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June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

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    June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

    England squad

    Backs:

    M Brown (Harlequins) - It's between him and Tait for full back. Go Mike!

    P Sackey (Wasps) - Will start, fine by me.

    D Strettle (Harlequins) - Should start. I'd have preferred JSD on form and fitness until yesterday.

    T Ojo (London Irish) - Bolter. I would have put him in the Saxons and taken Varndell

    M Tait (Newcastle) - Full back, I reckon.

    M Tindall (Gloucester) - Rather him than Noon

    J Noon (Newcastle) - What has this man done to get in the England team? He is playing for a club side that is shipping points by the half century and only looks good for England against teams that are playing teribly themselves (e.g. Ireland)

    T Flood (Newcastle) - Prejudice points me to pick him over Barkley. But I'd still rather have seen Geraghty there.

    O Barkley (Bath) - Boooo!!!! Like his forwards equivalent, Worsley, he'll get to 60 caps and we'll still be wondering if he can bring his club form to the international game.

    D Cipriani (Wasps) - Will start

    C Hodgson (Sale Sharks) - An interesting vote of confidence.

    R Wigglesworth (Sale Sharks) - Man in possession.

    P Richards (London Irish) - Don't rate him.

    D Care (Harlequins) - Yay!

    Forwards:

    A Sheridan (Sale Sharks) - Starter. Just keep the punches under control!

    T Payne (Wasps - Backup.

    M Stevens (Bath) - Should start

    J Hobson (Bristol) - Backup

    L Mears (Bath) - Should Start

    D Hartley (Northampton) - I'd take him for the experience and get him a good chunk of a GP season under his belt before he's picked

    D Paice (London Irish) - Backup

    S Borthwick (Bath, capt) - Fair enough

    B Kay (Leicester) - If he starts over Kennedy it will be a triumph of past form (i.e. 2002) over what he's shown since then

    N Kennedy (London Irish) - Should start

    T Palmer (Wasps) - Backup

    T Croft (Leicester) - I wouldn't start him but I would have him on the bench

    J Haskell (Wasps) - Starter at 6

    J Worsley (Wasps) - What the hell is he doing there? It can only be for the experience his haul of mediocrity brings because he isn't there for anything else he's doing

    M Lipman (Bath) - Should start at 7

    T Rees (Wasps) - Backup to Lipman if we need to change the style

    N Easter (Harlequins) - Should start at 8 if his knee holds up

    L Narraway (Gloucester) - Can vary things if Easter breaks down or isn't working.

    All in all, a decent squad, albeit with a few players I think are very much past their sell by date - Worsley and Kay being the notables. Also a bit concerned that the wingers other than Sackey are either not fully match or have no experience of internationals - to go from an end of season high note (Ojo) to facing the All Blacks is a big leap. I also find Varndell's exclusion a bit odd given his performance over the season rather than in the last month.

    I think I know why Johnson's gone for Mike Brown - place kicking aside, he's very much like Jonno's old Leicester (and sometime England) teammate Tim Stimpson. Brawny, cuts great lines from full back, tackles well, has a huge boot and a nose for the try line. Although given Squeaky's coaching this, I expect to see Tait at 15 (no bad thing in itself).

    Very pleased that we've also got our entire back row (less Hala'ufia who, unsurprisingly isn't avaiable for selection and Volley, who's retiring) in either the full or "A" squad.

    #2
    June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

    No one's reading it, but FUCKING PLAY OFFS! FUCKING HELL! "Oooh, the players are all knackered, how can we help them? I know, we'll tack extra games on at the end of the season and get them all injured!"

    Cipriani ***********************SQUEAMISH SPOILER LINK ALERT, NOT THAT ANYONE'S READING THIS THREAD*************************

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/index.jhtml

    Fuck's sake, JSD, Cipriani, Lipman off injured, Mears, Stevens who the fuck else?

    Comment


      #3
      June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

      A folorn voice in the wind cried - "Wales squad" though no-one answered him...

      Wales squad for their summer tour South Africa:
      Backs: Morgan Stoddart, Andrew Bishop, Jamie Roberts, Shane Williams, Tom James, Mark Jones, Sonny Parker, Tom Shanklin, Stephen Jones, James Hook, Andy Williams, Warren Fury, Gareth Cooper.

      Forwards: Ryan Jones (Captain), Dafydd Jones, Jonathan Thomas, Gareth Delve, Bradley Davies, Ian Evans, Alun-Wyn Jones, Ian Gough, Duncan Jones, Gethin Jenkins, Rhys Thomas, Adam Jones, Matthew Rees.

