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  1. #51

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    I have yet to see it but apparently Dale Winton as done one of those 'flog us yer gold' adverts. Times must be hard.

  2. #52
    Guest

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    The Thomas Cock ad hasn't gone unnoticed by this week's Guardian Football Weekly podcast.

  3. #53
    Toby Gymshorts's Avatar
    I'm nervous and my socks are too loose.
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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Anne Diamond has also jumped on the gold-flogging horse. Like she needed to be any more annoying.

  4. #54
    Guest

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Gerontophile wrote:
    We have a winner:

    The Halifax radio station advert.

    CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS, the lot of them.
    Jesus Christ that is fucking awful.

    As for the Redknapp, why isn't Harry there with a knotted hanky on his head reading the Daily Star in a deck chair?

  5. #55
    Guest

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Craig Doyle wants to watch out - that Everest lot have got form

  6. #56

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Activia always winds me up. The whole charade of Ms McCutcheon being just an ordinary gal pounding the beat saying that we should give ourselves 'tummy loving care'.

    Using 'Gimme Some Lovin' merely adds insult to injury to this ad.

    It's yogurt, people. Only you don't need a spoon. There, Activia, I've just saved you a fortune in advertising costs.

  7. #57

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    MarcB wrote:
    Craig Doyle wants to watch out - that Everest lot have got form
    They might do better when cold calling the public if they offered a free conservatory to anyone willing to top Doyle, who takes smugness to a whole new level.

    Let's face it. You didn't think Everest would be doing that now. Did you?

  8. #58
    Bordeaux Education's Avatar
    Have a good time all the time, that's my philosophy, Marty!
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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    I am enjoying the girlfriend-swapping with slight lesbian undertones* Volvo advert

    *not a tribute band

  9. #59
    Sean of the Shed's Avatar
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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Gerontophile wrote:
    We have a winner:

    The Halifax radio station advert.

    CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANTS, the lot of them.
    Jesus, that is truly awful. I thought Howard fucking Brown flying around on his flying fucking swan was annoying, but I may start a campaign to get him back after seeing that gaggle of mother-fuckers.

  10. #60
    Sean of the Shed's Avatar
    Mary Berry's got a job, so why don't you get a job?
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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    On reflection, I probably won't actually.

  11. #61

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    The Halifax ad is just self-aware enough for me not to hate it the first time I saw it. There is no chance of me ever sitting through it again though.

  12. #62
    Guest

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    On the other hand, I find this a very watchable advert.

  13. #63
    Felicity, I guess so's Avatar
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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Is there any significance in the fact that jamie gets his kit off in the ad whereas louise never gets the swimsuit out?

    (I too saw it too often during the FA Cup weekend not to try to find some deeper meaning in it)

  14. #64

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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Bored of Education wrote:
    I am enjoying the girlfriend-swapping with slight lesbian undertones* Volvo advert

    *not a tribute band
    Which advert is this?

  15. #65

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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    There is a new version of the WeBuyAnyCar advert (well, new to me).

    All singing, all dancing. Jesus.

  16. #66

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    You lot don't know you're born. Adverts down here are intrustive, patronising and occasionally downright offensive. A KFC ad was recently pulled after complaints about its use of racial stereotypes. I wrote a bit about it here: http://davidsquires.wordpress.com/.

    An advert depicting a man using a bucket of fried chicken to pacify a group of rowdy West Indian cricket supporters was last week pulled from Australian television screens by KFC's American wing (or was it a leg? It's hard to tell with KFC). Whether this use of a lazy racial stereotype was intentional is unclear, but the controversy has at least highlighted the awfulness of the recent series of KFC adverts.

    Transmitted to coincide with their sponsorship of Channel Nine's cricket coverage, the ads, titled 'The KFC Cricket Survival Guide' feature a character called 'Mick'. We know he's called Mick, because his doting friends call him Mick, he refers to himself as Mick, and he has 'Mick' printed on the back of his yellow Australia cricket jersey. This is either the only top he owns, or, like Jeff Goldblum in 'The Fly', Mick has opted to fill his wardrobe with a row of identical shirts, thus allowing him precious time to focus on loftier issues - in this case, the acquisition of deep fried poultry.

    In creating Mick, KFC have fathered a character rivalled only in his smugness by Jamie and Louise Redknapp. At least Thomas Cook have the excuse that there's only so much you can do with a Redknapp (feeding them into a wood-chipper would be my preferred option, but that might not sell package holidays). KFC, however, had a blank page, yet have chosen to present an arrogant, unblinking, sociopath as an everyman for consumers to identify with. A Patrick Bateman for Generation Y. At least his sassy cool wasn't signified by the wearing of a baseball cap backwards and a pair of Ray-Bans, which shows creative progress of a sort.

