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**Bored Of Education** · 11-02-2009, 10:22

Bachelorhood

I am not sure the opposite of "bachelor" is "lover"

**G-Man** · 11-02-2009, 10:25

Bachelorhood

I miss the solitude and independence sometimes. But when I do have have some of that, I quickly get bored with it.

**evilC** · 11-02-2009, 10:27

Bachelorhood

Bored of All the Beasts wrote:

I am not sure the opposite of "bachelor" is "lover"

No, but for the sake of ease...

**Bored Of Education** · 11-02-2009, 10:46

Bachelorhood

Surely the opposite of "lover" is "fighter" (There's lyric there somewhere)

I hope I am not coming over as a smug married but I would have made a terrible bachelor. I moved straight from my parent's place in with with my wife at 21, was married at 25 and, simlar to G-man, can't stand more than 4 or 5 days away from my wife (and, now, my son)

**Nishlord** · 11-02-2009, 11:35

Bachelorhood

I'm definately a confirmed batchelor, and have been so for years. Too picky, and constantly comparing anyone new to an ex I still think about on a daily basis. Have had relationships, but they fizzle out due to abovementioned reasons.

I find that as time goes on, you end up creating a Frankenstein relationship out of different people you know. You confide deeply in this one, get low-level affection from that lot, unconditional love from the kids I know (either as an uncle or a godfather) and sex from whoever fancies it. It's not perfect, but neither are relationships. I know for a fact that I wouldn't have had half the life experiences I've had if I was still in the previous relationship, so it all balances out.

I'm starting to be dimly aware of the fact that I could be ready to have a proper relationship with someone at some point in the near future, but I'm prepared for (and am cool with) the possibility that I might never.

**hobbes** · 11-02-2009, 11:36

Bachelorhood

I've done the single bit and I really loved it. I've lived with friend and I've lived on my own and I really enjoyed both.
But living with Pamela is just a joy and I think I'd struggle to go back to singlehood now. So much so I'm actually looking forward to getting married.

**Bruno** · 11-02-2009, 11:40

Bachelorhood

I thought the opposite of lover was dancer. (again, some lyrics...)

**Guest** · 11-02-2009, 11:50

Bachelorhood

I lived the single life a long, long time. It was cack. Now living with girlfriend and it is very good. Luckily she likes football, and will stop me when I cross the line between playing my music and teaching her about it.

**Bruno** · 11-02-2009, 11:54

Bachelorhood

Permanent bachelorhood wasn't going to work for me because I knew I would just succumb to all my worst habits. I needed someone to keep me presentable and respectable. Both lifestyles have their advantages but it would be a pity, I feel, to forsake relationships out of hand.

**Bored Of Education** · 11-02-2009, 12:01

Bachelorhood

Forgive me if this shallow but I am genuinely interested in how bachelors homes are decorated.

I know that if I was a bachelor, my abode would be completely different from the potted plant strewn green and brown den that I now reside in but that doesn't mean that everyone else's is the "Men Behaving Badly" black leather sofa with nought but a toilet and a fridge full of beer next to it stereotype

**Bruno** · 11-02-2009, 12:06

Bachelorhood

Just want to add that the reason I gave above was not in fact THE reason I got married. I did that out of love, you see. But permanent bachelorhood wasn't going to be a good scene.

**evilC** · 11-02-2009, 12:07

Bachelorhood

Bored of All the Beasts wrote:

...that doesn't mean that everyone else's is the "Men Behaving Badly" black leather sofa with nought but a toilet and a fridge full of beer next to it stereotype

Yes - quite.

My leather sofa is brown.

**Bored Of Education** · 11-02-2009, 12:08

Bachelorhood

Just want to add that the reason I gave above was not in fact THE reason I got married. I did that out of love, you see. But permanent bachelorhood wasn't going to be a good scene.

Ah, too late. Someone has already informed your wife. Expect papers in the post

**evilC** · 11-02-2009, 12:09

Bachelorhood

Sultan of Bruno wrote:

...it would be a pity, I feel, to forsake relationships out of hand.

I ought to add that I didn't come to my conclusion lightly. Three longish-term relationships, each of which were subject to different kinds of disastrousness made me realise that I'm simply happiest alone.

**Bruno** · 11-02-2009, 12:10

Bachelorhood

It's complex.

sorry, evilC, didn't mean to imply you did. Poor choice of phrase on my part.

**Bruno** · 11-02-2009, 12:12

Bachelorhood

Incidentally, roughly how old are you?

