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    So, Paris, then (with kids)

    It had to happen, eventually. They pestered, and we capitulated; so on February 5th, we depart for a long weekend at Disneyland® Resort Paris with our eight year old and five year old in tow. Look, it's as well to get it over with, yeah? Besides, the last time I visited 'EuroDisney' was 1993, a few months after it opened, and hardly anything had been built - so at least this time round, there should be enough to do to fill three days.

    Except myself and m'lovely wife have decreed that, in an effort to inject some degree of cultural worth into the excursion, we will be taking the children (kicking and screaming, if needs be) into Paris, for a few hours around attractions that don't present that hazard of being ambushed by a man in a disc-eared mouse suit.

    So the time-honoured question is, where should we go? To be honest, since absolutely anywhere will provide welcome respite from the horror (the horror!) of Disneyland Paris (what is the place called these days?), we're not after particularly refined cultural experiences. Anything to keep the kids from bleating about Goofy and Pluto will do. Dangling them by their ankles from the top of the Eiffel Tower should go some way towards achieving this aim... but apart from that, any advice is appreciated.

    #2
    So, Paris, then (with kids)

    I just got back. I'll write something about it when I;m not watching a film.

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      #3
      So, Paris, then (with kids)

      Been there, done this, got the beret.

      Forget the Eiffel Tower, unless you think your two will cope with a 2-hour long queue. Get your daily "all destinations" metro ticket, head for Notre Dame first, not just for the cathedral (you and your good lady will enjoy it, but the kids, I expect, won't give a monkeys, unless they've seen the 1996 "Hunchback..." Disney film) but also for the bridge just up the river that's the one Madeline fell off and the dog rescued her from. Have they not seen "Madeline" (the 1998 film)? Show it them, before you go. Classic kid's film.

      Then get back onto the Metro and head up to the Arc de Triomphe. Again, not so much so you can chase them up the 500-odd stairs to the top, presenting amazing views of the whole of Paris (as soon as you get, wheezing, to the top, your kids will be asking: "can we go now, Dad?") but because right next to the Arc, on the street that runs down from it at (from memory) at kind of 10 o'clock (N-NW, or whatever that would be on a map) you'll find a McDonald's. I know, I know - but it's amazing how delighted kids can be by the prospect of fries and proper ketchup, and a McFlurry, after a long day's sightseeing with Mummy and Daddy.

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        #4
        So, Paris, then (with kids)

        The science and technology museum is very cool. However, keep an eye on your kids. My (then) three year-old decided to take off on me there, which led to what was almost certainly the worst five minutes of my entire life.

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          #5
          So, Paris, then (with kids)

          fuck it man, bring them to the louvre - when are they going to see anything like that again? if they complain that they are tired and their feet are sore, snap at them angrily and repeat that only a little pair of idiots wouldn't be impressed by what they are seeing; perhaps they will appreciate your stern guidance in later years. after a little while when they get uncontrollably bored, the eiffel tower is not far away on the other side of the river - when i was a kid i loved the eiffel tower because i got to go up high.

          i imagine an eight year old girl might be blown away by versailles. but the five year old would probably be crushingly bored, and versailles is a little trip out of town so it might be more trouble than it's worth.

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            #6
            So, Paris, then (with kids)

            Maybe you should do a deal with the kids: Tell them Disneyland is their special day. It's what they get to choose. In exchange you get a special day to choose what you want to do, without them complaining. Fair exchange, no?

            I'm not a parent, so I don't know if that'll work or not.

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              #7
              So, Paris, then (with kids)

              The easiest thing to do is take one of those hop on/ hop off buses, they will take you to all the sights and give a history of the city. My brother visited there with two kids (7&9) and gave the bus a thumbs up. It takes you to the door of all the sights. Getting the metro would be cheaper but would involve more walking and the kids are a bit too young for that.

              Re the Eifel tower, you could go up some of the steps instead, the queues for the lifts tend to be very long. If you have loads of money you could book a table in the restaurant there and that gets you to walk to the top of the queue http://www.restaurants-toureiffel.com/

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                #8
                So, Paris, then (with kids)

                There are loads of McDonalds in Paris, you don't have to go to the Champs Elysees for one.

                If your kids are into that sort of thing, the science and technolgy museum is pretty cool, by Canal St Martin. It's a bit out of the way though.

                If you do go the Eiffel Tower, there's a nice walk just to the West where there's a walkway down the middle of the Seine, to a mini-Statue of Liberty, which they might find cute - assuming they are aware of the big one!

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                  #9
                  So, Paris, then (with kids)

                  In addition to those already mentioned, I would suggest the Bateaux Mouches (or one of their competitors) and the less well known Canal boat along the Canal St. Martin, which ends up at the Science Museum at La Villette.

                  Don't sell the kids short, they may well surprise you.

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                    #10
                    So, Paris, then (with kids)

                    loose cannon wrote:
                    The easiest thing to do is take one of those hop on/ hop off buses, they will take you to all the sights and give a history of the city.
                    I'll second that evocation.