      Comment


        #4
        June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

        There's a small possibility that I may get a ticket for the first England test. Maybe.

        Hurrah! Gareth Cooper is back! What price Wales being one point up in the last minute, and then Cooper kicking it into his own arse, thus allowing the Boks to go the length of the field and score.

        Comment


          #5
          June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

          Heh, judging by some of his performances for Glaws this season, he's lucky he's last man standing.

          Comment


            #6
            June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

            Two things; What's the bloody point of these summer tours? Everyone up here's knackered and the Sanzar teams just use them as a bit of practice prior to the Tri-Nations. Secondly, when did this play-off bollocks come to the Guiness premiership?? If I was a Gloucester fan I'd be suicidal or finding out who was responsible.

            Comment


              #7
              June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

              What's the bloody point of these summer tours?
              Money.

              Secondly, when did this play-off bollocks come to the Guiness premiership??
              A few years ago. For money. It's why everyone hates Wasps with a passion. The cunts have never finished top of the League but contrive to cuntishly win the bloody thing all the time like the band of cunts they are.

              It completely negates the point of a league. If it was just a round robin type thing like S14 that has always been a precursor to the playoffs, it wouldn't be so bad. The problem is they brought in the playoffs after several years of having a proper "You finish top, you're champions" league to make more money, all the while bitching about player burnout because they played too many matches. And every season someone gets broken. Last season it was Harry Ellis, this season, Cipriani. It's supposed to compensate teams for losing international players during the league program, but you end up with situations like this year where third are playing fourth for the right to be crowned "Champions". Bloody stupid. You can fuck about for half a season, scrape into the top four and then be on top of the pile by dint of a couple of wins whilst the team that's led all season and finished top just has to slip up once and their whole season's achievement is in the shitter.

              Comment


                #8
                June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                Hmm, suspected as much. Re the Down under summer tour, do they really make any money? How much does it cost to send what's left of the Northern Hemisphere teams and their entourage to Oz, NZ or SA? Do the locals really care and do Sky Sports really make it worthwhile? I'd have thought that after the England shambles in 1998 teams might have just waited for the arrival of the SANZAR teams 3months later.

                Comment


                  #9
                  June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                  FUCKING BASTARD BACKSPACE TAKING ME BACK A PAGE AND WIPING MY FUCKING POST BEFORE I'VE HAD A FUCKING CHANCE TO POST THE FUCKER! BASTARD!

                  Anyway, Jerry Collins. I thought it was odd he converted the 'Canes last minute consolation try but in light of his retirement, it's exactly what clubs let their retiring forwards do for a laugh at the end of a season (unless they're John Eales).

                  Comment


                    #10
                    June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                    Collins is supposedly angling for "a big money move up North". Any takers?

                    Comment


                      #11
                      June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                      Toulon appears to be the destination of choice for the pension boosting All Black crowd.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                        Toulon huh? Unsurprising given the amount of S12 refugees playing in France not to mention he'd probably be happiest amongst a pack of French psychopaths.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                          Back to topic, it looks like a fairly strong Scotland side going to Argentina this summer. We will lose both tests, at least one of them heavily. Interesting to see Chris Paterson returning to Edinburgh after five minutes at Gloucester, must find out about that one.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                            He never got the game time at 10, which is what he really wanted so he could secure the Scotland fly half jersey for himself. However, he couldn't oust Lamb and so picked up a load of splinters. But he did score a cracking try against Bath (I think) just after he came on. Everyone else was foundering in the mud, he got the ball in his own half and miraculously found the pace that we all thought injury had robbed him of and burned in from about 70 yards.

                            Ireland vs. Barbarians tonight. Quins' own Mike Ross at tighthead! Yay! Mind you, he's bloody knackered, he started 29 matches for us this season and I think he was substituted about twice. For a prop, that's amazing (and it shows how much he's rated above the rest of the Quins propping department). Ireland and Wales could do worse than look to him and Ceri Jones.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                              England team to face Barbarians:

                              M Brown (Harlequins)
                              T Ojo (London Irish)
                              M Tait (Newcastle)
                              T Flood (Newcastle)
                              D Strettle (Harlequins)

                              C Hodgson (Sale Sharks)
                              R Wigglesworth (Sale)

                              N Lloyd (Saracens)
                              D Paice (London Irish)
                              J Hobson (Bristol)
                              C Jones (Sale Sharks)
                              N Kennedy (London Irish)
                              L Narraway (Gloucester)
                              W Skinner (Harlequins)
                              N Easter (Harlequins, captain). (YAY! STUFF YOU, PLANET RUGBY!)

