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Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

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    Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

    I was watching Kite Runner the other day, and that scene when one of the kids fires off a rock with a slingshot at a dog resting in the street, for some reason I felt the urge to fire a slingshot again. Not at dogs. I reckon I got a bit nostalgic.
    I might actually get all childish one day this coming summer and make one, then have a go.

    We used to make them out of a fork off some branch we chopped down, and the inner hose of a bicycle tire. Proper slingshots should be made like this, out of wood, not bought in some bloody hardware store, like kids do these days.

    Off all the things taking an aim at, the zing-sound of hitting a tele wire was the best.

    One thing that I reckon most wouldn’t want to do is have a crap in the woods and wipe your arse with a poisonous plant, which seems to be so common. I can’t remember any of us kids even took shits in the woods, if we were not on some outdoor camp, let alone wipe with something that gave a terrible rash. Is that cliché Poison Ivy, or Oak, which everyone who’ve done the mistake, have done it with.

    #2
    Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

    Playing football in the street ... and commentating OUT LOUD while you do it, pretending to be the players concerned. Me and my mates did that endlessly as 10-year-olds, either pretending to be Dalglish scoring the winner in the European Cup Final against Bayern Munich (this wasn't replicating real games, you understand, it was our "fantasy games" that might have happened) or Maradona socring the late equalizer against Brazil in the 1982 World Cup Final that took tha game into an extra time that Falcao settled with a 40-yard (well, in our terms 9-yard) screamer.

    I think I'd be locked up if I went out and did that tonight.

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      #3
      Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

      What rules did you have in street football?
      Instead of taking corners, three corners = a penalty?

      If we played on asphalt, we'd always play with a tennis ball.

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        #4
        Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

        We had a really cool system based on our cul-de-sac where there was only one "goal" (someone's gateposts at one end) and the attacking team carried on attacking until the defending team got to the other end, in control of the ball, and turned play around.

        Each "team" consisted of at most 3 kids on each side. So at various moments Clemence would clear the ball out to Hansen who would pass to Case, who would turn into McDermott who would pass to Heighway (who moments before had been Clemence) and then to Dalglish (who had just been Hansen).

        Johnny from number 43, who was the biggest and best kid, would be both Hansen and Dalglish. I was always Clemence and then McDermott.

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          #5
          Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

          How the sod could you score any own goals with that system?

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            #6
            Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

            Would it be too much of a criminal act to walk into someone's garden at night and steal fresh carrots? We used to do that summer nights when wanting a snack. Kids down thinner and sniff glue today, our drug was carrots.

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              #7
              Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

              Roll down a grassy hillside on a summer afternoon.

              These days I'd either throw-up or be dizzy for a week.

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                #8
                Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                The other day I made myself the same sandwich I used to love as a kid.
                Two slices of white bread, with a filling of peanut butter(smooth not crunchy), jam(strawberry only), and cheese spread(dairylea... duhh obviously) and you know what, it was disgusting. I reckon as a kid I would eat just about any old shit.

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                  #9
                  Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                  The endless summer hols after school breaks up; bicycling for miles out into the countryside; tennis ball cricket; a day at the beach; Drinking coke out of a glass bottle which I swear tasted much better. Travelling by ship, now that was the way to travel.

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                    #10
                    Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                    Rogin the Armchair Fan wrote:

                    Playing football in the street ... and commentating OUT LOUD while you do it, pretending to be the players concerned.
                    Yes. My earliest football memory was going out, on my own, after the 1962 Spurs v Burnley Cup Final and kicking a ball along the street pretending to be Ray Pointer.

                    We had drain-holes on each side of the street and they made perfect goal posts. There were three families in the whole street that had cars, so you could normally get a good clear pitch.

                    As for things I'd like to do again ... climb trees. There was one daunting tree down our woods, a sweet chestnut, that we called 'The Chibby'. I only ever got as far as the first branches, and as far as I know there were only two boys down our street that got to the top: Mini Marker (a psycho) and Terry O'Connor (a hero).

                    I went down the woods a few years ago to have a look at the Chibby. It was gone, in its place a posh detached house.

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                      #11
                      Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                      We used to play with flattened Coke cans in the schoolground, where balls where banned (though sometimes we'd take our chances and play with a tennis ball).

                      We also employed the three-corners-penalty rule, ganja.

