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Alexander Boris dePfeffel Johnson

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    #26
    He'd fancy himself as some olde worlde amateur. Or shamateur, with the Test and County Cricket Board paying his "expenses".

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      #27
      Ha ha. Bet he thinks he can bowl leg-spin too, though in reality it would fly out of the back of his hand down towards the man at long leg. Cunt.

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        #28
        Getting angry at Toby Young's imaginary cricketing failings is a fantastically cathartic use of my emotional energy, I must admit

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          #29
          He'd bowl beamers surely. Medium pace (he'd think they were fast). If anyone complained about his approach he'd go on about political correctness.

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            #30
            "Not playing captain" more like, while playing.

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              #31
              He'd bat wearing a stupid stripy public school cap which the fast bowler me in my twenties would knock off his fucking head along with his teeth.

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                #32
                There's a "Chinamen" joke in there somewhere too.

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                  #33
                  He'd certainly fancy himself as the Captain, even though there are already a captain and vice captain, so he'd wander around the field ordering people around, telling leg slip to move to second slip and stand 3 yards further back and then tell the bowler to bowl leg side, and a bit slower. And then the actual captain would have to move everyone back.

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                    #34
                    If you ever get to bowl at this bloke, don't try and bounce him out.

                    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franci...Baron_Stafford

                    Because of the school I went to, I got invited a couple of times to play for Gloucestershire Gypsies, a posh "wandering eleven". Left hander, absolutely murdered my bowling. I should have realized what was going to happen when he edged one past slip in my first over, and the slip came up and gave me the most overwhelming apology anybody's ever given me for anything.

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                      #35
                      Toby Young‏Verified account
                      @toadmeister
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                      I’ve posted a rebuttal of the ‘eugenicist’ and ‘neo-Nazi’ smears on my Facebook page. Please RT so these grotesque, despicable lies are exposed for what they are
                      No word on suing Private Eye yet.

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                        #36
                        Johnson has called Sadiq Khan a 'popinjay' for his less than servile attitude to Trump. Dog-whistle?

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                          #37
                          The line against Khan is that he's too much time "posturing" (ie expressing dislike of racism) and not enough sorting out knife crime.

                          Whereas writing books and newspaper columns while mayor, that was fine.

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                            #38
                            I see outward-looking, there's a whole world outside there, bring on Empire 2, Boris Johnson hasn't said anything about Trump insulting lots of the Commonwealth.

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                              #39
                              Boris / cannon / skip / forks / fire.

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                                #40
                                The African Union aren't impressed with Trump. 18 of their members are Commonwealth countries.

                                Love the idea too that the Mayor of London and Leader of the Opposition are more powerful than the Government.

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                                  #41
                                  Originally posted by Tubby Isaacs View Post
                                  The African Union aren't impressed with Trump. 18 of their members are Commonwealth countries.

                                  Love the idea too that the Mayor of London and Leader of the Opposition are more powerful than the Government.
                                  I would be more impressed if they came together and closed all the US bases which wont happen so fuck them.

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                                    #42
                                    Originally posted by Toby Gymshorts View Post
                                    Boris / cannon / skip / forks / fire.
                                    Johnson.

                                    Not Boris.

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                                      #43
                                      Originally posted by Mr Beast View Post
                                      He'd bat wearing a stupid stripy public school cap which the fast bowler me in my twenties would knock off his fucking head along with his teeth.
                                      I Zingari, surely?

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                                        #44
                                        Free Foresters.

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                                          #45
                                          Boris Johnson hasn't said anything about Trump insulting lots of the Commonwealth.
                                          Why would he? People of Johnson's lineage and worldview think such countries are shitholes too. That's why they conquered them and dehumanised their inhabitants.

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                                            #46
                                            No reason, except that it would make the "trading with the world" stuff look more plausible.

                                            Though I suppose nobody seriously thinks they're doing this farce because they think black countries are treated unfairly by the EU.

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                                              #47
                                              Boris is Gubby Allen hoping the aborigines die out (see Cricket Books thread) or E.W. Swanton sending love letters to apartheid South Africa.

                                              OTOH you'd think that Boris privately thinks that Trump is a cunt, given that Boris likes old money and Trump is clearly the decadent capitalist bringing down standards. Then again, some Tories were pro-fascist as early as 1924 (see Arthur Gilligan).

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                                                #48
                                                He's back in big ideas mode. "Floating" building a second channel tunnel just for cars.

                                                Given the amount of money he wasted with his airport, he might as well.

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                                                  #49
                                                  I hope to hear more about this NDA he supposedly has in place. Or seeing as hes unsackable short of murder, I just want him to die painfully and soon.

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                                                    #50
                                                    And now the insufferable prick's tossed out a proposal for a 22-mile bridge across the Channel to France. Which won't happen, ever, and probably shouldn't even be reported on, such is its non-likelihood. Another dead cat to throw about I s'pose.

                                                    And it's not as if he has a track record of getting bridge projects built

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