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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    I’m sure someone else can satirise it properly, but did anyone else watch in horror as Tim Westwood gave the “News of the World’s” forthcoming WC supplement the full big dog treatment in the first break of “You Have Been Watching” last night? I think someone should provide a youtube link, I would if I could.

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      I've just seen a traumatic advert

      George: Hofmeister bear wrote:
      I'm sure I've just seen Peter Beardsley flogging La-Z Boy chairs on the telly.
      That would be Laurent Robert.

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        I've just seen a traumatic advert

        The Countryfile gag in the opening segment of YHBW last night had me in total hysterics.

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          I've just seen a traumatic advert

          I’m sure someone else can satirise it properly, but did anyone else watch in horror as Tim Westwood gave the “News of the World’s” forthcoming WC supplement the full big dog treatment in the first break of “You Have Been Watching” last night? I think someone should provide a youtube link, I would if I could.

          Yes, I did. The phrase 'what the fucking hell is this?' aligned itself pointedly with another that went 'If you don't get off my television screen right fucking now, I might find out where you are and kill you slowly'. Besides, nothing raises the blood pressure more than a telly ad heralding that cuntish parade of shit.

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            I've just seen a traumatic advert

            The Countryfile gag in the opening segment of YHBW last night had me in total hysterics.

            Trying not to turn the thread into another direction (as long as ads appear on t' telly, this thread will have everlasting life), but I was immensely saddened by last night's edition even though I was laughing my tits off at most of it. Partly because it's not exactly fun to notice that most television - not just from ourselves, but around the world - that Brooker spotlights has reached a nadir and is now scraping its way through subterranea and is now heading towards the centre of the earth. While simultaneously being aghast and having my laugh buttons pushed by shit such as 'Style By Jury' and those fat-people-in-boot-camp shows, not to mention those which show models being whacked by catwalk pendulums (no, really), a dawning realisation hit me that television is slowly being put into the hands of the mentally subnormal, who are making it for an audience who should never be let near sharp objects. It isn't being made by people with any demographic in mind, just by ill people.

            Who would've known that when Clive James invited us to laugh at the strange fuckers on worldwide television, he actually showed us the soft, innocuous end of the wedge. Turn the clock forward and you've got parodic, evil shit.

            Really, really bad stuff.

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              I've just seen a traumatic advert

              ian.64 wrote:
              The Countryfile gag in the opening segment of YHBW last night had me in total hysterics.

              Trying not to turn the thread into another direction (as long as ads appear on t' telly, this thread will have everlasting life), but I was immensely saddened by last night's edition even though I was laughing my tits off at most of it. Partly because it's not exactly fun to notice that most television - not just from ourselves, but around the world - that Brooker spotlights has reached a nadir and is now scraping its way through subterranea and is now heading towards the centre of the earth. While simultaneously being aghast and having my laugh buttons pushed by shit such as 'Style By Jury' and those fat-people-in-boot-camp shows, not to mention those which show models being whacked by catwalk pendulums (no, really), a dawning realisation hit me that television is slowly being put into the hands of the mentally subnormal, who are making it for an audience who should never be let near sharp objects. It isn't being made by people with any demographic in mind, just by ill people.

              Who would've known that when Clive James invited us to laugh at the strange fuckers on worldwide television, he actually showed us the soft, innocuous end of the wedge. Turn the clock forward and you've got parodic, evil shit.

              Really, really bad stuff.
              Nailed it there Ian. I did like the simplicity of coming up with the idea that nobody called Lord Sugar should be let loose with kids due to having a name like a pimp though.

              The pendulum thing was both brilliant and depressing at the same time.

              The guy on the fat people show who was afflicted with the screaming ab-dabs when he was counting down from thirty while the victims were running on a treadmill was particularly worrying. Personally I'd have had him taken to the bammy slam and given the big boned folks a burger.

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                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                On a slight tangent the Robin Hood ad on the WSC home page is annoying as fuck.

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                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                  RobM wrote:
                  On a slight tangent the Robin Hood ad on the WSC home page is annoying as fuck.
                  THIS.

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                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                    Again with the “You Have Been Watching”, there was an ad before it started last night with a woman going in her freezer to be surprised by an animated polar bear holed up in there, who started giving her shit for keeping some Iceland-looking fish fingers in there and continued remonstrating with her on the basis that they don’t contain the essential omega-alphas that Birds* Eye do, and dripped pure menace as he told the unhappy shopper that he’d be watching her.
                    I mean, it’s not that I didn’t like it, as it’s impossible to dislike anything with polar bears in, but I’m not used to seeing advertising working on people’s fears so unashamedly.

                    * genuinely not sure here if I need to visited by the Apostrophe Police in the middle of the night, dazzled by their torches and dragged from my bed in the knack, made to kneel in the gutter as they discharge a pistol at my temple and then strung from the telphone wires like a pair of trainers.

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                      I've just seen a traumatic advert

                      ian.64 wrote:
                      I’m sure someone else can satirise it properly, but did anyone else watch in horror as Tim Westwood gave the “News of the World’s” forthcoming WC supplement the full big dog treatment in the first break of “You Have Been Watching” last night? I think someone should provide a youtube link, I would if I could.

