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**Nishlord** · 26-02-2009, 00:35

Surviving Unemployment.

Ah, that's a pisser, TG. I'm rubbish when unemployed, so I'm just gonna sit here and wait for some more good advice along with yours.

**Jon** · 26-02-2009, 01:11

Surviving Unemployment.

Actually, that sounds like you've got yourself a pretty good routine there TG. Do the most important stuff in the morning, is all I can say but it seems you're doing that already. Good luck with it all.

**anton pulisov** · 26-02-2009, 01:12

Surviving Unemployment.

Bollocks. Microsoft are doing their best to roll out Windows 7 as quickly as possible, though. There'll be loads of shit to fix then. Can you already study for Windows 7 certs, using beta versions?

I don't see anything in there about laydeez. I recommend studying at the local uni library.

**Tactical Genius** · 26-02-2009, 01:48

Surviving Unemployment.

Bryan, for reasons that i would wish not to speculate on OTF, it seems that i have become ugly and unattractive to the laydees since losing my job........ hmmmmmm even the girlfriend has dumped me.

Windows 7 will not be released until the end of this year at the earliest so will not get much commercial action until late 2010 espeically with the problems companies have experienced with Vista.

I have been getting to grips with some of the more niche microsoft products like Hyper-V which i predict will do for VMWare what Windows NT4 did for for Novell.
Also Sharepoint 2007 so i can market myself as an expert in that too.
I am not too worried at the moment as most companies are coming to year end so porjects are on hold until the budgest for the following year are finalised.
If i am out of work come, may then i might get worried.

I avoid leaving the house so as not to spend money.

**Tactical Genius** · 26-02-2009, 02:30

Surviving Unemployment.

Oh, i forgot to add. my uneployment was my own fault, probably due to a lack of discipline.

**linus** · 26-02-2009, 03:07

Surviving Unemployment.

The babe that's going to go out with you when you're unemployed is a keeper.

Hang in there TG, enjoy the ride, make it short and sweet.

**Amor de Cosmos** · 26-02-2009, 06:38

Surviving Unemployment.

Hope it's a short rest TG. But remember times with no work are better than times with no pleasure. Make the most of the downtime it won't last forever.

**West End Zuma** · 26-02-2009, 07:40

Surviving Unemployment.

Looks like you've got a good daily regime going. Now you've got the downtime I'd add doing or learning something new to the routine. I dunno, summat you've always wanted to try. Now's the time.

**NHH** · 26-02-2009, 07:40

Surviving Unemployment.

My only (to date) period of unemployment did little for me except that I developed the ability to drink like a fish. My careful nursing of pints because I couldn't actually drink so fast was replaced by an ability to neck them in 10 minutes. Which isn't the best way to drink on the dole.

**Stumpy Pepys** · 26-02-2009, 08:28

Surviving Unemployment.

If you're signing on, local authority nightschool classes are dead cheap. I signed up for various French, Spanish and German courses over the years when I was between jobs.

Otherwise, you could learn, erm ... how to run Linux servers [ducks and runs for cover].

**steveeeeeeeee** · 26-02-2009, 09:18

Surviving Unemployment.

Try to go to an art gallery or museum once or twice a week in the afternoon. I did this when I was unemployed, I spent 3 weeks just going to the V&A, I'd spend an afternoon in one zone and read everything. I really learnt a lot from doing this, stuff I still remember today. It costs nothing to go to these places (one of the best things Blair ever did) and you get the added bonus of some really hot single ladies checking out the exhibits and they're probably unemployed too.

Also, if you've got your signing-on book, going to the cinema and only paying �3 is great (it might be more now, that was the price in 2002).

**HORN** · 26-02-2009, 09:30

Surviving Unemployment.

My last day of work was, oooh, 6 months ago. The key to successful unemployment, for me at least, is lists. If it's written down it'll get done.

And yes, if you leave something until the afternoon it is far less likely to get done.

I've found I quite enjoy cooking. My ex has taken advantage of my situation and buggered off to India so I'm single dad, pottering about. It's really quite pleasant in its own, impecunious way.

Turning the PC on is usually a good waste of a morning too.

**Er Liquidatore** · 26-02-2009, 10:28

Surviving Unemployment.

My top tips:

- Stop shaving
- Never leave the house or speak to anyone
- Invest money in online poker, as you'll surely be able to win HUGE money and live like a king forever like that guy off the telly
- Watch loads of porn

**Tactical Genius** · 26-02-2009, 15:46

Surviving Unemployment.

Not bothering to sign on as i am seft-employed and get paid through a limited company hence has to provide reams of evidence and jump though numerous hoops and wait a bloody age to get paid and by then would be back in work anyway.
As for doing courses, it is the same as signing on, my next job could be anywhere in the UK so can not commit to any course.
As for going to the museum and cinema.

Nah, it costs too much money, travelcard is about �5 into central london, then there is the food and drink this entails, before you know it, you have spent �10.

Liq.
- Stop shaving (i'm not a regular saver)
- Never leave the house or speak to anyone (easy, everyone is too busy working to gossip with me)
- Invest money in online poker, as you'll surely be able to win HUGE money and live like a king forever like that guy off the telly (my old man was a gambing addict with disasterous consequences to the family so i will not be doing that in case i have that bug)
- Watch loads of porn (Blood, I got TerraBytes to wade through and no girlfriend to tut disaprovingly when she sees it on my laptop)

**Bill Poster** · 26-02-2009, 15:55

Surviving Unemployment.

