I think it's the completely natural tendency of parents to say that this is literally THE BEST thing that can happen to anyone. For someone who might not have the possibility of that, hearing that stuff is fucking depressing. But that's not to say that parents shouldn't say it.
Quite, Lyra. Although I'd change "might not have" to "no longer has".
I can get a shirt in the mail this afternoon; there may still be time.
He's got an Azzurri shirt that my brother brought back from his recent trip. Trouble is it's got Totti on it, and we're not really Totti people. We don't have any Rossoneri stuff, and just to show you the kind of broad-minded Milanista I am I would happily see him in the blue-black as long as it was a player I liked. But a Maldini jersey for ages 2-4 (Italy or Milan) would be just the thing, should I PM you my addy?
Two and a half years ago, the first time we celebrated Christmas at my future mother-in-law's place, she thought it prudent to give my then-girlfriend (now-fiancée) a thermometer and a notebook, so that she could map out at what point she would be most fertile. I guess it's fair to say that some parental pressure is present, and that my future mother-in-law is not the most subtle of persons.
Fortunately, I can be very stubborn if I need to. Nevertheless, biological reasons dictate that we should probably get on with it if we ever want kids. Perhaps in the next five years or so.
Jesus christ. You're a better man than I if you didn't say something acerbic or downright rude in response to that. Something like "what I do with my penis is none of your fucking business."
We got round it by telling everyone in the family whenever the subject came up in any context whatsoever that we had no intention of ever having children. That pretty much put paid to that conversation right up until we got a bit drunk on holiday and got knocked up.
This is quite bizarre. I had this conversation inflicted on me today. However annoying this conversation is if you're in a long term relationship, it's considerably more annoying if you aren't, and have been restricted to two social outings since november. You can end this conversation quite quickly if you become too angry to worry about the consequences of what you are saying.
I’ve never had pressure from anyone; if anyone asks why I don’t have kids the answers are simple - I saw two siblings’ lives go from fun to stressed-out crap with the arrival of babies, and I can’t stand the noise or the smell of poo. Also, I dislike commitment. And pain. And worry.
My mother in law went on about it a bit, but my Russian wasn’t fluent enough for me to get exactly what she was saying and I didn’t have to spend much time with her.
Odd reading this ten-year-old thread from the start, finding that I'd contributed back then, and that my point of view hasn't changed - despite in that time going from 35 years old to 45; meeting, settling down with and marrying my partner; and throughout it all, being a godparent.
If the parents of my goddaughter thought they could tip me over into seeing the benefit of wanting kids by asking me to take up that role (and it was hinted at), it was a swing and a miss.
Funny to see how hobbes' feelings have shifted, which is nice. I'm all for people loving any children that they do have, and most of us are here not entirely by design.
It is pretty weird how it happens. I mean, I really had no interest in kids. It wasn't a bluff, I meant it. Even when we found out P was pregnant I absolutely wasn't sure about what we were doing at all.
Over the course of the pregnancy, I sort of talked myself into it a bit because P needed me positive and focused.
I'll be honest, I was still thinking it was all a bit of a mistake in the delivery room.
And then as trite and dumb as it sounds, I saw him. And heard him. And most of all smelled him and all that went away.
While the midwife sorted P out I was bundled out of the way with this tiny, bright purple bundle of grumpiness in my arms. And all I could think was "Ah right. I get it." From then on I don't think it's ever occurred to me that it was anything other than wonderful. Even the first time I changed his nappy and he shat merconium and pissed on me at the same time.
We have friends who don't have or want kids and I'd never suggest they were wrong. And if the cub hadn't come along, we'd have been perfectly happy. But I wouldn't change a second of it. Hard as it sometimes is and as difficult and life changing (especially without a nearby family to help out sometimes) I am overcome with love and joy and terror every time I see the little bugger.
One is enough though. He sleeps like an angel. Wouldn't want to risk getting one that doesn't.
We both wanted kids (still do, which is fortunate). And similar to hobbes, the moment my daughter was born was - and remains - the single most wonderful moment of my life. I felt a 'feeling' run through me as soon as I laid eyes on her that I'd never felt before or since. Like electricity, or whatever coke-heads feel and keep chasing, or something.
Didn't feel it the same way with the boy, but then I'd been a dad for a couple of years by then. The girl and I are much closer, and L and my son are, too. They say it usually happens that way.
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