French ex-Pres Chirac Mauled by Poodle

[Bruno]

Dog said to be clinically depressed.

[WOM]

French ex-Pres Chirac Mauled by Poodle

My wife's grandmother has the cat turn on her, 'for no reason at all', at least once a month. After a bit of pressing, we find out that 'he had knots, so I tried to brush him'.

[EIM]

French ex-Pres Chirac Mauled by Poodle

I was once bitten by a monitor lizard.

[Gangster Octopus]

French ex-Pres Chirac Mauled by Poodle

You shouldn't've been running in the corridor...

[EIM]

French ex-Pres Chirac Mauled by Poodle

I wouldn't have run, if it hadn't have been chasing.