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WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

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    WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

    Another example of life imitating The Onion.

    Father Pakrat is a name I could easily call my old Dad, although I think he's better now since Mum put her foot down.

    November 9, 2008
    Monks Brawl at Christian Holy Site in Jerusalem
    By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

    Filed at 10:52 a.m. ET

    JERUSALEM (AP) -- Israeli police rushed into one of Christianity's holiest churches Sunday and arrested two clergyman after an argument between monks erupted into a brawl next to the site of Jesus' tomb.

    The clash between Armenian and Greek Orthodox monks broke out in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, revered as the site of Jesus' crucifixion, burial and resurrection.

    The brawling began during a procession of Armenian clergymen commemorating the 4th-century discovery of the cross believed to have been used to crucify Jesus.

    The Greeks objected to the march without one of their monks present, fearing that otherwise, the procession would subvert their own claim to the Edicule -- the ancient structure built on what is believed to be the tomb of Jesus -- and give the Armenians a claim to the site.

    The Armenians refused, and when they tried to march the Greek Orthodox monks blocked their way, sparking the brawl.

    Police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said police were forced to intervene after fighting was reported. They arrested two monks, one from each side, he said.

    A bearded Armenian monk in a red-and-pink robe and a black-clad Greek Orthodox monk with a bloody gash on his forehead were both taken away in handcuffs after scuffling with dozens of riot police.

    Six Christian sects divide control of the ancient church. They regularly fight over turf and influence, and Israeli police are occasionally forced to intervene.

    ''We were keeping resistance so that the procession could not pass through ... and establish a right that they don't have,'' said a young Greek Orthodox monk with a cut next to his left eye.

    The monk, who gave his name as Serafim, said he sustained the wound when an Armenian punched him from behind and broke his glasses.

    Father Pakrat of the Armenian Patriarchate said the Greek demand was ''against the status quo arrangement and against the internal arrangement of the Holy Sepulcher.'' He said the Greeks attacked first.

    Archbishop Aristarchos, the chief secretary of the Greek Orthodox patriarchate, denied his monks initiated the violence.

    After the brawl, the church was crowded with Israeli riot police holding assault rifles, standing beside Golgotha, where Jesus is believed to have been crucified, and the long smooth stone marking the place where tradition holds his body was laid out.

    The feud is only one of a bewildering array of rivalries among churchmen in the Holy Sepulcher.

    The Israeli government has long wanted to build a fire exit in the church, which regularly fills with thousands of pilgrims and has only one main door, but the sects cannot agree where the exit will be built.

    A ladder placed on a ledge over the entrance sometime in the 19th century has remained there ever since because of a dispute over who has the authority to take it down.

    More recently, a spat between Ethiopian and Coptic Christians is delaying badly needed renovations to a rooftop monastery that engineers say could collapse.

    #2
    WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

    The spat isn't between Ethiopians and Copts, but plain intransigence by Copts. But maybe I'm biased. A couple of years ago I entered the church of the Holy Sepulchre from the rooftop entrance which leads to the Ethiopian chapel and banged my head on the small doorway. As I fell back, I shouted out very loudly "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck." When I eventually got up and entered the chapel, a kindly Ethiopian monk smiled at me and rubbed his head in a show of compassion and understanding.

    Anyway, the church of the Holy Sepulchre is a place of high comedy. Standing on a window ledge above the main court yard there is a ladder which probably was left there by a workman. In 18something. But nobody knows who was responsible for leaving it there, and if one church decides to move it, the other will fear that this would compromise their territorial rights. So the churches party to the status quo agreement must find consensus on moving the ladder, and who will do so. They have yet to find such consensus. Incredible.

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      #3
      WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

      The BBC has a video of the scrap, and everything (although I guess it'll be limited to UK-based viewers only?).

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        #4
        WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

        It isn't, TMA. Thanks for the link.

        They do kinda fight like girls, don't they? teehee

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          #5
          WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

          There's only one man who can sort this out......

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            #6
            WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

            I bought one of these for a catholic friend:



            Just seemed semi-relevant, sorry. Carry on.

            Andrew Mueller's good in his new book in the chapter about this very shrine, and the fights that break out between rival tour operators representing various religions.

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              #7
              WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

              This is Life of Brian, the Sequel, isn't it?

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                #8
                WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

                I'd love to read the Mueller perspective.

                It's hilarious how these goons go on there. The place of Christ's crucifixion (very likely), burial (possible) and therefore, if you go in for that kind of thing, resurrection, and these followers of Christ throw pretty much everything their man taught out of the window.

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                  #9
                  WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

                  Shouldn't this thread title have been "WHEN CHRISTIAN MONKS ATTACK!" ?

                  Mind you, Greg Evigan is looking remarkably chipper these days, isn't he?

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                    #10
                    WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

                    The Shaolin monks could clearly take the church easily if that is the best the Coptics and Ethiopians can manage. With one of the world's holiest sites at stake you'd expect much more aggression.

                    I say lets get the fight on as a qualifier for the World's Hardest Religion title. I'm happy to negotiate TV rights in exchange for a 90% cut.

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                      #11
                      WHEN MONKS ATTACK!

                      I blame the Patriarchate.

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