My day to pretend to be James Martin

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

It's kind of our tradition that we have Xmas Day at Signora Rogin's sister with her Dad, and Boxing Day here with her Mum (Mum and Dad have been separated for decades). So today I get to cook a roast for us. Pork this year, with all your normal veg, tarted about with for Xmas like chopped chestnuts in the sprouts and honey on the parsnips. I love doing it - something's very zen about preparing and cooking a roast.

Did any of OTF cook the big meal yesterday or like me are doing one today, and did it go well?

[Patrick Thistle]

I cooked the roast yesterday. Although it was Quorn fillets with a stuffing topping, not actual meat. Worked well though. Roasted pots and snips. Sprouts, carrots and peas.

[torres]

I do all our cooking all of the time. Yesterday's was turkey with a pork stuffing, sage and onion stuffing, roast parsnips, roast sprouts, roast carrots, roast spuds and broccoli.

Also done two vegan dinners for the veggies among us.

The word legend is bandied about far too easily these days.

[Benjm]

I hope that your pretending to be James Martin stops short of spending the day behaving like a lairy, Top Gear wannabe, leaden bantz twat.

Er, Merry Boxing Day!


I didn't do Christmas lunch this year. I quite enjoy it when I do, although turkey doesn't always repay the love and attention lavished upon it.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

For all that he does knock up a bloody good roast on the telly though and isn't Jamie Cocking Oliver.

[Benjm]

"Neither Martin nor Oliver but international home cooking!"

To be fair, there aren't many people whose personalities are flattered by the glare of anchoring one of those rolling weekend morning shows. There's a lot of unscripted time to fill.

I'm off to Sainsburys to see whether there's any irresistible post-Christmas bargains. I'll try not to fall into the enormous but cheap lump of Stilton trap, as in previous years.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Oh him. The kitchen's answer to Tim Lovejoy.

[WOM]

I had the job of getting the turkey ready for the oven. The neck was in the cavity, but no giblets. So off I went to buy a bag at the butcher's, which went fine.
Then as I was stuffing the bird, I found the meagre giblets in the little neck cavity. Who the fuck puts them there? Anyway, I'd have had to go and get more anyway, but seriously...the neck cavity? I supposed I could have checked and all, but still....

[DCI Harry Batt]

This is the kind of thing that puts me off all the cheffery.

[EIM]

James Martin is a fucking bellend

[Snake Plissken]

Aye. I always do the Christmas roast for myself and Mrs P. For some reason I find it all terribly relaxing, especially when catching up with the latest episodes of ISIHAC.

[JVL]

A childhood friend of my Mum lives in the same village as James Martin and he concurs with this opinion.

[Sean of the Shed]

James Martin is a fucking bellend

This. Absolutely. James Martin's only redeeming quality is that he isn't Gordon Ramsey.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Gordon Ramsey's definitely sly. One of those chefs who just write their own reviews on screen (Oliver does this). His roast pork this afternoon at my gaffe no matter how it comes out would be "lovely, fresh and pink", or "delicious, well done and crisp", or "succulent, fatty and chewy". A lot of this bunch rely on that verbal programming technique to insist that what they've done is fucking brilliant and how you'd want it and anyone who disagrees is an idiot.

[ad hoc]

I did ours on Christmas Eve (it was the standard British Christmas Dinner - vegetarian version - because yesterday was the all day extended eating fest of the local sort)

[San Bernardhinault]

Gordon Ramsey's definitely sly. One of those chefs who just write their own reviews on screen (Oliver does this). His roast pork this afternoon at my gaffe no matter how it comes out would be "lovely, fresh and pink", or "delicious, well done and crisp", or "succulent, fatty and chewy". A lot of this bunch rely on that verbal programming technique to insist that what they've done is fucking brilliant and how you'd want it and anyone who disagrees is an idiot.

I hate that from TV chefs, but I hate it from menus more. On the TV I can't make my own decision about whether it's a "delicious" or "delightful" whatever. If I can buy the damned thing, I can tell for myself whether it's delicious; and - also - I fucking hope everything on a menu is delicious, or else take it off.

Anyway, I cooked Christmas Eve dinner of English-style sunday roast, then got super-lazy since.

[hobbes]

Did full Xmas dinner (with beef) for 8 on Saturday at my Mum's as she'd knackered her foot. Then dinner for 5 on Sunday (in laws arrived) and a full xmas dinner for 7 (Turkey) including making a wicked smart desert and fresh bread and 2 types of pate for starter, yesterday.
Today we went out for lunch.

[Gerontophile]

I cooked a lasagne, and a macaroni cheese, ate a bit of both, then went to bed.

Judging by the leftovers, I think we have an invisible dog...

[RobM]

Pretty much become a vegetarian , mostly for health reasons but I've never been entirely comfortable eating meat, had a Quorn roast and have to admit to being pleasantly surprised by how palatable it was.