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Abusing oneself in hedgerows

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    Abusing oneself in hedgerows

    A few years back, I attended a friend's birthday party at what is basically a glorified campsite on the outskirts of Guildford. Now, at the end of the evening as I was walking away from it down the darkened approach track, I became aware of a strange blue light hovering ahead of me in the near-total blackness.

    I was a bit spooked out at first, but as I was almost on top of it, I realised it was the light from a car dashboard ...and that there were people sitting in the back - not the front - seats. This spooked me out afresh and I hastened my step. No sooner had I done so than I heard a rustling sound to my left and a man wielding a torch emerged through the hedge from the grassy field beyond (where people would normally walk their dogs). Someone was following him, too.

    Again, I was a bit concerned by this: here I was in the middle of nowhere in (almost) the middle of the night and yet people with large torches were doing strange things in fields and hedgerows. Was I witnessing a murder? a body-dumping? Some gangland extortion? Then I almost walked into another parked car in the darkness. As my eyes continued to adjust to the gloom, I realised that there were people in that one too ...and there was another car beyond that ...and another.

    It was then it dawned on me that what I was witnessing wasn't some horrible conspiracy ...well, not in the usual sense of the word - but it was still horrible: this was my first encounter with the practice of Dogging!

    Now, those of you who know me will probably know that I used to attend the occasional fetish club and am basically a casual borderline perv. However, it's more the dressing-up and 'exotification' of sexuality that is appealing about that scene. By contrast, I totally fail to see what is in the slightest bit appealing about shuffling one off whilst spying on blotchy chavs and middle-aged couples squelching in their beaten-up Rep-mobiles! So... can anyone enlighten me as to what the appeal of such seediness is? Has anyone else also witnessed the practice at close hand (if you'll pardon the pun) or perhaps even partaken of that particular earthly delight?

    I feel slightly queasy now. Perhaps it was the chicken tandoori sandwich I had earlier.
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