    Mick's passion for cricket and junk food holds no respect for his fellow man or social convention. Watch as he steals the chicken burger from the lifeless hands of a man struck dead by a cricket ball! Yawn as he bribes a pitch-side security guard with a chicken wrap in order to gain a better view! Sigh as he impersonates a policeman to rob cricket tickets from a tout in a Millwall T-shirt (this is the advert where you actually want lazy stereotypes to be employed, with the Millwall fan exacting immediate revenge, reducing Mick to a grim smear of raspberry jam).

    In another episode, Mick removes the batteries from the TV remote of his girlfriend's parents who don't want to watch the cricket, the insolent fools. The beige-clad killjoys probably couldn't even explain the intricacies of the Duckworth Lewis method, let alone recite the contents of a KFC Super Variety Bucket. They're lucky Mick lets them escape with their miserable lives. The removal of the batteries is particularly cruel, as the future in-laws will need that remote to be fully operational later when the aggressive rhythmic thudding of their daughter's headboard reaches a crescendo as a Zinger Meal-fuelled Mick works through his frustration at a questionable LBW decision.

    A brief insight into Mick's domestic arrangements is provided with an advert set in his home. Scattered in his living room are the objects advertisers consider necessary for a cool dude to possess - a dartboard (name one cool person who doesn't play darts), electric guitars, Playstation 2 controllers, a life-sized sculpture of Ricky Ponting crafted from human skin (off-screen) etc. The plot reveals his enjoyment of a televised cricket match being interrupted by two flatmates babbling excitedly about trivialities that involve neither bat and ball sports nor breadcrumbed cock (you heard me). When Mick stares into the camera and breathes, "Nothing a KFC Toasted Pocketful won't fix", he really means, "Nothing a claw hammer and a vat of sulphuric acid won't fix". Their days are numbered.

    If Mick wants to live with people capable of remaining silent for five days, he should maybe consider moving into a monastery or a morgue (his dietary habits will see him end up there soon enough anyway). Alternatively, he could always acquire a portable television and watch the test match in the chicken-carcass-strewn surroundings of his bedroom. If he spent less money on takeaways he might even be able to afford a place of his own and some new clothes.

    The answer as to how Mick always seems to have such ready access to fried chicken is answered when it transpires that he has taken up lodgings next to a KFC outlet. One hopes that Mick negotiated a fair deal with the previous owners, but it's more likely that they are stacked in the basement amidst tubs of uneaten coleslaw.

    Mick won't be quite as smug when his metabolism catches up with him and he's ravaged by irritable bowel syndrome; his tight skin sagging and sallow, floppy fringe broken and greying; his electric guitar replaced with a leaflet on diabetes. Sadly, Mick's casually racist attitudes about black people have robbed us of that sight. We'll never get to see his girlfriend leave him when his obsessive behaviour and rotting clothes become too much to bear, nor will we ever be treated to the sight of him weeping greasy tears into a cardboard bucket of regurgitated hen. For that, I hate Mick.

  17. #67

    I've just seen a traumatic advert


  18. #68

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    "The beige-clad killjoys"

    Perhaps they only want to watch when NZ are playing.

    Great post, BDG. Will check out your blog.

  19. #69

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Heh, cheers Etienne, I hadn't considered that.

  20. #70

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Applause.

  21. #71

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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    An advert that's pissing me off royally: the government ones about crime prevention featuring the couple asking each other whether they've left the back door unlocked, left a laptop open in the living room, left a bank statement out in the kitchen, etc.

    I am probably - after several pints - misreading this badly, but how is this not like blaming the victim for the crime? Isn't this in the same ballpark as rape victims being blamed for being provocatively dressed?

  22. #72
    Gerontophile's Avatar
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    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    Two more for the collection.

    Credit Agricole: 'Time to start Green Banking', which is annoying enough, but Sean Connery does the voiceover, and appears for precisely 3 seconds, looking as if someone has taken a steam iron to his face.

    The next: e-harmony.com which is an internet dating site. It talks of matching personality, intellect, and my favourite, 'values', which means fuckwits can admit to their fuckwittery, and match with like-minded fuckwits, and stop two other people being miserable.

  23. #73
    Guest

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    At least it's not Christmas any more and all those perfume (sorry, fraagraance) ads have stopped. All those dozy looking fuckers finding their own narcissistic gorgeousness thrilling/burdensome/wearying and spending their days chasing kites down streets. The ennui-stricken woman staring into the mirror "I may be looking for something. I may be looking for nothing. I don't know but I'll know when I find it." (If you're looking for nothing, how?)

    Awful, flatulent gusts of pretentiousness. Gah. They all turned into WeightWatchers ads once Christmas was over.

  24. #74

    I've just seen a traumatic advert

    At least you don't see John Stalker trying to flog fucking garage doors anymore.

  25. #75

    I've just seen a traumatic advert


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