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The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

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    The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

    I'm watching an old episode of Morse on ITV3. Quite enjoying it, too.

    The ads have just been on, though.

    One for the obligatory "have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?" ambulance-chasing legal aid bottom-feeders.

    Then the obligatory one for the debt "counsellors" (don't pay your creditors, pay us instead, we'll make it sound really nice until we send the bailiffs round! dot com).

    Then the one for the shitty car insurance comparison company. Know how to use a computer? Well enough to type our address into the browser? Too fucking thick or lazy to do just the same with a few well-known car insurance companies' names? Jolly good. Come and pay us a finders' fee premium, cockwit! Dot com.

    But then, the creme de la creme of end-it-all ads, Michael bloody Parkinson advertising a company that (for a fee, of course) will take your regular savings and then give some of them back to you when you die , just in case you're really worried about the cost of your own cremation. Your cremation! I'd be off down the canal myself, except I haven't got anything to tie the bricks to my ankles with.

    #2
    The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

    Ah, now, in the next ad break I can buy a "Quingo" 5-wheel mobility scooter, which apparently offers me much more freedom and happiness than a boring old 4-door one.

    And there's that happy little meerkat again!

    Life is better once you've had that first sherry, and looked at the three-year-old pictures of your grandchildren again. Who never ring. But they do love you.

    Oh fuck, look out, now Cilla bloody Black's on banging on about health assurance and inferring she was an instrumental part of the swinging sixties. With Ringo Starr!

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      #3
      The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

      Rogin the Armchair Fan wrote:
      But then, the creme de la creme of end-it-all ads, Michael bloody Parkinson advertising a company that (for a fee, of course) will take your regular savings and then give some of them back to you when you die , just in case you're really worried about the cost of your own cremation. Your cremation! I'd be off down the canal myself, except I haven't got anything to tie the bricks to my ankles with.
      That's even better than the ones we have here in the US asking old people to mail in their gold in paper envelopes in exchange for cash. Nothing could ever go wrong there, and that company seems very legitimate.

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        #4
        The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

        Rogin the Armchair Fan wrote:

        One for the obligatory "have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?" ambulance-chasing legal aid bottom-feeders.
        Fair play, they are quite good at getting compensation when some fuckwitted hospital has left your child permanently brain-damaged and paraplegic.

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          #5
          The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

          What's wrong with insurance comparison websites?

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            #6
            The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

            Here in Southern California, the famous personal injury lawyer commercial was for "The Law Offices of Larry H. Parker"--a really angry lawyer basically shouting in the camera saying "I'll FIGHT for you!"



            The commercials aways ended with a guy that said "Larry H. Parker got ME 2.1 million." Then the state passed a law that outlawed award amounts mentioned in TV commercials like that, so it changed to "Larry H. Parker got me...you know the story!".

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              #7
              The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

              By way of contrast, what with working at home today, I've just seen an ad for "Bravissima: lingerie for women with bigger boobs", which I must admit has been a bit of an unexpected bonus.

              Sorry. Carry on.

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                #8
                The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

                Fair play, they are quite good at getting compensation when some fuckwitted hospital has left your child permanently brain-damaged and paraplegic.
                Eggchaser, I'm sure they are, and - no-one could argue - well done if they do, but I doubt that's the potential market they're trawling at 11 am on a Monday's daytime cable TV with an advert featuring a bloke slipping off a ladder, grimacing, then standing up, rubbing his back and shaking his head wistfully.

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                  #9
                  The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

                  Wa ayat al Urbi wrote:
                  By way of contrast, what with working at home today, I've just seen an ad for "Bravissima: lingerie for women with bigger boobs", which I must admit has been a bit of an unexpected bonus.

                  Sorry. Carry on.
                  I drive past their head office every day. The traffic is usually snarled up outside and I'm always straining to see if the building has some sort of big bra testing room with the curtains open. Alas, it's simply folk working in various offices.

                  Er... carry on.

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                    #10
                    The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

                    I drive past their head office every day. The traffic is usually snarled up outside and I'm always straining to see if the building has some sort of big bra testing room with the curtains open.

                    Bravissima Scientist: Hmm...the Cup Royale needs more in the uplift section with mammarial overspill frequently occuring. Breast swelling and tumescent orbicularity at 90%, 20 percent more pronounced than in the previous fifteen tests. They can hold breasts of forty inches in size, but I fear that the cups may not be capable of full nipple concealment. Breast wobbling too loose to ensure compactness and bosom security and comfort. We may have to study those 500 or so full-size colour photographs again to review design revisions.

                    Could you prepare them, Simpkins?

                    Simpkins: (Dribbling) I.....I can't see...!

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                      #11
                      The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

                      Neither can I, now.

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                        #12
                        The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

                        My girlfriend wears a 34G, apparently. G. Why is there a "DD", then? "B, C, D, er, DD, E, ... er, F ...".

                        It's as confusing as shoe sizes. And they wonder why men can never shop for their girlfriends' clothes.

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                          #13
                          The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

                          That's even better than the ones we have here in the US asking old people to mail in their gold in paper envelopes in exchange for cash. Nothing could ever go wrong there, and that company seems very legitimate.
                          Shockingly, Cash4Gold may be ethically challenged. I'm quite surprised that this sort of thing is legal, even if they aren't actively cheating customers. For one thing, I doubt the US Postal Service is too keen on delivering large quantities of valuable, fenceable items. For another, how is this any less exploitative than predatory lending, which is illegal in most states?

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                            #14
                            The world's most depressing TV ad break ever

                            Ginger Yellow wrote:
                            That's even better than the ones we have here in the US asking old people to mail in their gold in paper envelopes in exchange for cash. Nothing could ever go wrong there, and that company seems very legitimate.
                            Shockingly, Cash4Gold may be ethically challenged. I'm quite surprised that this sort of thing is legal, even if they aren't actively cheating customers. For one thing, I doubt the US Postal Service is too keen on delivering large quantities of valuable, fenceable items. For another, how is this any less exploitative than predatory lending, which is illegal in most states?
                            Not sure if that's the one I've seen commercials for, but it's essentially the same. The commercials I remember all had a bunch of smiling senior citizens putting jewelry and gold pieces into a really chintzy envelope and getting a check in the mail. It's so obviously trying to get seniors to think that this is a great deal, and it's obscene how they're preying on them.

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