Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Company songs

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Company songs

    It should be banned.
    I used to work for a company affiliated with SAAB and some sorry sod had taken Yellow Submarine and made a version on it called Yellow SAAB Marine. Never mind that our company was dealing with marine electronics, and never mind that he tried to make a bit of fun, it’s the last thing you’ll get me to do, is to have me sing some kind of Our Company Kampf crap with the rest of the staff, even if we are all drunk at the yearly Christmas party.

    Later on, I’ve had the misfortune to work for two huge American corporations, and I’ll rather rot in hell than work for another. The number of things which were so wrong, I hope China takes over all of them.

    What is it with American companies and their Mein Company Kampf songs? The one I mentioned above was at least an attempt at humour, but the American I’ve heard, they’re bloody dead serious about it.
    And not to mention some of the videos with the songs I’ve seen spread within an organisation of several 100,000 worldwide. One of the videos was such a puke fest, with the lame company song and a James Bond like story, like we would agent our electronics into people’s minds as cool as only a lame American company can.

    I never worked for the below, but it’s one example I could find.
    Try to listen to this, and not puke.
    http://www.folkvett.se/prankmonkey/w...-accenture.mp3

    Here are the lyrics in case you would want to sing along.

    VIVA ACCENTURE!
    We want to show the world
    Just listen to the spreading word
    To educate and inspire
    Raise our game higher and higher
    You won’t need to roll the dice
    The answer’s there before your eyes
    Listen as the crowd would sing
    Accenture are here, to come do their thing
    Now we hold the key
    To what every company wants to be
    Now you’ll really understand
    That in our hands you will expand
    Chorus
    I hear industry phones are ringing
    The human capital choirs are singing
    We’ll be their strength, their sword and shield
    Sustain and grow in every field
    It’s not something I need explain
    On everyone’s lips will be our name
    Never a more honest word
    Accenture will show the world
    So let’s focus on how we’ll grow
    Horizon 2012 is our goal
    And when all is said and done
    People will not believe what we’ve become
    Emerging markets lie in wait
    For us to come and educate
    To lead with proud esteem
    Accenture are here to come do their thing

    #2
    Company songs

    Your Mein Kampf references remind me of the story of the Disneyland employees who nicknamed their place of work "Mousewitz". When management got wind of it, a communication went round forbidding the use of the term. Before long it had been rechristened "Duckau".

    Comment


      #3
      Company songs

      In my field, US law firm Nixon Peabody hold the prize for this. Try searching their name in youtube.

      Comment


        #4
        Company songs

        Lord Mauleverer wrote:
        In my field, US law firm Nixon Peabody hold the prize for this. Try searching their name in youtube.
        I don't know what to say

        Comment


          #5
          Company songs

          I used to work for a company that had one: it was in Norwegian.

          Comment


            #6
            Company songs

            Taylor to thread. (He's got loads of these. In fact, I think we did it on Music.)

            Comment


              #7
              Company songs

              There is something really onionish about the slogan from one of that firm's ads in the youtube link, which says:

              "I don't need lawyers who win at all cost, I need them to win, but calculate the costs".

              Comment


                #8
                Company songs

                Didn't Grace Hopper famously refuse to join IBM as a permanent member of the senior staff after she found out that they sang a hymn of praise to Thomas Watson every morning before starting work?

                Comment


                  #9
                  Company songs

                  Bank of America sings U2's One

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Company songs

                    There's always the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation...

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Company songs

                      This is the only corporate anthem worth saluting, pure American cultural genius by the ultimate visionaries:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Company songs

                        The Bank of America one is a real David Brent moment. The fact that the singer acts like he's really feeling it only adds to the cringe factor.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Company songs

                          I'll choose Road To Nowhere by Talking Heads for our company, which now stands firmly ensconced in its own field of cliche and is always guaranteed to pop up in silly phone-ins or competitions where someone's asked 'what song best describes your football team, hometown, relationship, etc?'

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Company songs

                            That Accenture one a) is vomit inducing, for anyone who's ever had to work with a smug, do-nothing management consultant like, er, me and b) was almost certainly the product of a corporate middle-management conference. A Coldplay fan's (let's face it, they're probably all Coldplay fans, who else buys that insipid wank?) suggested it in the bar the night before, and only some last, dying sense of humility stopped them from ending the Refrain "That is When We Rule The World".

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Company songs

                              Accounting and consultancy firms are the best for this sort of thing. Google McKinsey, PriceWaterhouseCoopers or KPMG for some truly horrific efforts. Elsewhere, Singapore's censorship/media development agency has a great rap by 50 year old men in suits.

                              Comment


                                #16
                                Company songs

                                Do people actually do this? Seriously? I refuse to believe it.

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  Company songs

                                  It's astonishing, isn't it?

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    Company songs

                                    Well, the Japanese have been doing it for ages, and Koreans, only that doesn't for some reason seem as horrific.

                                    Comment


                                      #19
                                      Company songs

                                      Not really a company anthem, but when I worked for Stoke-on-Trent City Council, they commissioned this.

                                      Comment

                                      Working...
                                      X