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                      #11
                      So, Paris, then (with kids)

                      Thanks for all your lovely suggestions. I don't get as much opportunity to use OTF as often as I used to, otherwise I would have been a bit more prompt with my expression of gratitude.

                      I agree with most of you that it's wise to err on the side of culture (you just can't get enough of the stuff, can you?) so a trip to the Louvre may well be part of the plan, especially if weather conditions are inclement. Which they aren't right here and now, by the way - I'm sitting with the window wide open and it's still January.

                      Anyway. The other thing I meant to ask was, does anyone have any tricks or tips for our time in the park itself? Like, how to eat cheaply without having to wrestle stale crumbs from the beaks of pigeons?

                      I'm a bit wary of posing this question, because we asked it of m'lovely wife's friend Rustic Shirley, who's been a couple of times lately, and she said that the hotels were fine but you shouldn't let the kids wander around the corridors on their own in case they were ABDUCTED BY PAEDOPHILES. According to her, abduction attempts by nonces are fairly regular occurrences in Uncle Walt's fairy cartoonland. WHILE SHE WAS THERE, in fact, the police apprehended one trying to make off with a sprog in the boot of his car. So, phew. Thanks for the heads-up on that one, Rustic Shirley! We'll be sure and have a great time there, regardless!

                      Jesus.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        So, Paris, then (with kids)

                        When we to Disney, the trick to being able to actually sit down and eat at Billy the Kid's Wild West restaurant, or whatever it was called, at a reasonable hour (ie between the time the kids start howling that they're starving, and the "magical parade" at 7pm - which, to be fair, is, actually, quite magical, if a bit long) was to go and book a table when the restaurants opened (from memory this was at about 3pm, but it might have been earlier). All the tables for that particular evening went within half an hour of that (as with everything at Disney, we had to queue just to book a table. For two hours later). Your alternative is having to feed your family on €10 Disney burgers and €10 Disney milkshakes while standing awkwardly on the street like hoboes. There's a strict bag-search on entry policy at Disney, you can bring cameras, videocameras and handguns into the place, but NO FOOD OR DRINK. Absolutely not. My kids were asked to chuck away their half-finished cartons of ribena that they'd been drinking on the Metro, before being allowed entry. Seriously.

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                          #13
                          So, Paris, then (with kids)

                          A couple of quick recommendations for Paris with small kids:

                          -the Jardin d'Acclimatation in Neuilly is a gem of a small park with a petting zoo and many old-school rides. When you're done, you can take the miniature train through the Bois de boulogne on to Porte Maillot and get on the metro (or taxi) from there.

                          -Avoid the bus as a means of sightseing during rush hour (8-9:30, 3:30-7:30 weekdays)

                          -You must take your kids to a live Guignol marionette show, the audience really gets into it. This is the French cousin to Punch an Judy. There are shows on Wednesday afternoons (school is out then, everywhere in France) and weekend afternoons. There is a theater on the Champs Elysees (below the Rond-Point des Ch-E.), and one in the Luxembourg garden.

                          -treats! street sweets (crepes, waffles, beignets) from vendors and from patisseries. Take the family for a hot chocolate and afternoon dessert at one of the fancy tea houses like Laduree (Rue Bonaparte is the original one, more room at the one on Rue Royale.) Both places have seating areas upstairs. Angelina rue de Rivoli is another good option, famous for their muddy thick hot chocolate.

                          tbc

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                            #14
                            So, Paris, then (with kids)

                            If you are going to take them to see some art, I'd suggest the musee d'orsay rather than the louvre, queues are shorter, and the pictures are prettier.

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                              #15
                              So, Paris, then (with kids)

                              We've timed this trip really badly, haven't we.

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                                #16
                                So, Paris, then (with kids)

                                Looks like it could be more of a Hamlet than a Carlsberg moment

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                                  #17
                                  So, Paris, then (with kids)

                                  I'm thinking we need to hear more about Rustic Shirley. She sounds like one of EIM's creations.

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                                    #18
                                    So, Paris, then (with kids)

                                    Like EIM, I might one day get round to writing in detail about what happened on our Parisian excursion. Suffice to say that whilst we enjoyed uncharacteristically (for February) good weather on our days in Le Parc de EuroDis, the Saturday on which we ventured into the capital itself was blighted by a snowstorm that made conditions thoroughly unbearable, and sadly precluded visits to any of the attractions suggested above, with the exception of the Eiffel Tower, of which the third stage was anyway closed for renovation.

                                    I should however mention that the Disney people really do need to consider changing the horrific klaxon-like sound that they broadcast on their PA to signal the opening of the park. We were sitting at our breakfast, mulling over the mounds of pain au chocolat, when a raucous clamor that wouldn't have sounded out of place announcing the start of global thermonuclear armageddon erupted from the speaker right above our heads. Come on, guys; watch an episode of Hi-De-Hi, yeah?

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