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Tiny samples at supermarkets

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    Tiny samples at supermarkets

    So, fess up, are you the type who will always use the opportunity to have a nibble when by the cheese counter you see someone stood behind a small table offering a pat of chilli cheese on a patch of rye bread the size of a thumb’s nail, or whatever, even though you know for certain that you won’t buy any?

    Or do you walk past with a smug smile, thinking to yourself:
    - Look at them stingy buggers, as soon as there’s free food they gather like men in worn out clothes at a 1930’s NY soup kitchen

    Has anyone worked at a supermarket cheese counter, or call it delicatessen?
    What kind of general rules are there? If I’m buying some cheese, how many different can I ask a sample of, before they get pissed off at me?

    Pose I’m on the dole, not much money, and I need to buy food. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to enter supermarkets, not the same one every time, walk up to the cheese counter, ask for samples from 6-7 different cheeses, maybe one of those Kalamata olives in garlic, and a slice of that Swedish ham, then say:
    - Oh, I think I’ll only have three slices of that cheese there.
    You’d be paying almost nothing but almost had a lunch.

    #2
    Tiny samples at supermarkets

    I think I’ll become the first supermarket con artist. All I need to invest in is a bag of sort and some white cardboard boxes to fill it with.

    Then, I walk in, go up to the section where they’re selling something useful to eat and where there’s a promo sheet of sort to take it down, and I place it inside my bag on top of the cardboard boxes.

    Then I ask for the manager, explain that I’m the sales person of that company and product, flash open my bag with the stolen sheet on top of the white cardboard boxes, and tell him or her that I’m the one who’s been sent to do that promo gig in the store. I ask if I can lend a table and promise the sales will be great.

    Then, once the manager’s off, I walk about like I’m a customer, pick the ingredients I crave for, obviously loads from that shelf in the store where they keep what I’m supposedly selling, I bring it to the table and while offering passing by sponger’s a taste, I feed myself full.

    Santa Maria Nachos with sliced Hungarian sausage, shredded cheddar cheese sprinkled on top, with yoghurt and Ajvar dips on the side, anyone?

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      #3
      Tiny samples at supermarkets

      The character played by Javier Bardem in the excellent Spanish film Los lunes al sol ('Mondays in the Sun', dir F. Leon de Aranoa, 2002) is an unemployed shipyard worker who lives on the margins, and stops to chat up the 'cheese girl' in the supermarket (pretending he's been to Switzerland etc) so that he has enough time to wolf down 5 or 6 bits.

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        #4
        Tiny samples at supermarkets

        None of the "supermarkets" within walking distance have a cheese counter or anything like it with samples.

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          #5
          Tiny samples at supermarkets

          People try to convince you that there is this vast majority of people who actually like cheese despite it tasting like sick, and yet in supermarkets they actually have to give it away.

          It's all a big conspiracy, like the way banks stayed afloat until recently, and one day the big cheese lie will come crashing down exposed for what it really is. Will people like me be thanked? Will we fuck.

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            #6
            Tiny samples at supermarkets

            I've got a workmate who hates cheese like that, ad hoc.

            Let me check what else you might have in common:

            Baggies fan? (no)
            Doctor Who obsessive....?
            Bond lover....?

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