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    Court hears couple's sex sessions

    "The noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain. I cannot describe the noise. I have never ever heard anything like it."



    (A friend of mine amusingly captioned this photo "Yazoo, yesterday")

    #2
    Court hears couple's sex sessions

    Fantastic.

    "I did not understand why people asked me to be quiet because to me it is normal. I didn't understand where they were coming from."

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      #3
      Court hears couple's sex sessions

      I hate when newspapers &c say 'sex sessions'. Sessions. It sounds so kind of sordid and mechanical and joyless. Which is obv why they say it, but it's nasty.

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        #4
        Court hears couple's sex sessions

        I was also caught hearing a couple's sex sessions. Arf, etc.

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          #5
          Court hears couple's sex sessions

          This headline is funnier.

          "Yazoo" is brilliant. Reminds me, I must give "Alf" another spin on the turntable soon, I'd forgotten how good it was.

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            #6
            Court hears couple's sex sessions

            "May it please the court..."

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              #7
              Court hears couple's sex sessions

              "I put it to you..."

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                #8
                Court hears couple's sex sessions

                Oh, come come, Mrs Cartwright!

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                  #9
                  Court hears couple's sex sessions

                  "After I got the Noise Abatement Notice I tried to control it. I even tried to use a pillow (over her face) to try and lessen the noise."
                  Even in the context of what the thread is about, this seems like oversharing.

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                    #10
                    Court hears couple's sex sessions

                    There's been a poster on the main Sunderland Fans Forum with the board name of Stephen Cartwright for over three years.
                    His "location" has been listed as "making the wife scream" for as long as I can remember.....and he seems to know a helluvalot about this case.
                    He's on there all the bloody time but strangely not for very long today.

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                      #11
                      Court hears couple's sex sessions

                      "All rise"

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                        #12
                        Court hears couple's sex sessions

                        "The court is now in session."

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                          #13
                          Court hears couple's sex sessions

                          He ought to be bloody well hung.

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                            #14
                            Court hears couple's sex sessions

                            "Come upstairs, darling. I fancy a sex session."

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                              #15
                              Court hears couple's sex sessions

                              Why on Earth... wrote:
                              He ought to be bloody well hung.
                              Well, quite! She sounds like she's getting a lethal injection herself.

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                                #16
                                Court hears couple's sex sessions

                                I think I've mentioned before that the bloke here is a delivery man for a Chinese takeaway in the Washington area, according to a colleague who lives there. Not sure if his wife orders the cream of sum yung guy. I know, very poor.

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                                  #17
                                  Court hears couple's sex sessions

                                  Looks like it didn't shut her up for long.

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                                    #18
                                    Court hears couple's sex sessions

                                    How far can you go with this 'It's normal to me, I can't do it without screeching at 40 decibels' stuff? I mean, there's lots of aspects of life in which we have to compromise what we feel comes naturally, so to speak, in order to respect other members of society &c blah blah. Is it really really that impossible to learn to be a bit quieter?

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                                      #19
                                      Court hears couple's sex sessions

                                      Couldn't the neighbours have a whipround and buy her a ball-gag?

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                                        #20
                                        Court hears couple's sex sessions

                                        A whip round? Aren't they in enough trouble?

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                                          #21
                                          Court hears couple's sex sessions

                                          Stumpy Pepys wrote:
                                          Couldn't the neighbours have a whipround and buy her a ball-gag?
                                          I believe the normal thing is for the court to issue the gagging order.

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