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Dog Shit v Cat Shit

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    #1

    Dog Shit v Cat Shit

    So, the choice that remains is Man U v Chelsea (which'll be horrible, because I'll be forced to want Man U to win) or Man U v Liverpool (which'll be horrible, because I'm going to have to listen to my fake MancScouse mates - who have never been to Anfield or Old Trafford EVER - having pointless arguments for the rest of the fucking year, like the bitch-arse glory-hunting JUDASES they are).

    Association Football, I hate you, you pissy-knickered trollop. Give me back my heart. It's all I had to give you. And I'll never be in love AGAIN.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Dog Shit v Cat Shit

    David Lacey agrees.

    Comment

      #3
      Dog Shit v Cat Shit

      It'd be nice to see Liverpool try and win it on the pitch rather than this Drogba related sledging that's going on now. Grant has, on the whole, handled the crass bollocks emanating from Benitez pretty well.

      C'mon Chelsea. Then do Moanchester in the final.

      Comment

        #4
        Dog Shit v Cat Shit

        Come on, Cat Shit!

        Comment

          #5
          Dog Shit v Cat Shit

          I just went for a lunchtime run on the south bank.

          As I ran past the festival hall I see a group of white-tracksuited boys strolling towards me. As they come closer, I see that one of them is Peter Crouch and that I have chanced across the Liverpool squad. Footballers are small aren't they? Even Crouch didn't seem that imposing.

          In a fit of enthusiasm I shouted 'good luck!' and gave a little clap. Dirk Kuyt nodded in thanks. What a polite young man he is. I'll never disparage him again now. I then nodded at Rafa, who nodded back (we bonded - big time) and I realised why he's grown that goatee. It's utterly hypnotic. I was drawn to it, feeling like the Millenium Falcon trapped in the Death Star's tractor beam. It must seriously psych out the other managers.

          The last thing I noticed was Steven G. Whereas the other players were walking in little knots of twos and threes, the G-Force was on his own, a man apart, with his hood pulled up and a scowl on his face. That is one tortured soul right there, poor lamb.

          Comment

            #6
            Dog Shit v Cat Shit

            Sorry SR, but it's horrible.

            Every time a mate of ours has a house party, a huge, verge-of-fisticuffs argument breaks out about Manchester fucking United and fucking Liverpool. And then me and a Notts County-supporting mate can't hold it back any longer and shout "SO WHAT PART OF LIVERPOOL IS HYSON GREEN IN AGAIN, YOU TRAITORS? YOU'RE FROM FUCKING NOTTS! SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT!"

            Comment

              #7
              Dog Shit v Cat Shit

              marsupialman wrote:
              I then nodded at Rafa, who nodded back (we bonded - big time) and I realised why he's grown that goatee. It's utterly hypnotic. I was drawn to it, feeling like the Millenium Falcon trapped in the Death Star's tractor beam. It must seriously psych out the other managers.
              There's even more of a reason to it than that...

              Comment

                #8
                Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                Nishlord wrote:
                Sorry SR, but it's horrible.

                Every time a mate of ours has a house party, a huge, verge-of-fisticuffs argument breaks out about Manchester fucking United and fucking Liverpool. And then me and a Notts County-supporting mate can't hold it back any longer and shout "SO WHAT PART OF LIVERPOOL IS HYSON GREEN IN AGAIN, YOU TRAITORS? YOU'RE FROM FUCKING NOTTS! SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT!"
                Much as I agree with your sentiments, perhaps just stop having the parties. Or get new mates.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                  Harry Carpenter wrote:
                  Nishlord wrote:
                  Sorry SR, but it's horrible.

                  Every time a mate of ours has a house party, a huge, verge-of-fisticuffs argument breaks out about Manchester fucking United and fucking Liverpool. And then me and a Notts County-supporting mate can't hold it back any longer and shout "SO WHAT PART OF LIVERPOOL IS HYSON GREEN IN AGAIN, YOU TRAITORS? YOU'RE FROM FUCKING NOTTS! SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT!"
                  Much as I agree with your sentiments, perhaps just stop having the parties. Or get new mates.
                  Porthcawl - Cardiff: 29 miles
                  Porthcawl - Swansea: 18 miles

                  Who do you support, again?