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                        #12
                        Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                        We played a game called "90 minutes" with a real goal. Usually 2 against one, and one in, and you had "90" minutes to score as many as possible. BUT, only by volley or header. Unless the ball went outside the 18 yard box, then you could shoot directly.

                        Minutes were deducted for shots going directly wide or over the bar, and for directly hitting the post or bar, but minutes were added for hitting the bar or post and scoring.

                        Which of course made for a lot of 'Hollywood' attempts.

                        Things I would like to do again:

                        Play 'Scabaldi', which involved running into a hedge, full pelt and screaming 'Scabaldi' at the top of your voice, to encourage the householder to chase you! The bouncier the hedge, the better.

                        Play 'The Olympics'. Gymnastics (using various objects in the local clothes drying area), High Jump (rope tied between two trees, and an old matress to land on), Track and Field and others my memory is too dulled to remember.

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                          #13
                          Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                          You called that "Scabaldi"? I can't remember us having a name for it.

                          Just remembered another one, and I keep forgetting the English name for it. Big brick wall, two players, a tennis ball, only allowed to use hands. I'd like a game of that. Preferrably against a bloke in a wheel chair, so I have a chance of winning as I'm so out of shape a paralyzed man would beat me in a one-on-one half marathon.

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                            #14
                            Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                            Pat-Ball?

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                              #15
                              Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                              This. Poor man's squash

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                                #16
                                Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                'Handball' in Ireland.

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                                  #17
                                  Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                  when is a liverpool fan going to stumble in here eye the title of the thread, and break down blubbing and say "see my team win the league once more before I die. "

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                    hahaha

                                    (it would also be funny if that there was a jinx)

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                                      #19
                                      Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                      All this talk of modified football rules has made me think of a game/bloodsport called "English" that was played at my high school in West Yorkshire.

                                      Basically, a single goalkeeper/victim was drawn at random and the remaining players would attempt to tee/chip/cross the ball into the penalty area for someone else to head or volley into the goal. Each goal scored counted as a consecutive letter in the word English, with the seventh and final letter (H) requiring a goal that could only come from a header. If the goalkeeper saved the shot, or if the ball went wide or over the goal, the unfortunate striker would exchange places with the goalie. Once the seventh goal had been scored, the goalkeeper would then have to select one of two punishments: (a) sacrifices or (b) the tunnel of death. The former involved standing facing a metal post whilst all the other participants wellied the ball at you from close range. This usually hit you on the arse or head, the force of which would result in you banging your head on the post. The latter punishment involved the outfield players forming two parallel lines facing each other, who would then proceed to kick the goalkeeper who would be required to run inbetween the said rows of pupils.

                                      It should be noted that I do not have fond memories of this.

                                      Was this just confined to Huddersfield, or were other variants played around the UK?

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                        I remember playing a game where you had to kick a ball at a wall and then the next person had to also hit the wall but only using one touch and so on. If you missed the particular bit of the wall you were out and if you took more than one touch of the ball you were out.

                                        I can't for the life of me remember what we called it though.

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                                          #21
                                          Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                          Who wants a game of Mob?

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                            Ricky Lenin wrote:
                                            I remember playing a game where you had to kick a ball at a wall and then the next person had to also hit the wall but only using one touch and so on. If you missed the particular bit of the wall you were out and if you took more than one touch of the ball you were out.

                                            I can't for the life of me remember what we called it though.
                                            (seriously) We called that 'Wall-E'

                                            Comment


                                              #23
                                              Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                              Some schoolyard variations:

                                              Ten and You're Dead: Any man for himself, all aiming at the same goalie in the same goal. The name is a reference to the central rule: if the keeper lets in ten legal goals, everybody gets to beat the shit out of them. Or 'bullets': the keeper stands on the line with his back to the pitch, and everybody gets one chance at blasting the ball at their arse from an imaginary penalty spot. The goalie can swap with an outfield player by catching one of their shots without the ball bouncing. Similarly, if you are a cocky enough bugger to score three goals, it's your turn in net.

                                              One/Two-touch: Really you needed an enclosed five-a-side pitch for this, but we usually tried it regardless. Touching the ball more than once/twice (depending on what you've agreed on) is a free kick to the other team. I fucking loved this game.