                      Yes, I did. The phrase 'what the fucking hell is this?' aligned itself pointedly with another that went 'If you don't get off my television screen right fucking now, I might find out where you are and kill you slowly'. Besides, nothing raises the blood pressure more than a telly ad heralding that cuntish parade of shit.
                      A guy I lived with in my final year at uni was sitting in a bar with one of his friends in Manchester one Saturday afternoon in early 2006 when Tim Westwood walked in, ordered a round of drinks for his entourage as they filed through the door, and then when he was told how much it would cost, started mouthing off at the barmaid. Exactly the kind of 'I'm Tim Westwood me, I don't pay for drinks!' shit you'd expect from him.

                      At one point he actually implored of the barmaid (who knew full well who he was and had already told him several times he wasn't getting any drinks for free), 'don't you know who I am?!' at which point my mate's mate - a very large chap - turned round from his bar stool and said to Westwood, 'Yes mate, we know who you are. You're a fucking twat. Now piss off.'

                      Tim Westwood very sheepishly did as he was told.

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                        I've just seen a traumatic advert

                        Carnivorous Vulgaris wrote:
                        I just watched that link. By Carlsberg's normal standards I'm actually quite impressed with it. I struggled not to vomit all the way through, and actually found myself getting really quite angry the longer it went on, and then came the last shot, looking up the staircase at (I presume) David Beckham with the lion standing next to him and 'men of England, it's time to join the immortals,' and I had to quickly throw my hands up to my face for fear of laughing snot all over my keyboard.

                        What Felicity said about the comments underneath it, though.

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                          I've just seen a traumatic advert

                          A guy I lived with in my final year at uni was sitting in a bar with one of his friends in Manchester one Saturday afternoon in early 2006 when Tim Westwood walked in, ordered a round of drinks for his entourage as they filed through the door, and then when he was told how much it would cost, started mouthing off at the barmaid. Exactly the kind of 'I'm Tim Westwood me, I don't pay for drinks!' shit you'd expect from him.

                          At one point he actually implored of the barmaid (who knew full well who he was and had already told him several times he wasn't getting any drinks for free), 'don't you know who I am?!' at which point my mate's mate - a very large chap - turned round from his bar stool and said to Westwood, 'Yes mate, we know who you are. You're a fucking twat. Now piss off.'

                          Tim Westwood very sheepishly did as he was told.


                          Applause for both the story and your mate's mate. Well played, that man.

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                            I've just seen a traumatic advert

                            I mean, it’s not that I didn’t like it, as it’s impossible to dislike anything with polar bears in, but I’m not used to seeing advertising working on people’s fears so unashamedly.
                            Pretty much all advertising addressed at parents plays on their fears unashamedly. "Do you want your children to grow up unhappy, thick and unhealthy? Well, you'd better buy our product then." My favourite one of these is (surprisingly) the men's hair dye one, which basically has some poor bloke's kids imploring him to dye his scarcely greying hair so that they can have a new mummy.

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                              I've just seen a traumatic advert

                              Badly Dubbed Daddy to Badly Dubbed Daughter (who has sent him out to get a job and not mope around the house lamenting the passing years): "I'm going to need...more ties!"

                              Bloody awful.

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                                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                Badly Dubbed Daddy to Badly Dubbed Daughter (who has sent him out to get a job and not mope around the house lamenting the passing years): "I'm going to need...more ties!"

                                Bloody awful.


                                God, yes. I'm also amused by the ad's underlying assertion that hair colour will get you employed. Were that the case then millions of potential job seekers need only face their potential employer, repeatedly point at their heads and murmur 'mahogany brown' while said employer readies the contract and the keys to a company car.

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                                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                  Ah, come on, he had a new tie as well. The other candidates must have fled even before the interviews began when he walked in.

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                                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                    Incidentally, anyone else hear that French Connection ad "Zees ees ze wooman..." that was on Spotify a while back? "Ze men, zey come - ees eet ze dress wis ze...petit fleurs? Ah! You cannot see zem... it matters not."

                                    It was so ludicrous that I was waiting for a punchline right the way through to the end, but it was real.

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                                      I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                      Incidentally, anyone else hear that French Connection ad "Zees ees ze wooman..." that was on Spotify a while back? "Ze men, zey come - ees eet ze dress wis ze...petit fleurs? Ah! You cannot see zem... it matters not."

                                      Did this have anything to do with Ferrero Rocher, by any chance?

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                                        I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                        There's a lot of advert related bile sloshing around here today. I haven't seen any of these. I recommend not watching actual telly but stealing it or watching it online. I only ever see the ads they have on 4od and there's only about five of them - yogurt and dishwasher stuff and so on. But sometimes that go compare cunt appears. You have to be quick then to turn the sound off or you're fucked for the rest of the day with that racket in your head.

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                                          I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                          Yes, I find watching TV online, and having music on rather than sports commentary or 'analysis' is the best way to keep my blood pressure down to acceptable levels.

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                                            I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                            We Buy Any Car just keeps spreading its malign influence, like cancer viewed at high speed.

                                            Edit: Have we done the the Carling "mates" pissing all over everything from a great height?

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                                              I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                              We Buy Any Car ticks all manner of boxes: Earworm, unfunny, ubiquitous and now clambering aboard the football bandwagon.

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                                                I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                I liked We buy any car when it was little cartoon cars. My strategy has worked in that I've not seen the football related one. Oh there was one truly abominable horror on 4od that I did see - John Barnes and mars bars.

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                                                  I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                  I don't think Mars had any idea of John Barnes' waistline before they decided to use him for their World Cup ad. On the other hand Keith Allen seems to have got younger.

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                                                    I've just seen a traumatic advert

                                                    Heh. That was my first thought too when I saw the ad: "Blimey, Barnes has got fat".

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