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Is there anywhere more boring than Gelsenkirchen?

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    Is there anywhere more boring than Gelsenkirchen?

    ursus arctos posted on a thread in the football section the following sentence: "Gelsenkirchen isn't really a nice day out kind of place."

    He's probably right looking at its wiki page, which struggles to bring up anything of great cultural or historical interest, though no doubt the bars are lively places if you want a good beer and a chat about football.

    Some time back there was a series in some newspaper or other about crap towns, but how about boring ones? Gelsenkirchen has about a quarter of a million inhabitants so to be fair let's restrict any nominations to towns/cities of a decent size, otherwise Hollyhead would win ever time.
    Last edited by Sporting; 30-08-2018, 10:43.

    #2
    Hemel Hempstead

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      #3
      Gelsenkirchen would get my vote. Went there once with a couple of mates, to see one of Schalke's final Bundesliga matches in the Parkstadion. We stayed at hotel in Gelsenkirchen itself and asked at the desk about decent bars in town, having arrived fairly late. A shrug of the shoulders was the reply, so we wandered out to find something for ourselves. This was not an easy task, there seemed to be next to nothing going on, on a Friday night - the only place we found, we were the youngest patrons by some distance, it was golden oldies night and the music was the German equivalent of Pat Boone. So we called a cab and asked the driver where to go in Gelsenkirchen. His answer: the brothel.

      We talked him out of taking us there and he took us to a nightclub in an industrial estate in Bochum, with the promise that it would be 'geil'. Well, OK... at the door, we were told it was Greek Night, but when it was established that we were English, lots of laughter and in went for a night of plate-smashing, ouzo and music we'd never heard before. So that did turn into a great night... and it definitely wasn't in Gelsenkirchen.

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        #4
        Its population is slightly over one fifth of Gelsenkirchen, so I'm not sure it qualifies for this thread, but I have twice experienced Ushuaia in their Summer months, and that city is irredeemably boring. At least in their Winter, there's skiing.

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          #5
          Reading that description of a night out in Gelsenkirchen immediately took me back to an evening of teppanyaki dining. In Eindhoven, which would be my nomination.

          Honourable mention for my hometown of Maidenhead, but it has Boulter's Lock, Brunel's Sounding Arch and a few OK pubs.

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            #6
            I've been to Gelsenkirchen. Reminded me a lot of Bolton. But yeah, unless you're watching Schalke, I'd advise going somewhere else.

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              #7
              There's no set limit on the minimum population required for contributions, obviously, but of course there are small hamlets everywhere where nothing happens.

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                #8
                Originally posted by The Bretwalda View Post
                Hemel Hempstead
                Well, at least it has an interesting name.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Sits View Post
                  Reading that description of a night out in Gelsenkirchen immediately took me back to an evening of teppanyaki dining. In Eindhoven, which would be my nomination.
                  Oi!

                  No, wait, that's fair.

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                    #10
                    Sorry Wouter I forgot. It was many years ago but that brick central shopping plaza area is bloody dull, and everything else seemed to be Philips.

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                      #11
                      I spent a few months in the late eighties working in Reading. I remember thinking, and commenting, at the time that the place had all the disadvantages of a big city (traffic, crowds) but none of the advantages (i.e., things to do). My colleagues didn't disagree. although I dobn't know how many of them actually lived there. One of the highlights was that if you tried to get home at the wrong time of day, it would take 45 minutes to get out of the office parking lot.

                      At least it was reasonably easy to get to that London.

                      Now all of the above may have changed for the better. I hope so.

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                        #12
                        I had a great day getting drunk with American and Czech fans in Gelsenkirchen. But that wasn't a typical Gelsenkirchen day, I suppose.

                        For anyone who thinks Eindhoven is bad, I give you Lelystad. Or anywhere else on the godforsaken polder. The place always gives me the creeps.

                        And I always thought Gloucester was bad, although to be fair, I haven't been there properly for a good 15 years. I suppose if you compare it to a Worksop or a Mansfield it's probably quite cheery. But considering the loveliness all around it, Gloucester just should be so much better.

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                          #13
                          I remember rocking up in gelsenkirchen in the WC2006 and bring with a vegetarian mate. We asked at the main FIFA hotel in town for a recommendation for a veggie place to eat and when we got there, my friend was served rehydrated soya pieces.

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                            #14
                            I think I mentioned this at the time, but checking in to our hotel in Stuttgart a couple of years ago we asked the girl on reception if there was anything she would recommend as a top attraction - she looked doubtful for a moment and then brightened and said, "You should go up the tower in the railway station. There is a good view."