                                              Heads and Volleys: Same model as before, one goalie, one goal and every man for himself. Only goals scored with a header or a volley count, anything else and it is your turn to go in net.

                                              Any-Man Keeper: Teams didn't have an agreed goalkeeper, the role being passed to the closest player to the goal. This should be an option in professional football.

                                              "Two Bs": Used to make any man for himself games with one keeper more sensible, the goalie could shout this after they've kicked the ball out, meaning the ball isn't in play until it has bounced twice. Breaking this rule led to an unspecified punishment, usually a boot up the arse, but the rule was well respected.

                                              Wallie: Ricky Lenin has already mentioned this one. As far as I am concerned, this is the king of alternatives to "proper" football. Oh the chicanery you'd see. People teeing their mate up with a really easy shot so they can pelt it thirty yards down the street where it nestles under a truck at a five degree angle to the wall. I used to have the odd game of this outside the squat our band practiced in, well into my twenties.

                                              Kerbie: A game for two players. You both stand on either side of the road and take it in turns to chip the ball from the pavement with the aim of hitting the front face of the kerb, without the ball bouncing beforehand. The other player is deisgnated "goalie", albeit one that isn't allowed to use their hands.

                                              Beats on the Bell: When playing a game with a punitive aspect (Ten and You're Dead), if you happen to be in net when the schoolbell went, everybody else gets one free dig.

                                              Egged: If you kick the ball over the fence into the crabby old woman's garden, it's your job to sneak out of the yard and go and knock on and get it. Bravery points were awarded if you were cool enough to climb right over her garden wall (seven feet tall, with razor wire on the top). If the kid who owned the ball complained about you kicking it over, you were fully within your rights to stamp on the ball and kick it to him (in the yard, we were only allowed the shitty plastic airflow balls - kind of like this), but about the size of a grapefruit. Many a time you'd see a kid from the years below, trying not to cry as he failed to unegg a ball that some cruel bugger had flattened.

                                              Speedball Rules: I'd imagine that a real social scientist would have some sort of "pressure valve" analogy for this; if two teams were getting a bit fractious and a fight was about to break out, someone would inevitably shout "SPEEDBALL RULES", and the game would turn into a juvenile version of the computer game. That is to say, no rules. Get the ball into the net however you like. This only happened in summer when we were allowed on the field, and stopped around the age of fourteen, when people started getting hurt.

                                              Christening the Ball: If someone turned up on our school field with a shiny new casey, a bigger kid would inevitably ask if it had been "christened". This would inevitably end up with some bawling kid trying to fish their ball out of the stream (or open sewer, depending on your perspective) running down the side of the field. If someone asks you this, it was generally wiser to go along with it. Your ball is going to end up in the stream anyway, might as well get it over with without getting punched in the face off O'B (cock of the school for my first two years, his reign cruelly cut short by a heart attack suffered whilst playing football coked up, whilst suffering an undiagnosed heart problem.)

                                              Has anything serious ever been written about vernacular football (for want of a better term)? It's amazing how many people I have spoken to, from all other the place, who have played essentially the same games, albeit with different names and slight variations. Also, why was "fly goalie" considered an innovation? Were we all ignorant of the fact that keepers could leave the area if they wanted? It always used to boil my piss when people would complain that it was "cheating" if the goalie dribbled the ball anywhere.

                                              Christ, I feel like Stuart fucking Maconie now.

                                              Comment


                                                #24
                                                Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                                Gerontophile wrote:
                                                Ricky Lenin wrote:
                                                I remember playing a game where you had to kick a ball at a wall and then the next person had to also hit the wall but only using one touch and so on. If you missed the particular bit of the wall you were out and if you took more than one touch of the ball you were out.

                                                I can't for the life of me remember what we called it though.
                                                (seriously) We called that 'Wall-E'
                                                We called it 'spot'. You were allowed three lives. When you lost all three lives you had to stand against the wall for the rest of the game, trying to avoid the shots pinging at your head.

                                                Surely people here played Bulldog? And what about forty-forty, the more energetic version of hide and seek?

                                                Comment


                                                  #25
                                                  Things you did as a kid that you want to do again

                                                  Spearmint Rhino wrote:
                                                  Who wants a game of Mob?
                                                  What's that?
                                                  Maybe we did it in Sweden, who knows.

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