Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

[David Agnew]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

Does the company pay for any of said drinking?
Who's likely to bore me to tears on work socials?

I've asked these at an interview. And I got the job.

I've also asked "What do your staff think of you?" The most honest answer I got was "A cunt".

[MsD]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

Are those competency based interviews still the flavour of the day? That's not a question I'd ask, by the way, but I think they're wank. They're supposed to be objective but of course they're not and they annoy me.

"Give us a scenario where you had to work with a difficult team member" etc. etc. as if I could have survived that long in the job market, in the roles I have, and not been able to work with a difficult team member, but somehow I have to recite a story and not sound like I'm really up myself "so this is how I saved the day". Every fucking interviewer thinks they are Alan Sugar these days.

Obviously they suit some people but I hate them, and I'd like to ask, "is this bollocks really necessary, haven't you made your mind up yet".

My biggest interview disaster was where the job involved basic accounts and they asked "are you comfortable with double-entry" and I said "not on a first date". They didn't laugh.

[Bill Poster]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

Well I laughed MsD... great answer! And sadly - yes. I complained so much about the wanky questions the recruitment consultants made me ask (in preference to my honed technical questions that actually er assessed someone's knowledge) that I gave up interviewing in the end.

Oh and the guy who made the remark about the money also was the guy with the rolled up Sun and who asked about the women. He also said he didn't want to carry on working on oilrigs as "they just watch porn all day". I have told so many stories about that interview. I was convinced he was deliberately taking the piss to 'prove' to the DSS he was trying to get a job. But then he complained when the interview was cut short.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

"Will I have to work with an idiot who doesn't know if a moth is an insect or not?"

"Will you make me sit right next to a window that gets day-round sun, thereby ensuring I'm far too hot all day, and sit the coldest, whiniest woman in the world directly under the air-con unit, meaning that not only am I hot and miserable, I have to endure her self-pitying shite and shows of petulance like putting a coat on in the middle of fucking summer if I so much as think about switching the bastard thing on?"

And breathe.

[Nurse Duckett]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

Bill Poster wrote:

Oh and 3/5 of the above came from one candidate who arrived tie-less, swung back on his chair and brought in a rolled up copy of the Sun newspaper.

Is turning up tie-less for an interview a big no-no these days?

Having worn ties for many years, I managed to wean myself off and have been tie-free for about 6 years. Now I'm back out on the job market, should I be paying more attention to such details? I expect to be looking for work in some form of systems/software engineering environment; I usually dress reasonably smartly/casually.

[Uncle Ethan]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

"Do you already have somebody you want to give the job to, so this selection procedure is just to tick the HR boxes and I'm wasting my time?"

I'd always ask that before doing the application, saves time and energy.

Can I suggest anyone going for an interview for a job they actually want does some rudimentary preparation.

People asked to give an example of their approach to particular job-related situations can hardly be surprised can they? What the fuck else do they think they are going to be asked about, their favourite colour?

Sitting there like a stunned mullet as if this radical approach to interviewing has come as a complete shock does not set you on the path to a successful career.

[Wyatt Earp]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

MsD wrote:

My biggest interview disaster was where the job involved basic accounts and they asked "are you comfortable with double-entry" and I said "not on a first date". They didn't laugh.

Superb.

[Bruno]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

Can I suggest anyone going for an interview for a job they actually want does some rudimentary preparation.

People asked to give an example of their approach to particular job-related situations can hardly be surprised can they? What the fuck else do they think they are going to be asked about, their favourite colour?

Moreover you'll have to be prepared with a disingenuous answer or two, so that when they ask the inevitable obligatory 'What are your greatest weaknesses' you don't just blurt out 'alcohol', or 'Girl Scouts'.

[Wyatt Earp]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

Yeah, well, that's a stupid question, innit? Everyone's going to say something like "You know, I think I may be too much of a perfectionist."

I'm interested in:

1. Does this person know most of the stuff he/she needs to know to do the job?
2. Has he/she a record that suggests he/she'll rapidly learn the rest?
3. Has he/she given any thought to what we're going to be trying to do and why?

So I get them to talk about their experience and their thoughts concerning the job. No wanky questions.

[Bruno]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

What would you say your weakest interview question is?

[pebblethefish]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

MsD wrote:

My biggest interview disaster was where the job involved basic accounts and they asked "are you comfortable with double-entry" and I said "not on a first date". They didn't laugh.