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                              #15
                              Brussels. Didn't know why they brewed breakfast beer until I had stayed there a day.

                              Not quite as boring as the towns mentioned so far perhaps but laughably called the most liveable city in the world is Vienna. It's got the best hat shop in the world and a funfair reminiscent of Scooby Doo but, aside from that, it is a boring Newport. It isn't even the nicest or second nicest city on the Danube.

                              Mansfield isn't boring - it is, like Merthyr, the armpit of the earth.

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                                #16
                                Stuttgart has both the Mercedes and Porsche museums, a decent state museum and art gallery, a large central park (by the station, as it happens) and some neighbourhoods of interest.

                                I can’t think of a worse indictment of Gelsenkirchen than the suggestion that one go to Bochum to have fun.

                                Youngstown, Ohio, which shares Gelsenkirchen’s issues of being an industrial center whose industries are gone and whose ambitious young people have decamped to nearby cities with more going on, struck me as pretty bleak.

                                Very different in many ways and yet equally without interest for me are the well-off exurbs here that are focused on conspicuous consumption, megachurches and keeping out brown people. Cobb County, Georgia or Plano, Texas, for example.

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                                  #17
                                  Brussels is a genuinely interesting city and great place to live, but is rather devoted to keeping this fact hidden from visitors.

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                                    #18
                                    I would feel warmer towards Brussels if we hadn't had our (4 star) hotel room turned over by someone with a room key within an hour of us checking in.

                                    Ursus, I would've been happy to do the Porsche and Merc museums, but Mrs TrL would've been bored silly. We did have a wander through the park to be honest, and found a couple of decent Brauhauses, but it still felt a bit... lacking, compared to the likes of Koln, Dusseldorf, even Frankfurt.

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                                      #19
                                      If Schalke came from a decent place, they wouldn't have half as many fans. It's like Kaiserslautern and Mönchengladbach: The only thing of interest that happens there is a home game twice a month. And away games give you a reason to leave the place every fortnight.

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                                        #20
                                        I also ended up in Bochum when I went to Gelsenkirchen. The following day I found a decent enough bar in Gelsenkirchen for before and after the game, and I was also the youngest person there. This was a few months before my 60th birthday.
                                        Last edited by Capybara; 30-08-2018, 12:32.

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                                          #21
                                          Originally posted by treibeis View Post
                                          If Schalke came from a decent place, they wouldn't have half as many fans. It's like Kaiserslautern and Mönchengladbach: The only thing of interest that happens there is a home game twice a month. And away games give you a reason to leave the place every fortnight.
                                          Kaiserslautern only has one other redeeming feature: the Benderhof bar. A 5-minute walk from the station, frequented by students, locals, football fans and featuring a pool table on casters, which therefore moves away from you when you lean over to take a shot. They also serve a good selection of beers at decent prices and have live music. We've only been over here a few weeks but this is making me all nostalgic about an afternoon in Kaiserslautern, which is not something anyone says with any regularity.

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                                            #22
                                            Originally posted by Bordeaux Education View Post
                                            .

                                            Mansfield isn't boring - it is, like Merthyr, the armpit of the earth.
                                            Merthyr's got a decent retail park and a nice multiplex cinema now. It's also got a steam railway.

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                                              #23
                                              Bochum appears to be in the running for most unlikely holiday destination for OTFers - I stayed there too, though in my case it was instead of staying in Dortmund, rather than Gelsenkirchen.

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                                                #24
                                                Tavistock. Gorgeous looking place, but so, so dull.

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                                                  #25
                                                  Another place has just leapt to mind that could rival Gelsenkirchen for tedium: Weil am Rhein

                                                  A very good friend of mine (and poster on here, many moons ago) lived there for about a decade. I have no idea how he managed it. It's right on the German-Swiss border but has none of the charm, convenience or liveliness that you can find in some border towns - although it's maybe fairer to use the past tense. He moved over the border to Basel to move in with his now good lady wife and since then, Weil has had a new shopping centre built (to attract Swiss shoppers over the border thanks to the prices being much, much lower than in Migros country), now boasts a direct tram line connection to the centre of Basel and has been smartened up a bit. But when he was there, the main attractions were a pub called the Alte Zunft (housed in the 1960s concrete town hall monstrosity complex) and the kebab house on the bridge by the station, which gave me appalling gut rot on the day England threw away a two-goal lead against Portugal at Euro 2004. I only just made it back to the flat in time, that was extremely unpleasant. Anyway, I digress. Weil am Rhein: what a shithole.

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