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    "Excuse me while I..."

    "...kiss this guy"!

    Aka the 'misheard lyrics redux' thread.

    Today, a friend mentioned (on Facebook) how, in our youths, we didn't have lyrics sites on the internet to help us understand what pop singers were saying, so we pretty much had to make up the words to songs ourselves when we couldn't understand them. We'd routinely get them wrong and yet we'd often labour on under our self-created delusions for years until we would be humiliatingly disabused of our mistaken notions in public, by amused friends. Of course, there were magazines like Smash Hits that would print them, but sometimes even sources like those got them wrong too, which only exacerbated things.

    Anyway, this is perhaps the ultimate example, turned into a famous advert.

    #2
    "Excuse me while I..."

    There's a Deacon Blue song called 'Queen Of The New Year;, where the line 'and the lights on us go out' sounds like ' and the lights on Oscar Wilde'

    As a kid, I misheard 'simply having a wonderful Christmas time' as 'Dierdries having...'

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      #3
      "Excuse me while I..."

      Peter Kay made a fortune off this

      My favourite (not one of his) is Madonna singing "Last night I went with some Dago"

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        #4
        "Excuse me while I..."

        There's another good one for La Isla Bonita:

        "Young girls with eyes like potatoes"

        If you think about that too much, you'll just give yourself a headache.

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          #5
          "Excuse me while I..."

          As a kid, I thought she was singing "I fell in love with some Pedro", i.e. some random dago from down on the docks.

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            #6
            "Excuse me while I..."

            "A Spanish sailor shar-rin!"

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              #7
              "Excuse me while I..."

              3 Colours Red wrote: There's another good one for La Isla Bonita:

              "Young girls with eyes like potatoes"

              If you think about that too much, you'll just give yourself a headache.
              As long as you keep 'em peeled, eh?

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                #8
                "Excuse me while I..."

                "Last night I dreamt of lumbago"

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                  #9
                  "Excuse me while I..."

                  Here comes the rain again
                  Falling on my head like a memory
                  Falling on my head like a new emulsion


                  Every time you go away
                  You take a piece of meat with you

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                    #10
                    "Excuse me while I..."

                    Sits wrote: Here comes the rain again
                    Falling on my head like a memory
                    Falling on my head like a new emulsion
                    From the same song:

                    Torture me, like lovers do...

                    Until around a decade ago, I'd assumed that A Forest by The Cure began with the line:

                    Across the Red Sea, see into a tree

                    I had no reason to think otherwise, except that, given that it was about a forest, this made no sense at all.

                    For even longer, I thought that the line in Billy, Don't Be a Hero was:

                    As Billy started to go, she said: "Keep your pretty 'hello'"

                    ...as though her soon-to-perish boyfriend had a particularly chirpy way of greeting her. (It's 'head low', in case anyone else remains as clueless as I.)

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                      #11
                      "Excuse me while I..."

                      Here is the mighty "Market Toilets, Hooray!".



                      I did a "transcript" for all the lyrics, should you want to sing along.

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                        #12
                        "Excuse me while I..."

                        It's hard to be a man
                        When there's some gum in your hair

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                          #13
                          "Excuse me while I..."

                          No one on earth could feel like this,
                          I think I'm overgrown with fleas.

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                            #14
                            "Excuse me while I..."

                            3 Colours Red wrote: It's hard to be a man
                            When there's some gum in your hair
                            I'm not sure I want to discover what the real lyric is here...

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                              #15
                              "Excuse me while I..."

                              Depeche Mode - Enjoy the Silence
                              Pleasures searching
                              Soda's burping


                              RHCP - That one song, I forget the title
                              And the Burgess Shale is a Lonely View---oooohh

                              Midnight Oil - Warakurna
                              There is enough, the law is carved in granite
                              It's been shaped by William & Mary


                              Sophie B Hawkins - As I lay me down to Sleep
                              [background singers]
                              Who wants tacos>

                              REM - End of the World As We Know It
                              [background] It's time I had some Tylenol

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                                #16
                                "Excuse me while I..."

                                Jah Womble wrote:
                                Originally posted by 3 Colours Red
                                It's hard to be a man
                                When there's some gum in your hair
                                I'm not sure I want to discover what the real lyric is here...
                                I want to say it's less innocent than what you're thinking of but it's difficult to imbue "a gun in your hand" with a sense of innocence.

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                                  #17
                                  "Excuse me while I..."

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                                    #18
                                    "Excuse me while I..."

                                    Regarding the title of the thread, I never misheard that line on the studio recording of 'Purple Haze', but I did have a live recording on a Hendrix best of CD on which it sounds very much like he's deliberately singing '... kiss this guy'. I've always assumed he was well aware of the fact the line had been widely misheard, and was having a laugh.

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                                      #19
                                      "Excuse me while I..."

                                      Why was Michael Stipe calling Cheryl Baker up?

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                                        #20
                                        "Excuse me while I..."

                                        Bruce Springsteen - Darlington County
                                        I heard: We drove 800 miles, will I see her cunt?
                                        But it's: We drove 800 miles without seeing a cop

                                        Suede, She's Not Dead
                                        I heard: They found his mane of hair and her ankle chain
                                        But it's: They found his made up name on her ankle chain

                                        Pulp - I Spy
                                        I heard: Skilfully avoiding the doctor outside the corner shop
                                        But it's: Skilfully avoiding the dog turd outside the corner shop

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                                          #21
                                          "Excuse me while I..."

                                          Stereophonics - Have A Nice Day
                                          Lie around all day, have a drink of cheese

                                          Green Day - Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)
                                          Another turnip boy the fork stuck in the road

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                                            #22
                                            "Excuse me while I..."

                                            The Buzzcocks: For the longest time I thought it was We're all asthmatics despite the title having the correct words. Am still at a loss to explain it. Denial?

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                                              #23
                                              "Excuse me while I..."

                                              I thought Stone Roses "I Wanna Be Adored" was "I wanna be your dog," like the Stooges song.

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                                                #24
                                                "Excuse me while I..."

                                                Until a few weeks ago, I thought the Beach Boys sang 'if everybody had a notion' on Surfin' USA. It never occurred to me that the possession of a large body of water was more relevant to the matter in hand.

                                                I've just been reminded of it cos I'm watching the Brian Wilson biopic with the subtitles on.

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                                                  #25
                                                  "Excuse me while I..."

                                                  Walt Flanagans Dog wrote: Until a few weeks ago, I thought the Beach Boys sang 'if everybody had a notion' on Surfin' USA.
                                                  Blimey, so did I until I read this. Thanks!

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