                              Replacements:

                              D Hartley (Northampton)
                              D Wilson (Newcastle)
                              S Hooper (Leeds)
                              T Guest (Harlequins)
                              D Care (Harlequins)
                              P Richards (London Irish)
                              U Monye (Harlequins).

                              BUT -

                              Narraway out of position.

                              No Danny Care starting. Lunacy. What can Hodgson need to know about Wigglesworth that playing alongside him week in, week out for Sale hasn't taught him? At some point, Care and Hodgson will be pairing up against the All Blacks and I'd far rather they got an easy 80 against the Barbarians than shake hands whilst the All Blacks thunder towards them.

                              Flood starts, no Allen. Richards! Grrr!

                              Otherwise happy enough.

                              Comment


                                #16
                                June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                Bugger.

                                Wales are shit. Sack Gatland!!!111eleven

                                Anyway, not suprised really, didn't stay up to watch it as drunk too much beer while watching the Ireland game and slept through my alarm clock.

                                Thought Nonu and Smith played well for the AB's, weather considering. I've always had a bit of a thing for Smith. Irish lineout, and Dan Carter, were mostly shithouse.

                                NZ by 20, SA by 25, Argentina by 10, and Awstralia by 15 next week.

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                  Wales' performance showed how much their Grand Slam owed to Martyn Williams, Mike Phillips and even old Tango boy Gavin Henson, as well as having Hook starting. Without them, they were utterly destroyed at the breakdown and had previous little threat at the half back axis. Shane Williams showed what a great winger he is, though. Superb finish.

                                  Ireland were the Ireland of old. Competitive for a time before doing something stupid (Horan turning a pressure relieving penalty into a chance for the All Blacks to nose ahead) and then fading at the end. O'Driscoll is a shadow of the player who destroyed the All Black midfield in previous games. He's lost that pace that used to make him a threat at 13. He'd be more suited to the inside centre role, half breaking and offloading. Mind you, the weather didn't help.

                                  England A was a bit of a joke. The US Eagles tried hard and did put themselves about, but the fact that a player like Jordan Crane looked like the greatest 8 ever to play puts it into context. And Dewi Morris wanking himself into a frenzy every time the "blond bombshell" got the ball didn't help. I thought Hodgson was MOTM, he was excellent.

                                  I see Easter's out with a broken hand (probably from beating his mighty chest with pride). Anything that advances the cause of Worsley is a terrible thing.

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                    15 M Brown (Harlequins)
                                    14 T Ojo (London Irish)
                                    13 M Tindall (Gloucester)
                                    12 O Barkley (Bath)
                                    11 D Strettle (Harlequins)

                                    10 C Hodgson (Sale)
                                    9 R Wigglesworth (Sale)

                                    1 A Sheridan (Sale Sharks)
                                    2 L Mears (Bath)
                                    3 M Stevens (Bath)
                                    4 T Palmer (Wasps)
                                    5 S Borthwick (Bath, captain)
                                    6 J Haskell (Wasps)
                                    7 T Rees (Wasps)
                                    8 L Narraway (Gloucester)

                                    Replacements:

                                    D Paice (London Irish), T Payne (Wasps), B Kay (Leicester), J Worsley (Wasps), D Care (Harlequins), J Noon (Newcastle), M Tait (Newcastle).

                                    WHAT THE FUCK IS NOON DOING ON THE BENCH? It gives us three options at outside centre - stonehands banger 1, stonehands banger 2 (lite) and something different if Tait is ever trusted there and no cover whatsoever at 12 if either Barkley or Hodgson get injured. I am shuddering to think what an England midfield of either Noon/Tindall (Jesus wept), Noon/Tait or Tindall/Tait would fail to achieve with those cretins at 12 smashing endlessly into Nonu and the loose forwards and dying on the ball. Flood is the obvious replacement centre as he can also cover fly half. However, he needed an ankle op before the tour and seems to have fucked it up against the Barbarians. Meanwhile, Allen is tearing it up for the "A" team. It also makes me think that Squeaky was picking the team throughout Ashton's reign given the consistency of fucked up centre combinations.

                                    It's also an unbelievably one-paced bench in terms of forwards. None of Paice, Payne, Kay or Worsley offers any threat with ball in hand either in terms of pace or handling. Kennedy must wonder what the fuck he's got to do to get into the team in front of that hopeless balding lummox Kay.

