albemarle County School Board voted Thursday night to remove Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s “A Study in Scarlet” from sixth-grade reading lists. A parent of a Henley Middle School student originally challenged the book in May on the grounds that it is derogatory toward Mormons.

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