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Peggy

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    Peggy

    I could see that she had been a real stunner at one time but she had been around quite a few blocks and seen the bottom of too many shot glasses since then. Still had that twinkle.

    "Can you tell me what happened?"

    "Well,I had a bowling tournament. I like bowling. I'm pretty good at it. Last year I had an average of 265. That's pretty good, ain't it?"

    I nodded. What I know about bowling you could write on a gnat's eyelid. In braille.

    "Anyway, it was an individual competition and I fancied my chances. My car is in the shop so I asked Bobby, he's my brother, Bobby, if he would drive me there and pick me up. I told him I had to be at he at the alley about seven to practice. He picked me up about six and we drove to the alley. When we were in the parking lot he pulled out this massive doobie. I swear, this was the size of a hot dog. I said 'Bobby,I can't smoke that.I gotta bowl.' He said not to worry.It will just relax you a little bit. 'You sure?'

    Anyway again, I went in to the alley and practiced some and I felt fine. They called the competition and I went up to bowl. And the pins started waving around."

    "Waving around?"

    "Yeah. Like grass in the wind. So I stopped and they stopped waving. I started again and they started waving around again. This happened again and my friend Luanne came to me and said 'Peggy. What's wrong with you? If you don't bowl they're gonna call you and you'll be out.' I told her the pins was waving around.

    "She looked at me like I was shit house crazy and told me I had better bowl. So I did and and whaddya know. It was a strike!"

    I made a sound to indicate that I was suitably impressed.

    "I kept bowling and the pins waved less and less and I bowled 254 and won the competition. $150!"

    I made my impressed sound again.

    "Bobby came to pick me up at about 10.30 and I said to him 'I oughta kill you. I was so stoned the pins were waving around but I won so I'm gonna forgive you.' He hugged me and said we should go and celebrate at the Top Deck. That's a big bar downtown. You heard of it?"

    I had heard of it. Many times.

    "So we smoked some more and went to the Top Deck. I was having a great time and, it's true, I was getting all lickered up when I heard this ruckus and saw this massive guy beating up on Bobby. I yelled at him to leave my baby brother alone and jumped on his back. Turns out he was a bouncer and he was trying to throw Bobby out. I'm on this guy's back and beating on him and cursing him out and he shakes me off and I land on the floor on my butt. It still hurts. He throws Bobby out and comes back and starts dragging me to the door. I guess I was screaming at him and beating on him and he throws me through the door and I yell that he is a big fat ugly pig and he slams the door.

    "So me and Bobby are sitting in the parking lot and I say to Bobby 'What was he throwing you out for?' 'I just said the waitress had nice tits.' 'That's all?' 'I touched one of 'em to see if they was real.' 'Bobby, I swear sometimes I think you should have a Vietnamese name..."

    I had to ask. "Vietnamese name?"

    "Yeah. Yoo Dum Fuk. Anyway I told Bobby I had left my purse in there. He said he would go get it. He went up to the door but the ape told him to fuck off. Bobby said he just wanted my purse and tried to walk past him. The guy started beating up on Bobby again so I yelled that he was a big fat ugly pig again and hit him with a trash bin. Somebody called the cops and that's why I'm here, I guess."
    Last edited by adams house cat; 28-09-2018, 17:35.

    #2
    These stories are bloody Glorious. How do you keep a straight face?

    265 seems pretty good.

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      #3
      All I know about bowling is 300 is a perfect game (all strikes) so 265 must be decent.

      Great story AHC

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        #4
        265 is ridiculous

        No touring pro would have an average that high, but then they bowl on fair lanes.

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          #5
          I've only bowled about two or three times in my life. I was told to stop when my leg break took out the pins in the next lane.

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            #6
            I knew it was the right choice to save this until after reading the bad stuff. Fantastic.

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              #7
              Originally posted by adams house cat View Post
              I've only bowled about two or three times in my life. I was told to stop when my leg break took out the pins in the next lane.
              Maybe stick with the flipper or top spinner?

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