                                    Still, big congratulations to our brave lads from Quins (ooh look, a full back at full back) and at least we're only really arguing about the bench rather than looking at the team and going "WHAT?").

                                    Comment


                                      #19
                                      June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                      I know I'm talking to myself (where's GIK at?) but Wales have put Hook at full back for reasons best known to themselves.

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                        Saw the Hook thing today, and had a flashback to the England game in 2001, and Stephen Jones revolving door performance at fullback. I suppose putting The Doctor at 12 makes sense, in a sort of Gibbs/Parker hybrid beast way, but perhaps not really. I'll try and stay up to watch this one, I think.

                                        I have no idea what Gatland is doing, but am prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt for now, as he is not a Clueless Turkish Fuckmuppet.

                                        New Zealanders in general are not very happy about their team at the moment. In all honesty, assuming they get parity in the scrum, I think they will murder England. And then Balshaw will have to be flown out! MWAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!

                                        Comment


                                          #21
                                          June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                          If Balshaw is flown out I will shoot him at the airport, similar to the way the old bloke gets shot in The Godfather Part II.

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                            Good -

                                            New Zealand. (D'oh!)

                                            Rees. Went toe to toe with McCaw and looked pretty good. He will be a great player in years to come and with a bit more support!

                                            Haskell, but he faded after 60, unsurprisingly since he tried his guts out.

                                            Sheridan carrying the ball.

                                            We never gave up.

                                            Ojo took his chances, which is what a winger's supposed to do. An intercept try is a try and he collected Care's kick very well for his second.

                                            Care. MUST START.

                                            OK -

                                            Brown.

                                            The lineout poaching.

                                            Narraway, but he needs more power to retain ball off the back of a bad scrum, hang on and wait for the cavalry.

                                            Worsley added a bit of grunt when he came on and seemed to be able to actually carry the ball with purpose. Payne also seemed up for it.

                                            Poor -

                                            Total and utter failure to capitalise on their mistakes. We force a turn over and it's static, one up crash and slow ball, or worse, we drop it and hand it straight back. The All Blacks cut us to pieces when we coughed up the ball. It's what makes them so dangerous.

                                            Hodgson. Sadly confirmed what we suspected, although I'd love to see him behind a dominant international pack one day. Oh dear, well done for not bringing another fly half.

                                            The scrum. Was pushed back badly. I just think Mears, for all his loose work, may be too small, especially against the monsters the New Zealanders can summon.

                                            Palmer was awfully anonymous. About the only time I noticed him was when he was substituted and when he dropped the restart that gave NZ another scoring opportunity (which they took).Considering he's 29, he should have arrived by now.

                                            Wigglesworth. Care showed more in 10 minutes than he managed in 70. Another in the long, long, line of average England no 9s.

                                            The restarts were an absolute shambles. None of ours gave the chaser a chance to challenge, and we were very shaky on theirs.


                                            BUT -


                                            I don't think we should completely go OTT. We showed a bit of mongrel towards the end and didn't fall apart. We could easily have shipped 50 points and it looked at one point like we were going to but we stood up and in boxing terms lasted the full 12 rounds. I wouldn't take the team apart, just a few tweaks.

                                            1 Sheridan
                                            2 Paice
                                            3 Stevens
                                            4 Borthwick
                                            5 Kay
                                            6 Haskell
                                            7 Rees
                                            8 Narraway

                                            9 Care
                                            10 Flood

                                            11 Strettle
                                            12 Barkley
                                            13 Tindall
                                            14 Ojo
                                            15 Brown

                                            Replacements

                                            16 Payne
                                            17 Hartley
                                            18 Kennedy
                                            19 Tait
                                            20 Richards
                                            21 Noon
                                            22 Worsley

                                            Comment


                                              #23
                                              June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                              Much improved performance from us though. Final scoreline was very harsh. That last try was a double movement. Don't understand why the ref bottled it and went to the TMO. Oh yeah it was in Pretoria.

                                              Comment


                                                #24
                                                June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                                Great try by Williams (again). Thank heavens for people like him showing that the small guys have a place in rugby as much as the muscle bound freaks.

                                                Comment


                                                  #25
                                                  June SH tours - Whippings ahoy (as usual)

                                                  Yeah it was a great try but there has been talk of it being the greatest try ever scored by a Welshman, which is patently ridiculous.

                                                  Comment

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