The Joy of Chatbots

[Sits]

I am awaiting a parcel delivery courtesy of Australia Post. It's a Christmas present for my daughter. Here is a transcript for you to enjoy:



Australia Post: Hi, I'm the Australia Post chatbot. I can help you track your parcel and answer questions about our products and services.

Sits: Hi, I was told to expect my package on Friday 14th, Has not come yet and the tracker has not updated since 17t

AP: To track your parcel I'll need your tracking number.

Here's what to do if you don't have your tracking number or need help to find it.

S: [tracking number]

AP: I can see that your status of In transit hasn't changed in a couple of days.
Contact us so that we can help.
Let me know if you have any more questions.

S: Just to know that it is genuinely in transit and not stuck somewhere, or delivered to the wrong place

AP: If your parcel has a status of ‘In transit’ there’s still time to change the address.
Manage your delivery in transit.
Once your parcel has been delivered we are not able to retrieve it. Why not contact the address where the parcel was sent and ask them to send it back to you?
Let me know if you have any more questions.

S: I work in the same premises, I am here

AP: Are you looking for…;
•What are my delivery options?
•What does my status mean?

S: No, I want to know where it is

AP: Do you want to find out where [tracking number] is, or is your question about a parcel with a different tracking number?
•This parcel
•A different parcel

S: Are you reading my questions?

AP: If you ask your question in another way I might be able to help.
Let me know if you have any more questions.

S: Why has my parcel not been delivered

AP: Do you want to find out where [tracking number] is, or is your question about a parcel with a different tracking number?
•This parcel
•A different parcel

S: This chat is useless

AP: If you ask your question in another way I might be able to help.
Let me know if you have any more questions.

[Femme Folle]

Seriously, there is nothing more annoying than having a chatbot tell you something that you already knew because you can read and use the internet.

[SouthdownRebel]

People in the digital industry get very excited about Chatbots because they're shiny and they cannot foresee obvious problems. This is the result.

[Patrick Thistle]

People in the digital industry get very excited about Chatbots because they're shiny and they cannot foresee obvious problems. This is the result.

Is that people in the digital industry who are shiny and can't foresee obvious problems or the chatbots that are shiny and can't foresee problems?

[SouthdownRebel]

Both.

[adams house cat]

There is a place in hell reserved for the person who invented the chatbot. Next to the one for the person who invented the automatic switchboard.

[Jah Womble]

"Would you like to proceed straight to Hades, or remain in purgatory until further notice?

I'm sorry I didn't get that."

[MsD]

Years ago when I was doing internet radio, the app came with a chat room. I programmed one of the bots with a few phrases and called it Marco, (as Marco Pirroni used to do the show with me sometimes) several people thought it was the real thing they were conversing with. Things like “i’m reading a comic” “batman” “yeh its my favourite” “great” “no” “thanks” “ive got a new guitar” and my favourite “i like fashion models”.

[Snake Plissken]

Is that people in the digital industry who are shiny and can't foresee obvious problems or the chatbots that are shiny and can't foresee problems?

It’s those using them as an interface to a poorly setup search engine that are doing it wrong.

[adams house cat]

Good JW.