Bad stuff thread

[Crystal Staples]

Bad stuff thread

WornOldMotorbike wrote:

Or kids running round chasing them, with an onlooking parent chuckling at the cuteness instead of teaching right from wrong.

Well, how old are we talking about here? I can't see much wrong with a 3 year old chasing birds around a park, but I think I'd get a bit frowny myself if they were 13.

The couple of instances I've seen recently, 3-5 years old, but it was the parent sitting and watching but not discouraging it that pissed me off both times.

[WOM]

Bad stuff thread

Why should parents discourage their children from chasing a couple of pigeons around a park? Isn't that just about one of the most innocent things a child could possibly do; you know, besides running along rolling a hoop with a stick.

[EIM]

Bad stuff thread

It's a gateway to civil unrest, man. Today pigeons, tomorrow shooting up crack and murdering convenience store owners.

[My Name Is Ian]

Bad stuff thread

I am a fucking idiot.

I need £800 by 9.30 this morning (flat deposit money), so I have to go to the bank for 9.00 to get it, but to do this, I need my passport as secondary ID. And could I find it this morning? Could I fuck. I spent about half an hour looking in everywhere that I could think of, with that sinking "no flat" feeling welling and welling in the pit of my stomach.

Then my partner wandered in, looked in the most obvious place (which I had forgotten) and found it straight away. Fear followed by relief and emasculation. Not my ideal way to start the day.

[dotmund]

Bad stuff thread

Was it in your Big Woolly Passport Stocking, nailed to the wall by the fridge? God, maybe it was in a pigeon's beak. The little feathery swine clasping the important document in its manky chops for all it's worth - probably to try and buy itself some gin. Then you'd be chasing it down the street and everyone would say, "stop chasing pigeons!" You'd reply, "But it has my passport!". "A likely story," they'd respond, "your behaviour sets a bad example for the young".

What an absurd situation to be in. I say, let's kill all the pigeons. Identity Theft is rife enough.

[Nico Rijnders]

Bad stuff thread

EIM wrote:

Today pigeons, tomorrow shooting up crack and murdering convenience store owners.

If this is spoilers, then NO SPOILERS.

[dotmund]

Bad stuff thread

Pigeons can't shoot up crack, they don't have the thumbs for it. Maybe a pigeon could, working together with a couple of rats?

[Third rate Leszno]

Bad stuff thread

I'm still laughing at dotmund's pigeon-related diversion... but anyway

People at work who are terribly grade conscious, won't speak to you or even acknowledge your presence unless you are senior to them (and they wish to kiss your ring in supplication) or can in some way affect their career.

You meet them, maybe half a dozen times over the course of a year, some of these times you may be doing a presentation at which you open by saying, "Hello - I'm bewaldeth and I'm going to talk to you today about....", at others you may be greeted many times by less cunty colleagues whilst this person is sitting there. And yet.... you make so much impression on them, that when you finally do something (a fuck up, as it turns out) and they reluctantly become aware of your miserable, pondlife existence, they email you and say "Hi - I don't think we've met. I'm Cunty McCuntchops and I'm fucking great. If you ever do anything again that might make me aware of your oxygen theft, I expect you to copy me in. KRs, ...."

I would never, ever get tired of punching people like this.

[Eggchaser]

Bad stuff thread

Every other fucking road user. Yesterday a cunt in a van came round a blind corner on the wrong side of the road merely to queue jump to the head of the lights and was about half a foot away from killing me and the taxi driver. This morning a cunt in a green Impreza came up the left/straight on filter lane of a roundabout and then veered in front of me to make sure he got a whole car's length (mine) ahead of me in the great snake of traffic wending through the Epping Forest. Then some cunt in a Corsa charged across the crossroads in at Church Hill Loughton despite having seen me and clearly not having enough time, causing me to have to jam on my brakes so hard I stalled. Cunts.

There is one other pack of cunts that are fucking up my enjoyment of my environs at present, but I got flamed to death a few years back for criticising them so I'll just fume about them elsewhere.

[My Name Is Ian]

Bad stuff thread

I suspect that Dotmund had too much Vimto on his cornflakes this morning.

Anyway, so I get to the NatWest on Western Road this morning, having been told my their website that it is the only branch in Brighton that opens at 9, only to find that it doesn't open until 9.30. And then. AND THEN. I get inside and I didn't need anything other than my Switch card and my PIN number. I don't know why I'm so angry them making my life theoretically easier, but I am.

Anyway, it's all sorted now. You may all call me "Ian Two Flats" for the next two and a half weeks.

[Gangster Octopus]

Bad stuff thread

twohundredpercent wrote:

You may all call me "Ian Two Flats" for the next two and a half weeks.

Actually, on here, you'll be know as "Two Hundred Two Flats"...

[dotmund]

Bad stuff thread

He has 202 flats.

[Vulgarian Visigoth]

Bad stuff thread

gerontophile wrote:

(something from the good stuff thread)

I was wandering along the seafront about 3 weeks ago on a gorgeous sunny day, and I stopped to look at the sea.

I am lost in my thoughts, when I hear a shrill voice screaming "Oy! Stop looking at my kids you fucking paedo"

Do you look that gay?

[Guest]

Bad stuff thread

?

[Vulgarian Visigoth]

Bad stuff thread

Err...gerontophile being gay....ignorant plebs identifying homosexuality with paedophilia.....you get the picture.....Never mind, it doesn't really work if you explain it, not that it was that funny in the first place...

[Guest]

Bad stuff thread

I'm off to look at another flatshare shortly. Please please please let this work out. Over the last week they have built scaffolding all over the current building and men keep marching past the window and then today one marched in to measure the window. And it's warm so that revolting lech keeps walking round in nothing but shorts.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Bad stuff thread

At least he keeps his shorts on, be thankful for small mercies.

[Alderman Barnes]

Bad stuff thread

I was up in the loft last weekend looking at the rafters and got a fucking great splinter right up under the nail of my typing finger (middle finger, right hand). Oooh - it doesn't half smart.

[Mumpo]

Bad stuff thread

Fuck. My Roget's Thesaurus has finally fallen apart. I've had it since I was twelve. It's split right down the spine, between 683. Inactivity and 684. Haste. It's like losing an old friend. OK, a pet, perhaps. If I stick my face between the pages, it still smells the same as it did 27 years ago. It's so reassuring.

I think I'll set fire to it tomorrow.

[WOM]

Bad stuff thread

What's another word for Thesaurus?

Bahahahahahaaaaaaa. etc.

If I stick my face between the pages, it still smells the same as it did 27 yeras ago

Sentence of the week, right there.

[Guest]

Bad stuff thread

Eczema.