If you were to draft a blueprint for the archetypal buckle bunny it would look a lot like Lee. Short, pretty, blond. Tight jeans, boots and the hat. Always the hat. But she wasn't that typical. She was from California. A real valley girl, perhaps one of the last of her kind. She even had, like, totally, the jargon. To the max.
I was on call attorney on Saturday night. The rodeo was in town so I expected to be busier than usual with the misdemeanor stupids and the felony idiots. It was quiet though. Not one call until the phone burbled at 3:45 am. It was the desk officer at Farmington Police Station.
"You the Public Defender?" The man had all the charm of a genital wart. "Somebody here wants a lawyer."
I picked up my keys and my case, kissed the sleeping Mrs. House Cat and headed out for the thirty minute drive to Farmington.
I was shown into an interview room where I met Lee. She was blond and pretty but her eyes, a deep hazel, were puffed from crying.
"Are you my lawyer?"
"I'm a Public Defender"
"Can you get me out of here?"
"I can try but first I want a few details then we can talk about what they say you did."
"I need to use the bathroom."
"I'll get someone to escort you."
"I don't need an escort."
It's the rules, miss."
While she was out I looked through the police report. Four Corners Motel,an old acquaintance. Rodeo rider, no surprise there. Another girl, yep. Booze, so far, so familiar. Oh my! Never seen that before.
She came back. "Can you get me out?"
Lets get some details first."
Name. She gave an address in Amarillo.
"Amarillo Texas?"
"You know another one?"
"There might be an Amarillo Street I don't know about."
"Yeah.Texas."
No husband or kids.Worked as a bartender.
"So, what happened."
"I hooked up with Roy in Clovis. We had a good time and agreed to meet up here to have some fun. He told me what motel he was booked into."
She dabbed her eyes. "I saw him in the corrals at the show and he said to come to the motel afterwards. I went over there and there was another chick there! And he wanted me to join in! The other chick got all mad and bailed. He got mad and started cursing me out and told me to pour him a drink. He was already pretty drunk. I gave him a large shot..."
"Of?"
"Jack. Then he passed out. I was still mad so while he was out I superglued his dick to his leg. That's it."
"You waited around until he woke up?"
"Yeah. He woke up and started squealing."
"Squealing"
"Yeah. Like a pig so I called an ambulance and the cops came and now I'm here."
She was quiet for a minute. There was fear behind the bravado. "Can you get me out?"
"What were doing with superglue?"
"To fix my sunglasses. Can you get me out?"
"That's quite a story. There is a Magistrates Court in the morning and we can ask the Judge to set a bond. It won't be low because you live out of state. Will you be able to meet that?"
"I can call my boss. She'll help."
"See you in a couple hours."
Four hours later we appeared in front of Judge Bill Victor. He read the report and looked like he was about to have a heart attack.
"My lord, young lady. That was inventive." He looked at the cop. "Where is the victim now?"
I stood up. "Objection Judge. Complaining witness."
He gave me a filthy look but otherwise ignored me. "Officer?"
"Just left the hospital Judge."
"Perhaps we should wait and talk with this..." he glanced at me "...complaining witness."
He was about to bring the gavel down when another police officer hurried into the courtroom and whispered into the ear of her colleague.
He stood up. "The victim doesn't want to press charges Judge."
"Not really surprising is it." He looked at Lee. "It is really your lucky day young lady. I suggest you buy a scratch card on your way out of town. Charges dismissed."
We met in the lobby. "Thanks Mr. Public Defender." I could hear the click of her boots on the asphalt long after she was out of sight.
I was on call attorney on Saturday night. The rodeo was in town so I expected to be busier than usual with the misdemeanor stupids and the felony idiots. It was quiet though. Not one call until the phone burbled at 3:45 am. It was the desk officer at Farmington Police Station.
"You the Public Defender?" The man had all the charm of a genital wart. "Somebody here wants a lawyer."
I picked up my keys and my case, kissed the sleeping Mrs. House Cat and headed out for the thirty minute drive to Farmington.
I was shown into an interview room where I met Lee. She was blond and pretty but her eyes, a deep hazel, were puffed from crying.
"Are you my lawyer?"
"I'm a Public Defender"
"Can you get me out of here?"
"I can try but first I want a few details then we can talk about what they say you did."
"I need to use the bathroom."
"I'll get someone to escort you."
"I don't need an escort."
It's the rules, miss."
While she was out I looked through the police report. Four Corners Motel,an old acquaintance. Rodeo rider, no surprise there. Another girl, yep. Booze, so far, so familiar. Oh my! Never seen that before.
She came back. "Can you get me out?"
Lets get some details first."
Name. She gave an address in Amarillo.
"Amarillo Texas?"
"You know another one?"
"There might be an Amarillo Street I don't know about."
"Yeah.Texas."
No husband or kids.Worked as a bartender.
"So, what happened."
"I hooked up with Roy in Clovis. We had a good time and agreed to meet up here to have some fun. He told me what motel he was booked into."
She dabbed her eyes. "I saw him in the corrals at the show and he said to come to the motel afterwards. I went over there and there was another chick there! And he wanted me to join in! The other chick got all mad and bailed. He got mad and started cursing me out and told me to pour him a drink. He was already pretty drunk. I gave him a large shot..."
"Of?"
"Jack. Then he passed out. I was still mad so while he was out I superglued his dick to his leg. That's it."
"You waited around until he woke up?"
"Yeah. He woke up and started squealing."
"Squealing"
"Yeah. Like a pig so I called an ambulance and the cops came and now I'm here."
She was quiet for a minute. There was fear behind the bravado. "Can you get me out?"
"What were doing with superglue?"
"To fix my sunglasses. Can you get me out?"
"That's quite a story. There is a Magistrates Court in the morning and we can ask the Judge to set a bond. It won't be low because you live out of state. Will you be able to meet that?"
"I can call my boss. She'll help."
"See you in a couple hours."
Four hours later we appeared in front of Judge Bill Victor. He read the report and looked like he was about to have a heart attack.
"My lord, young lady. That was inventive." He looked at the cop. "Where is the victim now?"
I stood up. "Objection Judge. Complaining witness."
He gave me a filthy look but otherwise ignored me. "Officer?"
"Just left the hospital Judge."
"Perhaps we should wait and talk with this..." he glanced at me "...complaining witness."
He was about to bring the gavel down when another police officer hurried into the courtroom and whispered into the ear of her colleague.
He stood up. "The victim doesn't want to press charges Judge."
"Not really surprising is it." He looked at Lee. "It is really your lucky day young lady. I suggest you buy a scratch card on your way out of town. Charges dismissed."
We met in the lobby. "Thanks Mr. Public Defender." I could hear the click of her boots on the asphalt long after she was out of sight.
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