I've mentioned Erin before. The office diva. She was a Boston Irish girl. Boston Irish aristocracy really. She remembers Ted Kennedy and Tip O'Neill coming for dinner. Her two closest friends in the office were Candace and Yolande. Candace was from the Alabama pine country, raised on a farm with five older brothers she liked a fight. She wouldn't slap you, it was a real punch. She had three passions outside of work, Maker's Mark, NASCAR and college football. Yolande was a small black girl from the Chicago projects who was raise by a single mother and worked through college and law school. Three more different girls you would not find. They were great friends.
Candace came into my office Thursday and asked me for a favor.
"Shoot."
"Erin, Yolande and I would like to do a girls night out Saturday but we need a designated driver and your Kathy doesn't drink much so...would you mind if we asked her?"
"No. Go ahead. I'm duty attorney anyway so I'm not going anywhere."
When I got home Mrs. House Cat told me Candace had called and asked and would I mind?
"No. Have fun stay out of trouble."
Saturday evening rolled around and the four of them set off in Yolande's VW to paint the town red, or at least beige.
Dozing at 3 am I was jerked awake by the phone.
"Mr. Currie? This is Farmington Police Station. I have a problem."
"Yeah?"
"I have four ladies in here. Three say they are public defenders and the other says she is married to one.'
"I'm on my way."
Jeez. DWI, assault. What the fuck have they got into?
The four of them are sitting in an interview room as I get showed in. They all pipe up at once.
"Alright. One at a time. What the hell happened? It was supposed to be a night out. How come you got arrested?
Seems that they had been to a restaurant and a couple of bars and decided to finish the night off at the Three Rivers, a large brew pub down town. In there were six guys who took a shine to the girls and made the usual approach of the country casanova. Tey were told, politely, to go away, then less politely, then "Fuck off."
Then one of the wannabe lotharios grabbed at Candace's boobs. As I said she was raised on a farm with five older brothers who taught her to fight. She punched this idiot in the teeth, dislodging one. The boys went for the girls and all hell broke loose and the girls proceeded to knock the crap out of these fancy men. The cops were called and here we all were at the police station.
I was still taking all this in when I was told that the men wanted to press charges. The girls had done a number on them. Two lost teeth, couple black eyes, somebody's ear appeared to be hanging off. Jesus! What now?
The duty DA walked in. It was David Oliver, a good bloke and a friend. "I've just spoken to our complaining witnesses in there. They are not happy."
"How about release ROR on police bail? Get 'em in front of a judge Monday?"
"I think I can do better than that."
He left the room. The girls were all looking at me. "See what David says."
Yolande spoke. "What do you think will happen?"
"You all know David. He's reasonable. Let's get you out of here for now."
Oliver came back into the room. "They aren't pressing charges."
"Why?"
"I explained to them that it will make a great story. How six macho men had their asses handed to them by four middle aged ladies..."
"Who are you calling middle aged?"
"Shut up Erin. Go on David."
"... would make great press. Papers, TV, be all over it."
"What they say."
"Drop it. You better get these wild women home."
Thanks David.I owe you one."
I followed Mrs.House Cat as she drove the girls home then we drove home together. She was quite for a while. "Sorry."
"No harm done. Apart from to those deperados you beat up."
"Anyway. I'm sorry." Then I heard her chuckling.
"What are you laughing at?
"But it was such FUN!"
Candace came into my office Thursday and asked me for a favor.
"Shoot."
"Erin, Yolande and I would like to do a girls night out Saturday but we need a designated driver and your Kathy doesn't drink much so...would you mind if we asked her?"
"No. Go ahead. I'm duty attorney anyway so I'm not going anywhere."
When I got home Mrs. House Cat told me Candace had called and asked and would I mind?
"No. Have fun stay out of trouble."
Saturday evening rolled around and the four of them set off in Yolande's VW to paint the town red, or at least beige.
Dozing at 3 am I was jerked awake by the phone.
"Mr. Currie? This is Farmington Police Station. I have a problem."
"Yeah?"
"I have four ladies in here. Three say they are public defenders and the other says she is married to one.'
"I'm on my way."
Jeez. DWI, assault. What the fuck have they got into?
The four of them are sitting in an interview room as I get showed in. They all pipe up at once.
"Alright. One at a time. What the hell happened? It was supposed to be a night out. How come you got arrested?
Seems that they had been to a restaurant and a couple of bars and decided to finish the night off at the Three Rivers, a large brew pub down town. In there were six guys who took a shine to the girls and made the usual approach of the country casanova. Tey were told, politely, to go away, then less politely, then "Fuck off."
Then one of the wannabe lotharios grabbed at Candace's boobs. As I said she was raised on a farm with five older brothers who taught her to fight. She punched this idiot in the teeth, dislodging one. The boys went for the girls and all hell broke loose and the girls proceeded to knock the crap out of these fancy men. The cops were called and here we all were at the police station.
I was still taking all this in when I was told that the men wanted to press charges. The girls had done a number on them. Two lost teeth, couple black eyes, somebody's ear appeared to be hanging off. Jesus! What now?
The duty DA walked in. It was David Oliver, a good bloke and a friend. "I've just spoken to our complaining witnesses in there. They are not happy."
"How about release ROR on police bail? Get 'em in front of a judge Monday?"
"I think I can do better than that."
He left the room. The girls were all looking at me. "See what David says."
Yolande spoke. "What do you think will happen?"
"You all know David. He's reasonable. Let's get you out of here for now."
Oliver came back into the room. "They aren't pressing charges."
"Why?"
"I explained to them that it will make a great story. How six macho men had their asses handed to them by four middle aged ladies..."
"Who are you calling middle aged?"
"Shut up Erin. Go on David."
"... would make great press. Papers, TV, be all over it."
"What they say."
"Drop it. You better get these wild women home."
Thanks David.I owe you one."
I followed Mrs.House Cat as she drove the girls home then we drove home together. She was quite for a while. "Sorry."
"No harm done. Apart from to those deperados you beat up."
"Anyway. I'm sorry." Then I heard her chuckling.
"What are you laughing at?
"But it was such FUN!"
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