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It's Cute Fuzzy Little Mouse Day

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    It's Cute Fuzzy Little Mouse Day

    Jumping on the trend of posting about infestations.

    Had mice last year, and didn't begrudge them their presence that much: if you live in Amsterdam, let alone right in the centre of Amsterdam, you almost definitely are going to have mice at some point. I live on a tiny alleyway, and on the other side of the alleyway was a building site for the best part of a year. So it was kind of unavoidable.

    But now they're back. One showed it's face scuttling across the floor of my disgusting bedsit only yesterday. The vexing thing about this is that I'm in the process of buying the place, and only the day before had a taxateur visit to put a semi-official value on the place. I wsa trying my hardest to chip this number down by casually mentioning all the work I want to do once I own the place - "ah yes, it would be nice to get these three broken windows fixed" / "I can't wait to have a bathroom floor that doesn't flood in one corner when I have a shower" / "it'd be nice to rip out this kitchen so foul and old that you can scrub it all day and it will never look clean" - and it really would have been nice to mention the mice also.

    Anyway.

    Humane traps are pointless for two reasons: they don't catch the mice, and once they do there isn't really anywhere around here I can reasonably let them go. Behind KFC? Inhumane traps are bullshit as well, and nearly always result in one having to euthanize (or, more realistically, dysthanize) some poor bastard that's just had it's spine or back legs snapped. But I should probably do something about it before the twat upstairs takes a break from telling me how he's friends with Kool Keith to harangue me about how it is interfering with his AirBnB empire, as if the presence of mice is entirely my fault. Of course, the correct response would be "get to fuck, stop playing an active part in the slow destruction of Amsterdam with your bullshit, and then get to fuck again", but that wouldn't be very neighbourly.

    So what I need to do is find someone with a housecat I can borrow for a couple of days.

    #2
    When we had mice in our house the council guy who came out advised the only effective way of dealing with them was poison. We put down lots of bait stations and the mice were gone in about a month.

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      #3
      A mouse? In Amsterdam? Many sarcastic thanks for the earworm

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        #4
        Originally posted by dogbeak View Post
        Inhumane traps are bullshit as well, and nearly always result in one having to euthanize (or, more realistically, dysthanize) some poor bastard that's just had it's spine or back legs snapped.
        I've been cheerfully slaughtering the local vermin with back-snappers for years. Only recall having to finish off a mouse once, which I did with a sledgehammer (not recommended - you get a surprisingly large splatter radius from a squished mouse) and one occasion where one had got his leg trapped, who I gingerly released, feeling that it was kind off a score draw situation.

        Given cats aren't known for providing a quick kill, if you invest in a moggy you are only delegating the pain-infliction to a dumb animal - engaging in cruelty by proxy. I'm sure you'll sleep at night, you heartless fiend, but I'll be silently judging you, all the way away in (appropriately) New Zealand.

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          #5
          Originally posted by Lurgee View Post
          (not recommended - you get a surprisingly large splatter radius from a squished mouse)
          I can't believe I am offering advice on this topic, but this is what plastic bags were invented for.

          Given cats aren't known for providing a quick kill, if you invest in a moggy you are only delegating the pain-infliction to a dumb animal
          I was thinking more of the probably-almost-definitely-a-complete-fiction I'd heard that it can be good enough to get your domicile smelling of a cat's presence.

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            #6
            Originally posted by ad hoc View Post
            A mouse? In Amsterdam? Many sarcastic thanks for the earworm
            Where?
            There on the stair, a little mouse with clogs on.

            Yeah, I got it too.

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              #7
              Originally posted by Sits View Post
              Where?
              There on the stair, a little mouse with clogs on.

              Yeah, I got it too.
              As a child, I always used to confuse that song with "My Grandfather's Clock". The one that was too tall for the shelf and therefore stood ninety years on the floor. I believe it was taller by far than the old man himself, though it weighed not a pennyweight more.

              I hope nobody gets THAT as an earworm. Bloody awful business.

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                #8
                Well gee, thanks.

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                  #9
                  You know what?

                  My brother Sylvest? He had an arm like a leg, and a punch that could sink a battleship.

                  Take that!

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by dogbeak View Post
                    I wsa trying my hardest to chip this number down by casually mentioning all the work I want to do once I own the place - "ah yes, it would be nice to get these three broken windows fixed" / "I can't wait to have a bathroom floor that doesn't flood in one corner when I have a shower" / "it'd be nice to rip out this kitchen so foul and old that you can scrub it all day and it will never look clean"
                    Forgot my favourite part of this story. As well as these (possibly futile) efforts, I was treated to the delight of the taxateur opening the meter cupboard - the key to which I'd only received the previous evening, having lived here for two years - only for a bunch of tins of Heineken to rain down on her feet. Upon inspection, it turns out they'd expired five years ago. How old does a can of beer take to go off anyway? And even accounting for Heineken being absolute pisswater, who keeps eight tins of beer around that long without drinking them? Ridiculous.

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                      #11
                      There's a lot of grousing about earworms here.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by dogbeak View Post
                        I can't believe I am offering advice on this topic, but this is what plastic bags were invented for.
                        Awestruck, I bow before your knowledge of mouse slaughter.

                        I can't wait to put this new wisdom into practice.

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by dogbeak View Post
                          I was thinking more of the probably-almost-definitely-a-complete-fiction I'd heard that it can be good enough to get your domicile smelling of a cat's presence.
                          Hah. Our mice dab a bit of our cats' pheromones behind their ears and wear it like cologne. The only thing that truly works is snap traps. If you use poison, make sure its the kind that dehydrates the corpse or you'll have rotting mouse smell behind your...whatever...until they mummify.

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                            #14
                            I'd like to help, dogbeak, but sorry. I'm not available.
                            Last edited by adams house cat; 09-07-2018, 14:37.

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