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Straight from the cow - sorry madam

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    Straight from the cow - sorry madam

    The Pancake Day thread has been apposite as I was alerted to the importance of butter this morning.

    We had run out and I thought no problem, I will have jam on dry toast. Jam is sweet, what could possibly go wrong?

    It was really hard to eat, the butter being an essential lubricant I hitherto disregarded.

    I have always been a big fan of proper milk, full fat and preferably unhomogenised, and, of course, cheese (fuck off cheese haters) and now I have added butter to my list of dairy essentials that life would be poorer without.

    The reason for this thread is to ask why non-dairy eaters (by choice rather than allergy) choose to forego what I feel are the spine of a decent diet

    #2
    Straight from the cow - sorry madam

    Combining butter with anything else on toast makes me feel rather queasy. People who put it with peanut butter particularly offend me, but jam is still pretty peverse in my book.

    You need fresh, good quality bread though- otherwise toast is horribly dry and then, after a couple of chews, horribly cloying. One of the stupidest regulations is the one that says you can only buy bread in 400g and 800g loaves. The former is too expensive and doesn't last long enough, the latter too big and goes off. A 600g loaf would be perfect.

    Comment


      #3
      Straight from the cow - sorry madam

      Fatter Hipper wrote:
      Combining butter with anything else on toast makes me feel rather queasy. People who put it with peanut butter particularly offend me
      Yeah, but we're doing it to offend you.

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        #4
        Straight from the cow - sorry madam

        Instead of eating the full fat butter, milk etc,here's an idea..just eat abig block of lard every day instead, that way it's guaranteed go straight to your arteries and cut out the middle man.

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          #5
          Straight from the cow - sorry madam

          Jam is fucking disgusting. cop onto yourselves, people.

          however underneath any acceptable toast topping, eg marmite and hummus, or marmite, or marmite and peanut butter, then some form of soya based margarine is *essential*.

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            #6
            Straight from the cow - sorry madam

            I keep thinking I should just have butter, instead of whatever it is I use. But then I really would just live to eat bread and butter, which is pretty much the best thing ever.

            People who say "why do you need butter when you're having..." are really very silly people.

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              #7
              Straight from the cow - sorry madam

              Oh yeah but, you know, transfat free, omega 3 enriched ones and that.

              Comment


                #8
                Straight from the cow - sorry madam

                I use Olivio, meself. Which isn't called Olivio any more. Except by everyone who uses it.

                Marmite is ok, not great, not awful. The marketing campaign is a triumph though.

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                  #9
                  Straight from the cow - sorry madam

                  Jam is fucking disgusting. cop onto yourselves, people
                  You're a mentalist. A good strawberry jam is better than 90% of sex.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Straight from the cow - sorry madam

                    90% of sex with you, maybe!

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                      #11
                      Straight from the cow - sorry madam

                      Ricotta (honey optional) on toast for me.

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                        #12
                        Straight from the cow - sorry madam

                        Hold on, they have recently decided that butter is really good for you, haven't they?

                        Other than that, I wouldn't touch margarine. Anything that was concocted in a laboratory shouldn't be regarded as food.

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                          #13
                          Straight from the cow - sorry madam

                          Lyra wrote:
                          Jam is fucking disgusting. cop onto yourselves, people.
                          I love Jam on porridge, me

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Straight from the cow - sorry madam

                            "Butter is the Devil's Spunk"

                            (Brought to you by the UK Margerine Marketing Board)

                            an old spoof advert I remember from Not the Nine O'Clock News, or some similar comedy ensemble?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Straight from the cow - sorry madam

                              What is this "sex" of which you speak?

                              Strawberry is perhaps the most grotesque of all the parade of cooked-fruit abominations in a jar. I'd rather eat dirt.

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