This possibly opens up a whole new topic - worst responses to interview questions. One that will haunt me was when we had to take a personality test as part of a screening process, and I asked for four answer sheets, one for each of my personalities. Wrong time to make a joke, I then realised.

Actually, sod that. The job was with British Gas, and who'd want to work for them?

[The Exploding Vole]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

Why on Earth... wrote:

Everyone's going to say something like "You know, I think I may be too much of a perfectionist."

I had the chance to hire someone who gave that answer. And I sure as hell didn't.

On another matter entirely, a friend of mine told me about a job he applied for a few years back:

THEY: "What football team do you support?"
HE: "Dundee United."
THEY: "No, no, son ... what football team do you support?"
HE: "I told you ... Dundee United."
THEY: "Let me ask you again ... what football team do you support?"

It was at that point he realised he wasn't going to get the job. And yes, it was in Scotland.

[Reed John]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

My biggest interview disaster was where the job involved basic accounts and they asked "are you comfortable with double-entry" and I said "not on a first date". They didn't laugh.

That is really outstanding. How can anyone not laught at that? If nothing else, they should be laughing at themselves for leaving such a giant open goal.

MsD, what sort of work do you do? I work with some difficult "team members." I'd like to know the right answer to that question for future reference because I'm pretty sure the way I actually am dealing with them isn't what employers want to hear (ignore and avoid them, redo their work, tell my boss to fire them, repeat).

1. Does this person know most of the stuff he/she needs to know to do the job?
2. Has he/she a record that suggests he/she'll rapidly learn the rest?
3. Has he/she given any thought to what we're going to be trying to do and why?

I think I'm going to show this list to my boss. Because two of the three people we've hired fail all three of these tests. Most importantly, they fail #2, which offsets whatever positives they brought to questions 1 and 3.

The story of the guy with the rolled up Sun reminds me of:

Now remember, if they think you're
not trying, you're in trouble, right? First hint of that, and they'll be onto the D.H.S.S., "This cunt is not trying."

And your giro's fuckin' finished, right?

Right. But, then again, try too hard--

You might get the fuckin' job.

Exactly.

Nightmare.

It's a tightrope, Spud. It's a fuckin' tightrope.

[MsD]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

Reed of the Valley People wrote:

MsD, what sort of work do you do? I work with some difficult "team members." I'd like to know the right answer to that question for future reference because I'm pretty sure the way I actually am dealing with them isn't what employers want to hear (ignore and avoid them, redo their work, tell my boss to fire them, repeat).

I've worked in a variety of jobs, last perm job was weekends in computer graphics at Lehman Brothers (10 and a half years) which paid me enough, and gave me enough holiday weekends, to enable me to freelance in various fields the rest of the time, and also kept my hand in using Adobe & MS packages. Banking graphics/DTP was a nice, flexible earner during the 90s, especially.

It also enabled me to work with some very unpleasant people in a horribly hierarchical structure, but yes, I've worked with team members above, below and alongside me.

I can't give you the "right" answer to those competency questions, though, what actually works, and what sounds good, seem to be two different things. Maybe my "this is all shit" thoughts are leaking out of my eyes, but I've never got a job through one of those interviews.

For the last year, I've just been freelancing, mainly from home, doing various things, currently running a campaign for an NGO.

[Bill Poster]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

I thought of that Trainspotting interview while I was interviewing the guy, I swear...

It wasn't so much the lack of tie per se that was the problem, more the complete casual attitude and lack of any interest in the job other than the money and if there were any 'eligible' women there.

If in doubt, wear a suit and tie. You can always take your jacket and tie off if you're overdressed. If you feel self-conscious about your appearance, you're not going to be at ease.

[Reed John]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

I agree. I've always wear my suit to an interview, no matter how hot it is or even if the place has a casual dress code (I wouldn't want to work there anyway if it doesn't). The point isn't to "fit in" but to show that you're taking it seriously and making an effort. I've been told as much explicitly by interviewers at such places.

I've heard there are some creative and "dot-com" places that don't like applicants to be so dressed up, but I think only a massive cunt would take points off an applicant for being overdressed. How can one be reasonably expected to divine the interviewer's precise attitude toward such things in advance?

[The Exploding Vole]

Questions you would like to ask at job interviews

Another suggestion would be not to lift your leg too high when breaking wind in the interviewee's chair.