                  (distances from Multimap.com)

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                    I am the Dawg

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                      Spearmint Rhino wrote:
                      Harry Carpenter wrote:
                      Nishlord wrote:
                      Sorry SR, but it's horrible.

                      Every time a mate of ours has a house party, a huge, verge-of-fisticuffs argument breaks out about Manchester fucking United and fucking Liverpool. And then me and a Notts County-supporting mate can't hold it back any longer and shout "SO WHAT PART OF LIVERPOOL IS HYSON GREEN IN AGAIN, YOU TRAITORS? YOU'RE FROM FUCKING NOTTS! SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT!"
                      Much as I agree with your sentiments, perhaps just stop having the parties. Or get new mates.
                      Porthcawl - Cardiff: 29 miles
                      Porthcawl - Swansea: 18 miles

                      Who do you support, again?

                      (distances from Multimap.com)
                      Cardiff St David's Hospital - Ninian Park: 0.9 miles.

                      You should know SR, if you had any scruples then FA Cup Finalists Cardiff City (c) would be your team too (Barry - Liverpool: 217 Miles).

                      Are you really claiming that me choosing the team from the City I and my mother and father were born in and was the centre of my life for all my formative years is akin to plastic supporters of the "the big four"?

                      Even you wouldn't try something that ridiculous , surely?

                      Edit: you also appear to be missing my point. I was suggesting to Nishlord to get new mates because they fought at parties, not because of who they supported. Although...

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                        Porthkerry Rd - Jenner Park: 0.5 miles.

                        (You know very well I was only born in Cardiff because Barry didn't have a maternity ward, and I've never lived in Cardiff.)

                        In terms of Welsh football, I support my very nearest club in the Welsh league.

                        Beyond that, in terms of the English system, all bets are off. If you're not gonna support your hometown club, or your hometown club isn't actually within that system, you might as well pick anyone.

                        I just wondered why you didn't choose your local English league club, Swansea City...

                        Edit: regarding your edit, I'm talking about your "Much as I agree with the sentiments" bit.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                          Don't worry, SR, I am sure that Harry would support the Seasiders should they come up against your lot

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                            I just wondered why you didn't choose your local English league club, Swansea City...
                            Because I am a Cardiffian, from three generations of Cardiffians who were immersed in Cardiff's sports clubs.

                            I didn't even set foot in Swansea until I was about ten.

                            How, exactly, do you support your "very nearest club in the Welsh league"?

                            You do seem awfully sensitive about this whole issue , don't you? If you were on any shakier ground we'd be getting a reading on the Richter scale.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                              Harry Carpenter wrote:
                              Because I am a Cardiffian, from three generations of Cardiffians who were immersed in Cardiff's sports clubs.

                              I didn't even set foot in Swansea until I was about ten.

                              How, exactly, do you support your "very nearest club in the Welsh league"?

                              You do seem awfully sensitive about this whole issue , don't you?
                              I'm fine.

                              I'm just pointing out that he who is without gloryhunting should cast the first stone.

                              (Um, how do I not support my very nearest club in the Welsh league??)

                              Comment

                                #16
                                Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                "Glory-hunting"? Tell me how? When I was still in Wales, Swansea passed us on their way up in to the top flight and we were about to enter decades predominantly in the lower leagues.

                                You don't seem to actually do anything to support your local side like, oooh, I don't know, go to games? It's not mandatory but I'm sure they'd love to see you.

                                I know , I know, it's hard to fit in between all those trips to Anfield.

                                Comment

                                  #17
                                  Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                  Porthcawl strikes back...

                                  Comment

                                    #18
                                    Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                    Harry Carpenter wrote:
                                    "Glory-hunting"? Tell me how? When I was still in Wales Swansea passed us up in to the top flight and we were about to enter decades predominantly in the lower leagues.

