Most persistent e-mail marketers

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

I bought my Mum a plum tree for Christmas online. Very nice it was too, by all accounts (I haven't even seen the thing yet). It was from a garden centre in Exeter called Dobie's. Who have, subsequently, e-mailed me every fucking day with further offers. At what point, now we're well into my seventh month without any further purchases, will they give up?

[WOM]

Aahahahhaha.

Never. Never, ever ever ever ever. Unless you go online and unsubscribe, which you'll find at the very bottom of the small print. But otherwise never.

We know you. We know what you buy. And we know where you live.

Bahahahhahahahaa.

Click here for other great offers on <<indoor plants>>.

[Southport Zeb]

My parents went on a cruise about ten years ago. Until they moved house last year, they received at least two or three brochures for cruises every week after.

[Lang Spoon]

GDPR motherfuckers. They are surely in breach if they didn’t ask you to opt in prior to May 25 (you don’t need to opt out)

[MsD]

I've been trying to unsubscribe from an Italian site for years, I think I can guess the "unsubscribe" link but can't understand the page it opens.

[Lang Spoon]

Shout loudly at it in English.

[Amor de Cosmos]

Every morning I'm greeted with emails from Weight Watchers (?) Liberty's (huh) Home Talk, Pet Smart, and Adobe. The last two are irritating but understandable, the others not so much.

[MsD]

I'm subscribed to Paloma Faith breaking news, somehow, so I get to hear how she feared she wouldn't lose her baby weight, and how she worried about working with Boy George.

[Lang Spoon]

Why was she scared of Boy George? I don’t think there’d be a Me Too moment.

[ursus arctos]

Italian sites are rather notorious for making unsubscribing more difficult than it should be and even ifnoring properly executed requests sometimes.

[MsD]

So I’m stuck with them for life. Oh well.

Spoony, I think Paloma was nervous about his fearsomely bitchy persona - well, it isn’t a persona, he’s a fearsome bitch - rather than fearing for her virtue. I never read past the headline, though.

[ursus arctos]

Not necessarily

I’d be happy to translate or test it for you. It isn’t as if I’d really notice another Italian email I don’t read (though the chances that anything you would subscribe to would be massively more interesting than the stuff I subscribed to while working there are ridiculously high).

[3 Colours Red]

All I can say is never borrow your phone to anyone gullible enough to believe that the spambots on Russian dating apps are real people. They're impossible to block - either using temporary addresses or spoofing your own email.

[beak]

Your post could have finished at the word "anyone", to be fair.

[EIM]

Fresh Whole South Coast Lemon Sole - 454-570g
This South Coast* fish is highly esteemed by many chefs for quality.Lemon Sole has moist, sweet tasting,delicate flesh. Its best cooked on the bone ,trimmed,with black skin removed 16/20oz fish.*

£5.95/each (Code: FLWE51)
Fresh Whole Mackerel -
Landed in Amble,Northumberland by Holly, superb quality 3/400 fish.*

£1.95/each (Code: FMLWE)
Fresh Monkfish Tails - 2kg+
These superb Monk tails come from the Coldest &cleanest of Scottish waters so you get a top quality product which,once trimmed and cut into medallions,can be cooked in myriad of ways 2-3kilo fish.*

£11.95/kg (Code: FMT180)
Fresh Plaice Fillets - 140-170g
At its freshest,Plaice is a great alternative to the more expensive Lemon and Dove sole. Were sourcing our Plaice from the North Atlantic waters surrounding Iceland to bring you top quality fish 140/170g fillets s/on.*

£1.25/each (Code: FPE155)
Fresh Sea Reared Trout Suprêmes - 170-200g
Loch reared on the North west coast of Scotland and fed a low oil diet,this delicious Rainbow Trout has a firm texture and strong colour 170/200g portion s/on.

£2.85/each (Code: FTRS18)
Fresh Yellowfin Tuna Suprêmes (pole & line caught) - 170-200g
Our stunning Tuna is line caught in the Indian Ocean. Its firm,rich flesh and meaty texture will appeal to customers looking for a healthier main course option 170/200g.

£3.50/each (Code: FTS185)

Fish deals fresh from Warrington. Five times a week for four years.

[longeared]

I once spent a night in a hotel in Hull. As a result of this booking.com has a daily desire to ask if I wish to repeat the experience.

[Ginger Yellow]

I get bombarded at work by emails from "Anna" trying to lease my employer cars. Every fucking day at times. I keep sending them to the spam folder but the email domain keeps changing, so they slip through after a couple of weeks.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Nespresso.

I think I ended up writing an elaborate email rule, just to get rid of Nespresso emails.

[Jah Womble]

Hillary's - the blinds/curtains people: I spent a sh*tload of money on same for my flat a few years back, and to this day receive at least three leaflets/brochures a week from them.

Other than that, Vanquis are very persistent in sending me application forms for their not-very-competitive credit cards. And Jackson's, the estate agents are always enquiring as to when I'm going to let my place out. They can do one, as well.

In terms of emails, Paperchase, Ask Pizza and some music thing that I don't recall ever having seen, let alone read.

('Lend', rather than 'borrow'.)

[ursus arctos]

Shortly after my return to the US, I somehow got onto one or more lists of Chief Information Officers, which has ensured a constant stream of cold call emails from sad sacks pushing services that have little interest to the Firm and even less to me.

[adams house cat]

Never, ever, do one of those on line surveys. Within minutes, nay, seconds, your inbox will be inundated with offers for cheap loans, credit cards, dating sites and the chance for a free 14 day trial of an iron lung. You will spend hours cleaning this crap off and hitting "unsubscribe". Don't get as much as I used to but they still get through.

Couple weeks ago I decided I needed a haircut and as I was in the Wal-Mart lot I decided to use the hairdressers there. I have a usual barber but he is the other side of town and I was pushed for time. Anyway, I asked for a haircut and was asked for my email address. "Why?" "Er, we need it." "Why? "So that we can contact you." "Why? I need a haircut,not a liver transplant." "Er..." I left. Had my hair cut the next day at my usual place.

Beware. This information is then sold to who knows whom so that you can get more crap through your inbox.

[San Bernardhinault]

I once used a parking service at Gatwick. I spent maybe 15 quid on it. It must have been 12 years ago. They still send me email even though I've never re-used their service. (I could, of course, unsubscribe, but now it's almost a game, a test of their patience).

[WOM]

Chump. As long as that's an active email address, they have patience. Remember, email marketing is basically free. They'll keep pinging you until you buy again or deactivate the account.

[Jah Womble]

'Buying again' isn't exactly going to stop them.

[hobbes]

I hate that casual dropped into conversation "can I have your email address?" You get at Lots of shops now.
It's designed to catch you off guard so you give it before you've had a chance to question it.
It must work because whenever I say "of course not" in reply they look surprised.

I asked what they wanted it for once. "So we can email you your receipt," they said.
"Why, have you run out of till rolls?" I asked, baffled. Apparently they hadn't.