**Guest** · 11-02-2009, 12:16

Bachelorhood

I like the bachelor lifestyle because I enjoy the freedom of being able to do what I want, when I want, and you have to sacrifice a lot of that when you're living with someone.
Maybe because my dad's been married 4 times,I've always seen marriage as little more than a social convention. If it makes other people happy then thats great,I'm all for it, but it's not really for me.
Also, to be honest, most of the girls around my age (mid 30s) if they're single they all seem to be a bit needy and desperate. And the younger girls in their 20s, I don't find that I have a lot in common with them.
At the moment,I'm having a no strings relationship with a girl, neither of us is looking for anything committed, so I'm not missing out on anything I wouldn't have if I was married/ cohabiting.

**Spearmint Rhino** · 11-02-2009, 12:16

Bachelorhood

I'm rubbish at being single. I've never gone more than 6 months outside of a proper relationship.

I've often had a whale of a time in those 6 single months, mind, but - much as I style myself as a loner who grew up an only child and is happy in his own company - the truth is that my default position is being with someone.

I don't think there's anything wrong - morally, existentially or any other way - with being single forever. Indeed, until fairly recently, it's always how I'd imagined myself entering old age.

**Cal Alamein** · 11-02-2009, 12:47

Bachelorhood

Twice a year we visit my wife's parents and I have a chance to spend the night at my old roomate's place and hang out w/ his friends - mostly all bachelors. His place is crammed full of books, magazine, dvd's, videos, bike parts, 4 computers, bigscreen tv, and a fridge full of beer with nothing else. It is great fun to stay up ridiculously late, watch videos, drink beer, reminisce, and bitch about the world. He is very content and it is great fun hanging out.

That said, I know that I'd be mush if I had to go back to bachelorhood. My wife calls the evenings my "boys night out" and that about describes it.

**Houdi Elbow** · 11-02-2009, 13:07

Bachelorhood

But curiously enough, I sometimes feel an immense sense of pride that I'll probably face oblivion alone.

50% of people in relationships probably will too.

**Femme Folle** · 11-02-2009, 13:22

Bachelorhood

evilC wrote:

Ahead of Valentine's Day and all that...

I'm not afraid to admit that I'm almost certainly a 'lifetime bachelor' from now on. My last relationship just did me in so much that I really don't think I ever want to be involved with anyone ever again. I also think I proved to myself that I'm really not cut out for relationships.

Me too.

But it's not necessarily a bad thing. I actually weigh it up sometimes and most of the time I'm really glad I'm not in a relationship.- I get to do what I want, when I want and I don't feel obliged to do anything other than that. It's great!

I know! Me too.

Oh - and in case you're wondering, I really don't miss the sex! I'm lucky, like that, I guess. I actually don't like the idea of having to get used to another person's body or any of their weird hang-ups or habits, right now.

Me either.

The silence is glorious, too, sometimes.

Yes, it is.

Quite frankly, I miss the company of dogs more than that of any kind of partner!

Me too! My cats do make up for not having a dog most of the time. If only I could convince one of them to walk on a leash outside, they would be perfect dog substitutes.

So... bachelorhood. Does anyone else here consider themselves a 'bachelor'? Is anyone particularly bothered by their relationship status? I suppose we could have a 'bachelors vs. lovers' debate, but it's really not meant to be a "my lifestyle choice is best" kind of thing. Just wondering what peoples' outlook on it all might be.

I am a bachelor and proud of it!

Why is it that the word used to describe single men is so much more positive than the one used to describe single women?

Why is that, Clive?

**Femme Folle** · 11-02-2009, 13:25

Bachelorhood

OTF is my Frankenstein relationship.

**hobbes** · 11-02-2009, 13:38

Bachelorhood

I like the bachelor lifestyle because I enjoy the freedom of being able to do what I want, when I want, and you have to sacrifice a lot of that when you're living with someone.

I can't think of a single thing I can't do now that I could when I lived on my own or with friends.
there are a few things I don't do, but that's more because I've grown out of them. I stopped doing them before P and I moved in together.
If you have to stop doing lots of stuff becuase of your relationship, I'd suggest it's the specific relationship at fault, not relationships in general.

Oh, my gaff when I lived on my own was lovely, by the way. I got bored of living in studenty tips when I was a student. I've always tried to live in nice places.

**E10 Rifle** · 11-02-2009, 13:59

Bachelorhood

Hobbes appears to be making a lot of sense on this thread. I think quite a lot of this boils down to how different people deal with how people cope with their own company, how prone to feelings of loneliness people are. Some are more resourceful in this regard than others. When I've been single I've rarely felt that lonely, because a by-product of that is that you tend to develop a wider network of friends.

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