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    We are Leeds

    I'm Billy. I'm Leeds. And I'm fiercely proud of it.

    So, the FA, the Masons, and the Illuminati finally got us. All season long they tried to stop us, but all season long we kept on coming back. We're Leeds. We fight. That's Yorkshire grit and bloody mindedness for you. We fight the arbitrary 15 point penalty by getting enough points to get in the playoffs anyway. We fight paid off referees and the small teams down here for whom playing Leeds is their cup final. And though the odds are heavily stacked against us by a jealous world we still get to the playoffs. Then we score last minute goals (twice!), after the FA fixers have nodded off, to get through to the final. Because we're Leeds, and you can never keep us down. And then finally you get us. You and your armies of those who wish to see us down, to see us gone, to see us lost to the world forever, to see the famous white shirts rubbed in the mud. But we'll never lie down to you people. We are Leeds and we are proud, and we'll raise the white flag high.

    And to think, irony of ironies, you finally beat us with a man called Hayter. A Hayter serving all of you haters. I bet you think that was funny didn't you, when you planned this match out in your headquarters. Well, enjoy your moment of fun, because we are Leeds and we will be back.

    I knew the match would go badly when watching the Eurovision song contest. That's a fix too, and you're probably behind that as well aren't you? The Scandinavian nations all sticking up for each other, the Balkans likewise, and then you've got the countries of the USSR all voting for Russia. But nobody votes for us, the good old UK because, like Leeds, they all hate us. And just as poor Andy Abrahams was crushed by the conspiracy, so, it proved, were we a day later. And just as (I'm quite sure) Andy will come back bigger better and stronger from this shoddy treatment and not disappear from view never to be heard from again until he shows up on “I love 2008” in 20 years time, so too will Leeds.

    Because we are Leeds, and we are Yorkshire, through and through. And it's a crime that Yorkshire football has to sit here languishing in the third division while the London based FA, laugh and piss all over us. This weekend belongs to them. I'm not sure where Hull and Doncaster are, but they're not Yorkshire and they're not Leeds. And that's all that counts.

    You think when you criticise Sir Kenneth Bates, the man who rescued this proud club from your invidious aims, that you can pretend you do not hate us, Leeds, Yorkshire, as an entity. But we know. You're either Leeds, or you're against us.

    Yes we had our doubts about Sir Kenneth when he came here. He wasn't Leeds, he was Chelsea. But he rode in, a white knight to save the men in white, and showed us otherwise. He was Leeds all along. In fact he only made his millions by putting Chelsea into massive debt and then selling them to a Russian billionaire so that he could come and show his true white heart. He epitomises Leeds. He has such charisma and fight, the spirit of Bremner strong in him, that he managed to persuade a bunch of Cayman Islands based financiers to give money to save us. Not loan, give. That's Leeds, that is. That's true Leeds. And you, the rest of you, in your ivory towers, your safe havens, your not Yorkshire, your flatlands. You will never understand that. And you can trip us up and laugh when we fall all you like, as you always have, from finding that so called computer generated “Jim Montgomery” in 1973,to that referee you hired in the 1975 European Cup final, to now, when you push us into the 3rd division, and try to keep us down there with every means at your disposal.

    What's next? What evil do you have planned next? Rumours are flying on our message boards of you trying to have Sir Kenneth tried at the Hague. We'll never hand him over you know. Not even when you send your bombers over and try to lay waste to the proud turf of Elland Road. We will fight you on the estates, we will never surrender. Because we are Leeds.

    Billy Braithwaite is Head of Programming at Yorkshire TV

    #2
    We are Leeds

    Of course he is. Fantastic.

    What a weekend. First, a fat 39-year-old fires Hull into the top flight and now little Donny are one league away.

    Come on Rochdale!

    Comment


      #3
      We are Leeds

      I had no idea that BBC Look North's presenter Harry Gration was a Bradford City fan until yesterday.

      Suffice to say, he looked pretty happy come the final whistle.

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        #4
        We are Leeds

        Wingco to thread - could you do one of your funny versions of the above, this guy is a pale immitation...

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          #5
          We are Leeds

          If you don't get it you are not Leeds.

          [Seriously though, you're right. It worked much better as an idea than it did in reality. But I reckon wingco could do something with it- not this obviously, but a tinfoil-hat wearing leeds fan sitting in his bunker, surrounded by cans of peas]

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            #6
            We are Leeds

            I liked it. It was like the opposing view point of 'The Damned United'.

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              #7
              We are Leeds

              Is Harry Gration still banned from Elland Road?

              Comment


                #8
                We are Leeds

                Is Harry Gration still banned from Elland Road?
                I didn't know that. How (and when) did that come about?

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