Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Return of the night shift

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #51
    Return of the night shift

    Thanks for that Inca. I usually like Calvin Trillin's work.

    I've heard it said that in Texas "barbecue beef" is redundant and in the rest of the south it's an oxymoron.

    Comment


      #52
      Return of the night shift

      Jesus I'm late on here tonight. I finished work at 1, having set up the club ready for Saturday, thus giving me two days of fuck all to do. Despite this, I only just got in. This is due to me meeting up with a few mates for a drink. One of them, Phil, has knocked Teddy Sheringham off his perch as 'A Northerner's Archetypal View Of A Londoner' and he loves it.

      Now. I'm not shy. In my terrible, heady days, I mixed with gypsies, tramps and thieves. But the stories Phil told would have made the Brothers Grimm (I think they were called Hans, Christian, and Anderson) reach for their word processors.

      The guy he described, a mate of his, he made sound like a terrible mix of Luca Brasi, the Gruffalo, and Deborah Meaden. He was a kettle wielding, kidnapping, chalet dwelling mother fucker of serious intent. And Phil waxed lyrical for so long, I almost stayed up to get a McDonald's breakfast.

      Comment


        #53
        Return of the night shift

        There's a jazz band playing in the pub. Right beneath my room. I'm sat in bed, with a brew, on my laptop, listening to excellent jazz music. Nice.

        Comment


          #54
          Return of the night shift

          Hans and Christian were indeed brothers from Germany, but Anderson was their Brazilian cousin.

          Comment


            #55
            Return of the night shift

            They're playing Blue Moon, the cunts.

            Comment


              #56
              Return of the night shift

              I just had the most amazing experience of my life.

              Comment


                #57
                Return of the night shift

                Did it involve squirrels or the aurora borealis?

                Comment


                  #58
                  Return of the night shift

                  So, it's 3.00. I stay up for the night shift. "Ian, it's a bit like the best episode of "The Crystal Maze" ever written. If you're lucky, the blue lion out of "Animal Kwackers" - Roary? - will turn up and serenade you with a selection of Tony Bennett songs. And the thing about that is that it will be scary looking blue lion singing them", they tell me.

                  So, here I am. And it's dead. There is tumbleweed floating across this thread. On the television, meanwhile, Vic Reeves is setting fire to a mannequin wrapped in bacon.

                  Don't let me down, night shift.

                  Comment


                    #59
                    Return of the night shift

                    I'm here. EIM is being a vicious bastard by not letting us know more about his transcendental experience. It's been almost 24 hours. Perhaps he's been carried off into the bliss of the Astral plane.

                    Bet it had something to do with food. Which makes me angry because I chipped a tooth badly today and I'm now completely self-conscious about opening my mouth. I may have to stick with soup until I go to a dentist.

                    Comment


                      #60
                      Return of the night shift

                      Well how's this for party tastic. I'm here, it's 3.07am and i'm working til 7, on my birthday!

                      Comment


                        #61
                        Return of the night shift

                        Moral of the story, get your leave request in sooner.

                        Still, who else but me can listen to quite so many shit ads on spotify right now?

                        Exactly.

                        Comment


                          #62
                          Return of the night shift

                          Many happy returns, Barndoorio. If you're not wearing a party hat, you should be. Also, I am watching a programme on Sky 3 called "Guilty", which is kind of like a cross between "Trisha" and a game show from 1986. At least it looks like a game show from 1986.

                          Maybe EIM's transcendental experience was so transcendental that he has managed to elevate himself to a higher mental plane. Greggs can do that to a man.

                          Comment


                            #63
                            Return of the night shift

                            It's taken me this long to recover from the whole ordeal. If I hadn't woken up clutching a pack of half a dozen bread rolls, I'd have assumed I was in the throws of sambuca delusion.

                            Last night, well, early Yesterday morning now, I met the Greggs Man. I'd heard of him before, of course, but I assumed he was a myth. A story created to make children behave themselves. If you're good, they'd say, you'll meet the Greggs Man. A man laden down with pasties, sarnies, bread and snacks. A man so keen to let you have these things, he'll give them to you for free.

