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    At what point...?

    ... Do I mention to others that my husband is getting very forgetful, and importantly, when I am not here?

    #2
    Now, frankly. Speaking with my professional hat on, sort out whatever your equivalent of a Lasting Power of Attorney is immediately, so that if he does lose capacity you can at least continue to look after his affairs without state/Court intervention. Also review and if necessary update your Wills.

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      #3
      Listen to the man.

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        #4
        Thank you. That is not what I am worried about.

        I am more worried about leaving him alone.

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          #5
          Should I hire an attorney for this?

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            #6
            And, really quite scared, and feeling very selfish because of that.

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              #7
              Feeling selfish because you are scared? You have absolutely no reason to feel selfish at all

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                #8
                An attorney can help with the legal aspects, but the personal ones are more difficult.

                Does he drive? If so, can you stop that?

                Are there people around you that you could ask to keep an eye out for him should he wander off?

                There should be public elder care services at the city or county level that can help

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                  #9
                  Is he aware of the problem?

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by ursus arctos View Post
                    Does he drive? If so, can you stop that?
                    Yes, and probably not. Maybe.

                    I am not sure about asking for services because of the massive "elephant" in the room.

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by ad hoc View Post
                      Is he aware of the problem?
                      Yes, and no. He has said certain things about passwords, and blue book values... yes, he is aware to that extent.

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                        #12
                        I also feel like a huge drama queen, because any news I share with you lot is either REALLY GOOD, or FUCKING AWFUL AND EVERYONE'S DEAD, type thing.

                        So, there's that.

                        And, as I typed that out loud, I knew that was self-important bollocks.

                        I should probably get some sleep. Thanks all.
                        Last edited by Gerontophile; 25-08-2018, 19:18.

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                          #13
                          The problems when this begins to happen with someone you love and care for are not simple. First you have to recognise it yourself — this isn't easy with somebody you see every day, and who's an important part of your life. My Dad was in denial regarding my Mum's dementia for years when it was clear to everyone else. The second thing is to tell other people, especially friends, in case you genuinely aren't noticing incremental changes. They see him less frequently than you, and any decline might be more obvious to them. Third, talk to your family physician. There are about a dozen different types of dementia, some can be managed more easily than others especially in the early stages. Finally, and most importantly, you have to talk to him about it. It won't, indeed can't, be easy but the longer it gets put off the more difficult it becomes for both of you. It's definitely a problem for you both, and it's vital he knows you're there with him all the way. Down the line you'll need help yourself — respite care etc. — don't be afraid to ask both friends and professionals for it.

                          Best of luck.

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                            #14
                            You are not being selfish, Gero. I don't have any advice to add that hasn't been said by others, but I'm just adding my support.

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                              #15
                              Thanks, and thanks Amor.

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                                #16
                                Originally posted by Gerontophile View Post
                                I also feel like a huge drama queen...
                                ...but where am I going to find one at this late hour?

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                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by WOM View Post
                                  ...but where am I going to find one at this late hour?
                                  And thank YOU, WOM. Where would I be without a mouthy toerag to make me smile?

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                                    #18
                                    You want one of those as well?

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                                      #19
                                      Amor really summed it up Gero but I would add that it can't hurt to talk things over with a lawyer, just in case.

                                      Also, the storied collection of reprobates and ne'erdowells that patronize this forum can be guaranteed to be very supportive. They were very supportive of me.

                                      Good luck.

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