Well if the blisters on your hands are not yet too bad, you can start by finally replying to my thread.

Also, seriously, do you get anyone to proof read your job applications? I don't want to be funny but if your applications include the same sort of typing/spelling and grammar as on here, well, all I'm saying is that in a tight job market you do all you can to differentiate yourself from the competition and in a good way. And before you get all huffy, I get mine proof read by the missus.

I hope you find gainful er, manual work soon.

**Tactical Genius** · 26-02-2009, 16:09

Surviving Unemployment.

Hmmm, Bill Poster, Hmmmmm.

In my profession you do not fill out application forms, you just fire off your CV to the recruitment agencies who advertise roles on websites like Jobserve.

The spelling on my CV was checked Microsoft word which in my opinion is superior to your Mrs.
And before you get huffy, it is Office Word 2007 Service Pack 1

The market is just slow as it is coming up to year end and most companies are finalising their IT budgets/ projects for the next fiscal year.

"I hope you find gainful er, manual work soon."
Thank you.

**sw2borshch** · 26-02-2009, 16:25

Surviving Unemployment.

Relying on Word for spellchecking? That's got me in a cold sweat that would have the sheets even more wringing wet than a spell on the dole would have...

**Bill Poster** · 26-02-2009, 16:30

Surviving Unemployment.

Well you don't know my missus, but I would put Microsoft Word as a spelling and grammar checker right up there with a Norwegian Blue parrot. It can take in and spit out words it doesn't understand. When it's working.

And don't rely on the agencies either. If you think they read your CV in detail, you have a faith in human nature (and recruitment consultants) that would make Pollyanna look world-worn. Get it looked at by a proper professional. It might cost you a few quid, but it will be well worth it. Unless anyone on here is suitably qualified and they can do it for free for you.

**Tactical Genius** · 26-02-2009, 16:49

Surviving Unemployment.

SW2boro, are you spreading anti-microsoft badmind?
Keep it up and you will make an enemy of me.

Bill,
"And don't rely on the agencies either."

You can only apply for IT contracts via employment agencies so i gotta rely on them.

"If you think they read your CV in detail, you have a faith in human nature (and recruitment consultants) that would make Pollyanna look world-worn."

I know exactly how IT agencies work and have tailored my CV appropriately.
They stick your CV in a database and when a role comes up, they do a word match.

So my CV is full of buzzwords and short bulletpoints outlining my previous roles (or it would be 10 pages long). Agencies just run a wordsearch against their database such as Microsoft Exchange, Active directory, Migration and Arcserver and up pops CV listed by suitability.
There are no long flowing paragraphs in my CV so you would find it a bit impersonal and crap.
CV's are just there to get you selected by agencies and interviews. Once in front of the man, i will dazzle with my personality that has made me your favourite poster

**Andy C** · 26-02-2009, 16:57

Surviving Unemployment.

Seriously, MS Word spell-checking (even in 2007) is horribly deficient - not that most other spell-check utilities aren't, either. On balance, a pass through the spell-checker is likely to catch some of the glitches in a document, but it's a big mistake to assume that it's anything like enough to prepare a document for public consumption - especially one that needs to give as much of an impression of quality, and one that's likely to receive as much scrutiny, as a CV or a job application.

**Bill Poster** · 26-02-2009, 17:00

Surviving Unemployment.

Once in front of the man, i will dazzle with my personality that has made me your favourite poster

And to get "in front of the man" a real person has to see it. If you have to differentiate between 20 or so similar CVs then the badly formatted and spelled ones are more likely to get junked.

It's just free advice. You can choose to treat it in the same way as when you get found out to be full of shit. ie you ignore it.

Bad spelling and grammar - check.
Full of hubris and self-importance - check
Never lets the truth get in the way of the story - check
Cherry picks the facts to suit purposes - check!

Have you thought about a career in tabloid journalism...? (with respect to the hacks in this parish)

Love, your fav NooLabour Councillor

**sw2borshch** · 26-02-2009, 17:05

Surviving Unemployment.

TG - I don't have the techy nous to slag Microsoft the way some do, most of their stuff works well enough for what I want to do. But the spell & grammar checks in Word are garbage.
But as you say, it probably doesn't matter for what you need to do with your CV.

What I'd be more much more interested in locking horns with you on, or picking your brains like a hungry zombie, is the work you've mentioned on other threads you did for a popular government department.
Sadly, there's no way I could do it here!

**steveeeeeeeee** · 26-02-2009, 18:23

Surviving Unemployment.

As for going to the museum and cinema.

Nah, it costs too much money, travelcard is about �5 into central london, then there is the food and drink this entails, before you know it, you have spent �10.

I thought you had a bike?

**HORN** · 26-02-2009, 19:23

Surviving Unemployment.

The_Liquidator wrote:

My top tips:

- Stop shaving
- Never leave the house or speak to anyone
- Invest money in online poker, as you'll surely be able to win HUGE money and live like a king forever like that guy off the telly
- Watch loads of porn

Here's me doing all of those things earlier.

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