                            I was walking through town on my way home when I saw him. He had four trays of goodies. Big trays. I asked him if he was the Greggs Man, he said nowt, just nodded. I asked if I could take something. He said I could help myself.

                            I took four pasties, the half a dozen bread rolls, a chicken and bacon sandwich. My mate Richie took five pasties. We ran back to Richie's where we gorged on baked goods until we couldn't move. Never has a roast chicken slice tasted so good. The chicken fajita lattice tasted as good as it always does. The steak bake was quintessentially Greggs.

                            It's half three. He's due again soon. I'm torn as to what to do: Go get Greggs and stay up and eat them. Or go to bed and get some kip before I go to the football tomorrow. If I could somehow marry the two options up, I'd probably die, or explode, or bring about the collapse of the monarchy and then the universe.

                            That's a risk worth taking, I think.

                            Comment


                              #64
                              Return of the night shift

                              Wot nightshift? This thread illustrates the worst kind of Euro-chauvinism, I've just finished dinner and it's still broad daylight outside, but that doesn't count does it. Oh no! The whole world has to revolve around you lot. Well I'm telling you I've had enough. Right here and now I'm announcing the formation of the Greenwich Meridian Liberation Army, that's right GuMuLA. Hear the word and tremble and be prepared to eat lunch in darkness for evermore.

                              Comment


                                #65
                                Return of the night shift

                                Easy soldier. Just wait until it's night where you are, then post.

                                By dinner, do you mean dinner, or do you mean tea?

                                Comment


                                  #66
                                  Return of the night shift

                                  Easy soldier. Just wait until it's night where you are, then post.

                                  Why would I do that? I'll be in bed then.

                                  I mean supper...I think...definitely not tea anyway.

                                  Comment


                                    #67
                                    Return of the night shift

                                    Wow. Greggs was only an educated guess on my part. How long until he turns up? Is this like meeting Father Christmas, but every week?

                                    Comment


                                      #68
                                      Return of the night shift

                                      He comes every morning. Every fucking morning. He drops off new stock, and picks up the old. And as he has to bin the old, he just hands it out. Gives it away. It's just fucking phenomenal.

                                      AdeC - Breakfast, dinner, tea. Supper to me is a kebab after drinking. Or four pasties and a sarnie from the Greggs man, for that matter.

                                      Comment


                                        #69
                                        Return of the night shift

                                        I have a friend who is a little obsessed with taking photographs of Greggs shops in London. Actually, I might have told you that before.

                                        Comment


                                          #70
                                          Return of the night shift

                                          I've got some Denis Quaid movie on at the moment, Flesh and Bone also starring a very young Paltrow.

                                          Started with a cheery birthday happy type scene of a whole family being shot dead during a robbery.

                                          Jolly good.

                                          I'm also catching little tiny flies that have born from an old apple core in the bin.

                                          You just can't buy birthday memories like this.

                                          I'd kill for a greggs sausage and bean right now.

                                          Comment


                                            #71
                                            Return of the night shift

                                            Happy birthday.

                                            I was so happy when they returned the sausage and bean melt to the original recipe. The new version they tried out was fucking shite.

                                            Apples, eh? They're hard work.

                                            Comment


                                              #72
                                              Return of the night shift

                                              Did america really used to have arcade attractions of multi coloured chickens? A bit like those laughing policemen but with a live chicken died blue or green?

                                              Have I been up to long?

                                              Comment


                                                #73
                                                Return of the night shift

                                                http://www.lostateminor.com/2009/07/24/multi-colored-chickens/

                                                I kind of suspect that buying one of them might make my cat do this:

                                                Comment


                                                  #74
                                                  Return of the night shift

                                                  PS: Yes, I do have a clock with a pug's face on it on my living room wall. I am 37 the week after next.

                                                  Comment


                                                    #75
                                                    Return of the night shift

                                                    no apple for me today, this must be weeks old and I'm too lazy to have emptied the bing.

                                                    I have had a millionaire shortbread and a can of relentless tonight.

                                                    I turned the lights off as this movie was dark at the start and I couldn't see it properly, then all the flies came over to the screens to investigate the light.

                                                    Melanie Griffith is in this movie, back whe she was pretty.

                                                    Comment

                                                    Working...
                                                    X