                                    You don't seem to actually do anything to support your local side, you know like , go to games. It's not mandatory but I'm sure they'd love to see you. I know , I know, it's hard to fit in between all those trips to Anfield.
                                    Oh, I wondered how long it would take before we got into a 'real fan' dick-measuring contest.

                                    I go and see Barry Town when I'm in Wales on a matchday. I tend not to make special journeys for it, it's true (although I have done, now and then). I've lost count of how many times I've seen them over the years, going back to the 1970s, I've got piles of old match programmes, scarves, mugs, supporters' club membership (lapsed), and all the usual crap you waste your money on when you're a supporter. I've written about them in WSC a couple of times. It would be nice if I could get to watch them more often, but it can't be helped, and my conscience is clear. At the end of the day, football is a strong interest of mine, but it doesn't rule my life.

                                    The only reason I get stick on here for the 'armchair' thing is that I'm open about that. There would be some uncomfortable and awkward shuffling in computer-seats if we could peer into the lives of several of OTF/WSC's more respected posters, and find out how often they actually go along to a match... but fuck it, it's OK, I'll be the lightning rod.

                                    Comment

                                      #19
                                      Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                      Not taking sides here, but I bet SR doesn't lollop around in a Liam walk and talk in a fake Scouse accent for an entire hour after Liverpool games. I fucking dread it when Liverpool play in Europe on a Wednesday night, knowing that my mate is either going to come in late and be excessively boorish about Liverpool winning, or excessively moody because they haven't, and end up talking to girls about fucking Liverpool when it's blatantly obvious that they wipe an alsatian's arsehole with football.

                                      Comment

                                        #20
                                        Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                        Ugh. Can we have a new thread?

                                        Comment

                                          #21
                                          Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                          Hang on , SR! You are the one who seemed to be looking to provoke the "dick-measuring contest", not me.

                                          I made a mild comment to Nishlord's original post and, rather than take it in that way or have a go at Nishlord himself you chose to start shouting the odds at me about my choice of club.

                                          Show me where I have attacked any poster on here personally about their choice of club or how often they go? You seem to have been carrying around a hang-up and waiting to unleash it at the merest of opportunities, don't project your issues on me.

                                          Comment

                                            #22
                                            Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                            Spearmint Rhino wrote:
                                            Beyond that, in terms of the English system, all bets are off. If you're not gonna support your hometown club, or your hometown club isn't actually within that system, you might as well pick anyone.
                                            And you chose... the most successful side at the time, presuming you picked in the 1970s or 1980s, rather than the side just up the road that you could go along and watch.

                                            Comment

                                              #23
                                              Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                              Harry Carpenter wrote:
                                              Hang on , SR! You are the one who seemed to be looking to provoke the "dick-measuring contest", not me.

                                              I made a mild comment to Nishlord's original post and, rather than take it in that way or have a go at Nishlord himself you chose to start shouting the odds at me about my choice of club.

                                              Show me where I have attacked any poster on here personally about their choice of club or how often they go? You seem to have been carrying around a hang-up and waiting to unleash it at the merest of opportunities, don't project your issues on me.
                                              Well, forgive me if, as a regular WSC poster who (in the English context) supports Liverpool but doesn't come from there, I defend myself when people who support Liverpool but don't come from there are criticised.

                                              And no, I don't put on a fake Scouse accent or any of that (although I did go through a phase in the early 80s when I was watching too much Brookside and Bleasdale...)

                                              Comment

                                                #24
                                                Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                                Comment

                                                  #25
                                                  Dog Shit v Cat Shit

                                                  Inca wrote:
                                                  Ugh. Can we have a new thread?
                                                  I tend to agree, apologies if it bored anyone but if someone has an unprovoked go at me I don't tend to turn the other cheek.

                                                  Happy to leave it as it is as I am sure nobody wantes a "Hometown v Adopted" club or "Tursnstile v Armchair" multi-pager.

                                                  Comment

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